Mom & Dad's First

I love you

2008-11-01T13:48:00.002+08:00

Dear daughter,
Next week I will be delivering you by c-sect. You are in breech position and my having high blood pressure. Baby.. mummy very sorry. I know through out the pregnancy mummy have not been happy. It's not that mummy and daddy don't want you but mummy and daddy facing too much problems. We are facing so much financial difficulties up to the extend we rent out our house and we are living at our relatives place. Mummy tried to work in October but failed. Mummy was too sick and tired. Lately mummy has been feeling very tired. Life is tough. Maybe it is fated that women's life will be tough. All the challenges mummy faced during pregnancy is beyond my control. Daddy wants us to go separate ways and mummy still hoping he will change his mind after seeing you. I really love your daddy. I want daddy to be with us forever. To mummy daddy play an important part in raising children. I really believe in father's love. Mummy trying to change to suit daddy's life. But mummy can't stop myself from defending the truth. I have to do this to protect my children. I don't want you and your brother will get hurt. To me your self confidence is very important.

I hope whatever mummy gone through makes you a strong person. It is not easy being a woman. Well that's life. I am excited and scared to have you in my world. Excited to have a daughter but scared about our future. I believe you and your brother will make mummy a strong person. I really hope you will be a happy baby. I don't want my sorrows affect you in anyway. I know how a pregnant mother feels will affect it's baby. If things don't turn out well, I really blame myself and maybe partly I will blame daddy. But I hope I won't blame daddy. It's not my style to blame other people.

I have to go. I love you.

I love you

2008-11-01T12:10:00.000+08:00

Dear Son,

I am aware that I have not been writing for a long time. Too many things happened. Mummy have been sad for months. I have been thinking if I should always write happy moments or to tell you the truth even it is painful. After much thinking, I should tell you the truth because I want you to grow up to be a man. At the moment is 36 weeks pregnant. We are expecting a baby girl. But sad to say daddy didn't seem happy at first. A lot of pressure between us. Daddy wants me and daddy to go on separate ways. But I love you to much to let you grow up without a father. To me father's love is very important. I am trying my best to suit daddy's expectation as a wife. But I know I cannot be a nice wife anymore. Meaning defending the truth and protecting you when something goes wrong. From my point of view mummy and daddy are adults. No matter how difficult life is, we should be able to face it. But you and your expected baby sister are young children. You have no sin. You have no right to suffer. You should be enjoying life. Live as a kid. But whatever happens after I give birth to your baby sister, I vow that I will try my best to bring both of you up. I maybe away from you and your future sister often because I have to work. But we have to be apart because we need money to survive. Even if mummy and daddy still together forever, mummy still need to work because we are facing a lot of financial difficulties and mummy need to save money again in case there is an emergency.

Whatever it is I want you to know that I love you very much. Frankly, my health is not in good situation. I do not know if I can survive during delivery or not. But I always pray so that I can live until you grown up. I don't want you to grow up without a mother or father. Parents play an important role in a child's life. Past few months we lived with your aunty hawa. But things are too rough there. I don't want you to get sick or hurt all the time. To me your self confidence is very important. Now we are staying with uncle adam. But i don't know why, we are more broke here. Financially in trouble. Mummy will delivering your sister next week. I have no confidence in our maid to take care of you when I am away. Yesterday you almost hit your head twice due to her negligence. Lucky you know how to save yourself. Mummy & daddy enrol you to gym class when you were 6mths was worth it. Mummy definitely will enrol for your sister. You learnt how to fall properly and save yourself from hitting your head. I am glad you still remember how to protect yourself. Now you are 27mths old and yet you can still remember what you've learnt. I am so proud of you. Daddy did not see what happened. I just wished he saw all the dangerous things happened to you. I just want him to be more vigilant. You are only 27mths old.. you need to be monitored closely.

My son, Fa'iz Hilman, I love you very much. You are my strength for me to go on. You are the reason for me to live. Almighty God let me have you as a gift in my life. Now your sister will be around to make mummy more stronger. I love your daddy very much. I am aware that he can be very difficult and cold at times. Daddy have his own good qualities. Both of us start our marriage in a wrong direction. I was to engrossed in pleasing him and he was to engrossed in other matters. I just want you to know I love all our family including atuk hassan, nenek jun and all my nieces and nephew. I love you very much Fa'iz Hilman.

Me... me.. me..me..

2008-07-18T22:33:00.006+08:00

Always up to something..

Milk a pose!
Water parade
Army days
Attention or senang diri?

ohhh
me & daddy
My special $1/day "stroller"
Mummy at 20 weeks pregnant adik

Sleepy in the car
Popeye look
Me the handsome boy

Mummy and I have been sick. I went to the doctor twice. Mummy went to the doctor thrice. Mummy is very sick. When she sick she tends to be grouchy & keep to herself. I have been enjoying myself living with my cousins. My first activity for the day will be playing with them. I no longer look for mummy in the morning. I will be going to school soon. Daddy said my birthday gift is to be able to go to school. My birthday is in 2 weeks time. I know daddy & mummy will think of something special for me.

Mummy's belly is getting bigger. I like to sit and put my feet on mummy's belly. We still don't know I going to have a baby brother or sister. I heard daddy wants me to have more siblings!!! YIPEEEEE!!! Mummy don't know what to say. Mummy taking one step at a time. I weigh 15kgs. I did not put on much weight since last year. Maybe because I played a lot. I am a braver boy nowadays. I am not afraid of strangers. I talk more and people can understand me better. I know most alphabets even though my pronounciation is not clear. I know 123458.

Mummy & daddy stoped buying for me expesive toys. It is because in the house we have 2 other young toddlers like me. So if they buy toys for me .. they have to buy 3 toys to be fair to all. So for now my parents will bring me to places I like to go. No more toys for me uhukk uhukk uhukk Well it's ok.. i believe in school there will be more toys waiting for me.. I hope!

Hilman latest pic..

2008-06-12T19:39:00.001+08:00

Hilman at 21mths old. Pic taken with cousin Eka.

21 mths 2 weeks old

2008-05-21T19:10:00.002+08:00

Yeayyyyy I can speak more and more. Mummy and daddy always respond that what I am saying but I am not sure they understand or not.

I can say:
Jalan-jalan
gi shiop (shop)
what's that?
what's this?
play here

I can also identify more animals and things. Mummy always praise me for being helpful. I like to help bibik and mummy to do things. I like to serak-serak my toys too hehehehehe I am more choosy about food. Mummy upset I don't want to eat vegetables anymore. But I don't like it. What can I do? I still love fruits. At the moment I love nasi ayam & nasi beriyani.. yum yum.. I like rice with flavour.

I'll be staying with my twin cousins. I am so excited. I have friends to play with everyday. Some of my toys are at bedok. I think I going to have younger sibling. Mummy always let me play with her tummy. I am still curious what is inside my mummy's tummy.

Catch up soon!

Oooooooohhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhh hhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?????????

2008-05-03T05:48:00.003+08:00

hmmmmmmmmm mummy tummy getting bigger. Mummy & daddy kept on saying I am going to have adik soon and I am going to be abang. Mummy always show to me small human picture... I think it's called baby. But these little humans no shame, always not wearing anything. Not even a diaper! I think mummy tummy 9 weeks old already. Mummy just found out she have something in her tummy on 29 April 2008. On 30th April I saw a lot of red liquid on mummy's dress. I said "eeee!" and pointed to mummy's dress. That's how she know there's so much red liquid. I think it's called blood. Mummy panicked and mummy called daddy. Mummy cleaned herself. Daddy came back from night shift work and he took a bathe. After that mummy rushed to the hospital with daddy. Lucky thing the little human being is fine. The heart is pumping strong.

Am not sure if mummy is going to create a blog for 'adik'. Mummy always feels tired and sick. Mummy also stressed up to the max. There might be some changes. Mummy and baby condition may not be stable. We might live somewhere with mummy's sister so that somebody can look after mummy and me. We'll see how it goes.

As for me I have been an active boy. I drawn all over my house. I can say more words but still pelat. I really don't know how should I feel about having adik. I guess I may not understand what it is all about. Mummy did not get a chance to feel happy for some reasons. She is too occupied with something. But I know mummy love her children very much. Mummy always kiss me when I am sleeping. Mummy always admire me when I am sleeping. I pray mummy can remain calm with all the things she is going through. Love mummy, love hilman..love all.......

Mickey Mouse Fan

2008-03-17T09:11:00.002+08:00

Dear Son,

On the 15th of March 2008 we went to Disney On Ice show at the Singapore indoor stadium. Daddy bought the $62 ticket. Daddy also chose a perfect seat for us. I was unsure if you will sit still or understand the whole show. and guess what... U DID ENJOY THE SHOW! You wouldn't even let us adjust or change your seat. You sat that on our lap concentrating during the whole show. But during intermission, you are your usual self. You run around the indoor stadium, climbing the stairs up and down and daddy chase after you. Mummy bought the $12 cotton candy and about $15 popcorn (can't really remember how much). You cried only once during the show. Thank goodness it was during the finale you cried. You were shocked to hear the loud explosion.

We bought for you Mickey & Minnie figurines and a colouring book. Daddy told me that when I was in the toilet, you stand infront of the souveniers booth and kept on looking at the figurines.

At home you kept on spinning and turning until you get dizzy hehehehehe. You were immitating the disney on ice character. Lately we did have a lot of fun together. During the school holiday Mummy didn't work for 4 days. We spent a lot of time together. Now mummy is looking forward for our first holiday trip... yipeeeeeeeeeeeee

love & kisses,
Mummy

I gonna be 19mths in 3 days time!

2008-03-02T16:15:00.005+08:00

I do miss all of you. A lot of things. I just let the pictures & video http://www.youtube.com/luftiah do the talking.

*peace*
hugs.. Fa'iz Hilman

A Mickey Mouse Fan

2007-12-05T13:27:00.001+08:00

Last week I saw Mickey Mouse picture in the newspaper while daddy was reading it. I was behind daddy and I ran around the couch to look at the picture. Daddy was reading another page and I flip the newspaper to find the picture. I pointed Mickey Mouse picture to daddy. Daddy showed me Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse picture too. But I was not interested. I am only interested in Mickey Mouse. For a few days I showed the picture to Mummy. Finally Mummy and daddy decided to bring me to Parkway Parade to look at Mickey Mouse. I watched Mickey Mouse from 1st floor. The show was at Basement 1. Mummy asked daddy to go basement 1 so that I can watch closer. But I did not understand Mummy's plan. I cried very loudly when daddy pulled me from railing. I held the railing tightly. Mummy coaxed until basement 1 but failed. When I heard the Mickey Mouse song I kept quiete. Mummy and daddy let me take pictures with Mickey Mouse. Mummy bought the Mickey doll which more than $20 so that I can take pictures with Mickey.

(Mummy da lama type.. tapi tak publish)

Thanks to Hilman..hmmpph! or ?

2007-11-19T23:37:00.000+08:00

Dear Son,

Mummy has been busy working. Sorry for not updating your blog. I do miss you. Sometimes I will miss you so much that I cried. But mummy got to do what mummy got to do... Since mummy stopped working, you've been very clingy to me. You are at my breast 70% of the time. Due to that I have breast milk again! I planned to stop breastfeeding when you are 2 years old.

Just a quick list of that what you can do by now.. you are 1 year 3months & 2 weeks..

Climb
Get down from bed and sofa
Bite until mummy's arm blue black
Baby talk (really long story)
Waves bye bye
Kiss
Slap
Punch
Grab
Kicks a ball
Ride on your kiddy rides by himself
Knock on the door
Deep interest in fixing things.. he have spanner, 2 hammer, screwdriver, nuts etc Recently he tried to fix a switched off fan kekekekek.. kesian sungguh-sungguh dia.
Sleep very late
Prone to head injury
Will shake his head when he refuse a food
He love fruits very much
Loves his daddy very much. Always want to menyelet.
His favourite word "Yaben!" whatever it means.
When bored he will say "jaln..jaln.. jaln" and stand near the gate.
Words he can say (I spell the way he pronounce it) : da bis, some more, mamam, mainean, eva (my maid), nyenyek, dad, atouk, nak, nyaman
When Hilman in the stroller and finish eating his biscuit.. he will raise his hand signaling he wants more biscuit.
Learning how to put on socks & shoes.
Musically inclined. Plays drum & bonggo well
He likes to jump in the swimming pool.
He immitates very fast.
He knows how to switch on & off the TV and fan.
He have a new sweetheart which is his Atok. He loves his atok very much. Will stop doing anything and run after his atok.
Now he is tall and handsome. 12.5kg 85 cm
Only wants daddy or atok to feed him bottled milk.
He chooses his own toy.
He chose his new shoe. He chose blue shoe and excitedly try to put on himself.
He can unplug anything.
Likes to dance
Likes to feed people
He likes spin cracker so much.. mummy & daddy always try to restrict him from taking too much.

continue later..daaa

Mummy!!!!

2007-11-14T00:19:00.000+08:00

Hey All...

Guess what?!! Mummy forgot which email to use to login blogger.com My dear mummy has been too busy with work. Pity mummy. Usually she arrived at 9pm, rush her dinner and breastfeed me till I fall asleep. But now I am happy. Mummy no longer at that place anymore. The working hours to long and they are taking mummy away from me. Mummy plans to be a trainer again. Hopefully training companies will give mummy classes to teach so that she don't have to work full time anymore.

I've gone through a lot lately. I fell down too many times and hit my head. Actually this is part of the reason why mummy decided to work part time again. I've been through skull x-ray.. the mean big machine and I went for EEG... the big man pun tapes on my head and after the procedure I cried so loudly because he remove the tape from my long hair. Hmmmmm but I enjoyed the EEG sessions because I get to play a lot of toys and musical instruments. The kind Aunty who can sings very well, said that I am a natural drummer. The truth is Atuk taught me how to play the drum hehehehehe. I have a Bongo in my toy bag. Ohhh my results for EEG.. I am NORMAL... Alhamdulillah. Mummy has been very nervous about the EEG. Now she feels happy that I am fine.

By the way Atuk and Nenek stay with me now. Everybody are happy that they are living with us. Atuk and Nenek always entertain me and they help to take care of me when mummy is not at home or busy. Hari Raya was fine. I think we didn't go visiting that much because mummy was busy working.

I miss everybody here. There aren't much photo because our digital camera is spoilt. Only video function is working. Mummy is uploading some videos at you tube. You are welcome to watch me. I have grown up. I use size 6 shoes, 12kg and about 85cm. I can run and march.

Yesterday I bit mummy till her arm is swollen. It is a big patch. I went to Marina Square with mummy and daddy after the appointment at KKH. We had fun. Mummy so relaxed and daddy took leave just to be with us. Thanks daddy.

Hugs Hugs All....

One after another...

2007-08-25T08:23:00.000+08:00

Why all these happened? You knocked your head against dining table, you trip and your upper lips were cut, your 3 fingers bled and one of the nails chipped and lastly cpu fell on to your toes. All incidents happened within a week. Your grandmother was at our house since morning. I request she came over to look after you. She said you are indeed very hyperactive. No grandchild of hers is like you. You are the special one. With all the accidents, I decided to ask your grandparents to stay with us. I just want to work peacefully for our family. Mummy feels very upset about a few issues. But still mummy keeps it in my heart. I can voice out my anger but something worst may happen. For now I will try to keep calm. A quiet person is not always in the loosing end. Whatever decisions I take will be for your own good. I'll try my best in whatever I do for you my son. You are my strength to carry on with my life. *hugs*

Mischief: Biscuit

2007-08-19T23:48:00.000+08:00

Dear Son,

Sometimes I wonder if you ever get tired playing. Seems like you played whole day without any rest. While I was having coffee and bread for dinner you were walking around the house and heading towards my bedroom. I tried to distract you by giving one of your biscuit container. Later you want to the blue container. I let you have it knowing that both container were tightly sealed. You walk around the house with both containers and finally you sat down and play with the containers. I heard the banging sound and you were observing the container. Out of sudden I notice you were very quiet. I know you were up to something. I look at you and I saw you sitting on the floor. I feel funny but I assured myself that you were just playing with the containers. I finished my coffee and on the way to the kitchen I saw all the biscuits is all over the floor. You managed to open the blue container. I was shocked and I told our maid to keep quiet. I want to get a video of the mess you did. You can check out the video at www.atiah.multiply.com I will upload it in youtube too. I took the video of you messing the floor and you were so engrossed that you didn't realised I caught you red handed!

Later I taught you how to salam. I held your hand and move my hand towards your mouth. The third time we practise it you wanted to bite my finger! Your 7th teeth is growing. Maybe you feel uncomfortable at gum area.

I love your mischiefs. I love for who you are and what you are. I love your smile, your laughter and I love you with all my heart.

*Hugs Fa'iz Hilman*

Am a big boy

2007-08-17T17:57:00.000+08:00

Hello all.. I am 1 year old already. I can do and say new things. Can you see my pic and my girlfriend? She is new in my class. I like to look at her and I always crawl and walk after her. She is so cute.
This is Aunty Noorlina. She gave me a book and a barney balloon. Thank you aunty..*hugs* Daddy and I fetched mummy nearby the mrt station. When I saw mummy holding a balloon, I eargerly reached out my arms. Mummy said "Hilman more eager about the balloon than seeing mummy?!" hehehehehe Mummy can't believe it I react that way. At home mummy gave me the book which Aunty Noorlina bought for me. Mummy and daddy surprised I know how to put the puzzles together. I like the book so much because mummy will make funny sounds when reading the book.
This is me coming back from 7 eleven. Whenever mummy buys bread I will want to hold bread. I will hold the loaf of bread from 7 eleven to my house. There was one incident where another took a small piece of bread from me. Mummy took out one big piece to give it to her. I cried loudly. At first mummy thought I am not comfortable with the toddler's maid but actually I was angry mummy gave the toddler a piece of my bread. While I was crying loudly, mummy put me on my stroller and she let me hold the loaf of bread. Immediately I kept quiet and hold the bread tightly until I am in my house. Mummy told daddy I don't know how to share yet or maybe I love bread too much. Anyway, today mummy bought top one white bread to make sardine roll and california raisins bread for me. Some people said I am just like mummy.. prefer to eat bread rather than rice.

Did I tell you that I can walk steadily? I like to selet-selet around the house. Mummy taught me how to use the spoon. It is fun! I always try it on my own. And I still say 'apa je' whenever I disagree. Well that's me. -end-

Fa'iz Hilman's 1st Birthday 5 August 2007

2007-08-07T11:11:00.000+08:00

My 1st Birthday cakes
August 5th 2007

The car birthday cake was bought by my Aunty Hawa to celebrate at Bedok and mummy bought Taz birthday cake to celebrate at Woodlands. Thanks all for the cakes and gifts.

Alhamdulillah the busy days are over. Mummy had a lot of things to do and a lot of hearts to take care of. Many people wants to celebrate my birthday. Mummy got her own plans but can't be carried out because we have another big occassion. It's okay mummy, you can carry out your plans when I am big enough to join the fun. Now I can only see but cannot play with other kids. And we can also invite abg Raqin, abg Uwais, Kakak Zaara, Kakak Kamilia, Kakak atikah, abg Abid and more friends. I was blur with all the singing and wishes. I heard so many people wishing me Happy birthday, so many people singing for me, even mummy has been singing to me birthday songs since Thursday. Mummy want me to get used to the song. Mummy even joked with daddy "Hilman don't like people to speak loudly. Seems like we have to ask people to whisper to him the birthday song instead of singing loudly." hahahhahahaha It was funny but actually mummy was very worried. She was worried that I will cry when people sing for me the birthday song. What la mummy?! I am 12mths old.. am a big boy! Everything turns out well for me and mummy but for daddy.. kesian daddy busy helping out at the wedding. {Hugs daddy}

2nd August 2007

We went to look at fishes at Chua Chu Kang area. We went to a few fish farms. Mummy took at few pictures and videos. You can check it out at my you tube and mummy's multiply. After the koi adventure and the bollywood adventure we went to buy gifts for my twin cousins. In the evening we went to buy snacks for Saturday mini birthday at Woodlands and mummy bought ingredients for lasagne for Bedok birthday celebration. We went home and in the evening daddy went to work. After daddy left, mummy wrap my cousins gift. Mummy slept at 4am that night. Mummy prepare the goodies bag for my birthday and did the bouquet arrangement for my Uncle.

3rd August 2007

Mummy cooked 2 huge trays of lasagne and broccoli soup. After cooking we went to Aunty Ita house to help to prepare for the wedding. At about 7.30pm we left Woodlands and went to Bedok to celebrate my birthday. We had fun! My cake was very nice. I hear people singing and I don't understand a thing. You can see my blur look in the birthday song video in Youtube. All I know I enjoyed playing with my twin cousins. They have a lot of cars. Mummy bought a race track for their birthday. They love it so much especially abang Bazlee. I had fun playing with their cars and blocks. Uncle Adam was there too to celebrate with us.

4th August 2007
Early in the morning mummy cooked lepat pisang to bring to Woodland. After that mummy quickly get ready and we went to lot 1 to collect my birthday cake and we continued our journey to Woodland. After maghrib atok read some doa for me, sang the birthday song, cut the cake and the marharban group takes over. We left Woodland at about 11pm.

5th August 2007
Daddy left early to go to Bukit Batok. Mummy, me and bibik left later and we went to Woodland on our own. I wore the baju kurung. I think I look handsome. :) We watched the nikah and the rest of the day we hang out at Woodland. We left woodland at about 8pm.

6th August 2007
Mummy, daddy and myself woke up late. We were very tired. We woke up about 9.54am and the doctors' appointment is at 10.30am. Mummy woke daddy up to get ready to send me for my 1 year old vaccination and check up. The doctor said I am doing great. My milestones are very impressive. I can point using my finger to show what I want. I can even complaint to mummy about anybody. I will yak yak yak and point to the person am complaining about. I was cool at the clinic. Happily looking around and playing. I sat in the doctors room and let him check me. Mummy hold me tight and the doctor tickle my left thigh (actually the doctor wants to jab me). It was not painful at all. When I was laughing out of sudden the doctor jab my right thigh. UWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it was so painful! I cried for a few seconds only. Mummy carried to keep me calm. Doctor said I can stop taking baby food. I can eat adult food. Yeayyy!!! Mummy let me eat Mc Donalds apple slices, a little bit of unsalted fries, one chicken nugget and an apple juice. Yumm yummm While I was eating I heard a song with a very nice beat. I began to dance to my heart content. :)

My ability and experience for the past 12 months.

I can dance.
I babble more vowels.
I can say a few words- apple, fishes, tak, apa, blum (belum), flower (fl..), ladybird (l...dy..ird), bird (bert), babababa, ma'am, yes, yayaya and few other baby talk.
I can walk more steps on my own.
I can twist and turn my body until my stroller strap loosen by itself.
Many people said I am hyperactive. Even a mother whose son is very hyperactive said that I am more active than his son hmmpphhh!
I can put shapes in the sorter.
I can put object in a container.
I can close some container on my own.
I can read books on my own.
I can point out apple & fishes.
I keep quiet when I disagree with mummy and daddy. I will say yes when I agree.
I can take off my own pants no matter how tight it is.
I know how to sneak very well.
I know how to act blur very well especially when I did something wrong.
If I get hurt due to my own fault, I will not cry. I will keep quiete.
When anybody make me angry, I will pull their hair.
I show affection by biting people.
In my 12months life, mummy beat my hand once for eating paper. I didn't cry after mummy explain to me.
In my 12 months life, daddy accidentally smack my face because I bite him. It happened 1 or 2 days ago. His first reaction when he was in pain was to smack me. I didn't cry after daddy explain to me.
In my 12 months life, my major accident was to put my finger on the fan. Luckily it was just a cut.
In my 12 months life, mummy major panicked about me was twice. When I cried loudly when the doctor in hospital try to put a drip on me and also when some spirit disturb me at night that I refuse to stop crying.
I will keep quiet and listen attentively to the azan.
I know how to prevent from getting caught. If I want to go to my room I will crawl quietly. If mummy calls for me, crawl back to her and smile. If she calls for me and after that she walks away, I will continue crawling to my destination. If daddy doing something and I want to play with his things, I will take his things quietly and go to corner where he cannot see me.
I like to eat paper.
I will take anything beyond my reach at the shopping centre.
Last and not least...I still droolssssss......

The list can go on... to many things to type. In short my first 12 months is a very Happy Life and I am one Happy Baby!

Mummy has uploaded some video in you tube and multiply. So feel free to watch! I will continue later when mummy not to busy. Ta Ta...

I did it!

2007-07-21T13:36:00.000+08:00

Yes I did it! I turned my parents living room into my play room! Part of the living room hehehehhe..

More videos..
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=luftiah

Miss me?

2007-07-20T15:47:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=luftiah

Hi all...

Miss me? Mummy has been busy working and attending to me. Mummy has no time to update my blog till now. Mummy has not been lucky about switching her career. Seems like she is going to remain in the training line. I am 11 months old already. In a few weeks time I will be 1 year old. Mummy so excited about my birthday but seems like we can't do much because there is a family event which falls on my birthday. Mummy feels sad about this but I know mummy will think of something for us. Even a simple one will do. As long as I have a picture to look at to remember my 1 year old birthday. The first must always be the best and the rest of my life will be better.

I've been doing a lot of things for the past few weeks. Above are some of my pictures and video link. I took pictures with my new friend Taz. Taz is also mummy's favourite. Mummy got his t-shirt, hat and soft toy. I love it too and I love to bite it's nose!

As for my update.. now I can eat more solid food, I can walk 3 or 4 steps, I bite professionally, I can say "YES!" confidently when I want something, I know how to pretend to cry, I want to try any food mummy and daddy eats, I babble a lot, I clap my hand when I feel like it, I can do the twinkle twinkle little star action, I explore more areas in the house, in the shopping centre I will grab anything within reach and I will cry when mummy or daddy leave for work and me being left alone with bibik.

Well that's my update at the moment. Bye!

Why Hilman?

2007-06-21T23:31:00.000+08:00

Dear Hilman,

Since mummy started working you had changed a lot. Mummy feels very sad about this. It is used to be so easy to feed you and to put you to sleep. For the past few days mummy has been at home and I notice the changes in you. When you see mummy you refuse to eat, drink milk and you refused to sleep. Most of the time I have to be out of your sight so that the maid can feed you and put you to sleep. Mummy thought you've been difficult because you want mummy to feed you. But when I tried to feed you, things get worst. Why sweety? I am worried about your health.

What are you trying to tell me Hilman? I know you miss me when I am away at work but we have no choice. Whenever I am at home I always try my best to spend time with you. I always rush home to be with you. I put you as my first priority eventhough I have dozens of things to do. Most of my friends told me it is normal. Kids want more attention. I believe I've given you a lot of attention. I don't mind if you want me to be by your side all the time but at least please drink your milk, eat your food and sleep well. You not wanting to eat, drink milk and sleep makes me feel I have to be away from home more often. From you lips I can see that you are getting dehydrate. We've been giving you some Pedialyte but you still need your milk and food. Hilman .. mummy love you very much. Please help mummy. Please help mummy not to be too difficult when mummy is at home.

Love you Hilman...

10months Fa'iz Hilman's development & Hilman and the grass

2007-06-18T02:28:00.001+08:00

Hey Sweety,

You are 10mths and almost 2 weeks old. You are walking with support. Now you can push the chairs without the help of the walker. Lately you love to push the walker around the house. You love to bite. I need to make you stop this habit. A few days ago, I gave you a Thai orange. I gave it to you and you instantly bite it. You gave a loud cry. The maid quickly wash your mouth and face. I asked her to give you Pedialyte. Since then you are more careful with what you bite. I gave you the orange again and you refused to take it. Smart boy! Since then I notice that you are more careful. Before you bite anything you will look at the thing, touch it and observe it. You will start with a small bite and you will bite more if you feel it is safe. Alhamdulillah, you still like to read. You love to explore and not afraid to explore. Today we discovered you love tomatoes. Your 5th and 6th teeth will be fully visible soon. You kept on sucking and playing with your front teeth. You love to talk. You can go on babababa, mamamma, burrrr, urghhh, muaaahhhh all day long. Great news .. you don't have to go for any follow up check up at KKH skin centre anymore. Am so happy for you.

"Your eyes is bigger." Pinching Doraemon's nose. You shaked the Doraemon until it almost drop.

You can't eat the candy but you can touch it.

You love to suck your toes. When you are on your stroller you always pull your socks and suck it. Mummy and daddy immediately bought for a shoe at Suntec hoping that you will stop sucking your socks. But instead you kept on pulling your shoe and bite it!

Maid struggling with Hilman. Hilman wants to go after the swan at Botanic Gardens.

Look mummy I can walk!

Happy Hilman on the mat. His reaction before he touched the grass.

"What was that?" His reaction after touching the grass.

"Ughhh.. am stuck on the mat! I don't want to touch grass."

Video of Hilman accidentally touch the grass.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amCMaSvqWDA

So what is the fuss about grass? Hilman pengeli!! Anything furry he hates it. Above pictures and video is about Hilman and the grass. We were at Botanic Gardens. Hilman try his best not to touch the grass. He will balance himself when he was about to fall and he will not let his hands land on the grass. Hilman also don't like touching the rambutan, grass and anything with long fur. Hilman did not crawl beyond the picnic mat. He is only willing to walk on the grass and making sure he will not fall.

Other development about Hilman, he has changed since I started working. When Mummy at home he will be clingy to the extend he refused milk, food and sleep. Hilman just want to play with mummy. I worried about this but I can't do anything about it. I always hide when it's time for milk, food and sleep. The maid will help me with these tasks. Everyday when mummy at home, mummy belongs to Hilman. I can't do anything else but be with him. I will keep on explaining that I have to work for our family. Daddy also notice that you seek more attention. Mummy will try my best to give all my attention my son.. mummy stop here for now.

Hugs and kisses for my only child.. Fa'iz Hilman

Happy Father's Day

2007-06-18T01:45:00.000+08:00

Dear son,

Today we celebrated Father's Day. This year is the first time we celebrated Father's Day and Mother's Day. In the morning mummy felt sudden stress to do something for daddy. On Saturday, daddy requested burger to celebrate Father's Day. He wants a thick pattie and all the add ons. This morning mummy went to Limbang to look for the burgers but not available. Mummy went to the wet market to buy a few things needed for our maid to cook. After that I went to Lot 1 to hunt a simple gift for daddy. I wanted an engraved keychain. I thought of engraving your picture but it takes one week to do it. I have to find an alternative. The Kodak's shop assistant suggested doing a personalized frame but I felt it is a bad idea. I decided on badges. It was cool! It takes about 1.5 hours for the badges to be ready. I went to Popular to buy a paper to make it into a card and I search for an idea on how to make the gift unique. Finally this is what daddy gets...

Mummy is missing when daddy wakes up. I know he assumes I hunt for his gift. When I called home, daddy answered the call and I act blur. I told him I searched for bugger patties for hours. Later I called daddy again and asked him what he wants for his gift. He said no need. I put down the phone and smiled by myself while walking in the middle of Lot 1. When I reached home he saw me carrying a lot of ntuc bags. He continued watching tv and I quietly set his gift on the dining table. I placed sparkling white grape juice, penguin soft toy, a rolled card and the badges I placed in the can. I didn't tell daddy about the gift. I continued doing other things like putting away the groceries and feeding you lunch. When daddy realised the gifts he squeezed my shoulder and I am sure he is smiling. Don't know why I still want to act blur hahahahaha. Daddy don't know how to open the can. He pretended not interested in the content of the can. I kept cool as if I don't care whether he opens it or not. Later he lets you play with the can and you bite of the label "Happy Father's Day". Daddy opened the can with a can opened and he was surprised to see the badges as he never expected it! *Daddy sedih kan mummy act as if it's not Father's day? LOL*

Cute Right?

Burger Feast! Mummy's late lunch. Daddy's second lunch hehehe

That's how Father's Day goes. Happy Father's Day Daddy!

Love,
Mummy

2007-06-05T23:12:00.000+08:00

At 10 months I have 4 teeth!!! Yeayyyyyyy~~~~~~~

View from my window...(mummy got nothing to write)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tHGdKJKpEs

guilty..

2007-06-02T08:56:00.000+08:00

Dear Son,

Mummy feel so guilty leaving you at home and mummy goes to work. I find it difficult to work late too. My work mates have to go overseas to conduct training. I pray hard that I don't have to go out station. Whenever I see anything for babies, I tend to buy for you. I bought it out of guilt. I know I work to help our family and for you future, but I just can't help feeling guilty. Maybe when everything is okay, I will part time again so that I can attend to you often.

Yesterday I just apply for one day leave in August! That is 2 months away. My manager almost reject it because Monday is a busy day. I tried to change your doctor's appointment but I can't. I got to ask daddy to help. Daddy might send you alone to the clinic if I can't get my leave. My leave is approved but if I have to conduct training, I have to cancel my leave.

Only God knows how I feel. At work mummy always very busy. Mummy have no friend to talk to etc.. no kakis.. I am on my own. But it is better that way actually .. not much dispute will happen. But the work exam and work load is too much. I just feel I can't cope especially when there is family event. I really hope I can juggle. I hope people around me understand my situation. I have to pass all the exams in order for me to keep my job. I really pray hard hoping I will not have any problems that will affect my performance at work. Please please forgive me for going to work. Please love me even when I am not around. I love you my son Fa'iz Hilman

Mummy@work : Hilman@home

2007-05-27T16:01:00.000+08:00

8 months old photos

9 months old photo

Dear Hilman,

Mummy has been working for a week. Alhamdulillah everything is fine. Mummy reached home at 8pm daily. You only get to see me for about 2 hours in a day. You still sleep with me at night and I still wake up in the middle of the night to feed you. Insya-Allah I will carry on sleeping with you every night till you are big enough to sleep on your own. To me being with you is the most important thing in my daily life. At the moment mummy only have day classes and exams to complete. I will have night classes, weekend classes and also conduct training in other countries. I hope I don't have to do that. I can't bear to leave you for a few days. During my first day at work, I almost cried when I look at your pic in your blog. But I tried to control my tears when daddy get aggitated that I am being sensitive and missing you. When mummy is away at work, we have a maid to help to look after you. Alhamdulillah she is a hardworking lady.

I believe everything is destined by Allah. I got a job on Wednesday and in the afternoon I went to Hyperlink website to look for a maid. I like your bibik Eva once I look at her face. I called up and the agency said Eva might not be available. Half an hour later I received a call saying that I can have Eva if I pay deposit on Wednesday. I rushed to Ming Arcade with you. We paid deposit and Eva came to our house on Saturday. Without Elaine from Hyperlink help we could not have a maid so soon. Thanks Elaine!

On Sunday mummy broke down. I am not sure if you will be well taken care of. I called Aunty Hawa and I cried. She rushed from Bedok to our house. She was shocked because I never behave this way. I was worried if you did not get enough milk, diaper changed, hurt yourself like knocking your head, falling etc and I am very worried if you pick anything and put it inside your mouth. Mummy still sms daddy or call him to check if everything is okay. I still remind them to change your diaper and give you milk. I also call Eva to check on everything. But I can't do that often. When I have training, I am not allowed to use the phone. Now you have a lot of rashes around you neck and chin. You have eczema and very sensitive skin and I have been extra careful in taking care your skin. What I predicted came true.. you will have rashes after a week mummy start work. I hope the rashes will go off soon. It is really a terrible rash you are having now.

Now mummy very stressed up. I have to take 5 exams to keep my job and another 5 tasks to get increment. I know I am supposed to be studying instead of typing this blog but I need a break. When I asked daddy if you miss me, he will tell me that you are fine. But I overheard he told someone that on my first day of work you kept on looking for me. Everyday I look forward to go home, I look forward for weekends and public holiday to spend time with you and I also look forward to go to work to make your future more secure. I love you very much my son. I do feel guilty leaving you at home in someone's else care but I have no choice. This is the life of a Singaporean. Whenever I felt guilty, I will buy for you a toy or anything you like to compasate the time we have lost.

Something interesting happened on Friday. I saw sea water being sucked up to the clouds. According to the news it happened twice a year. The picture below is taken using one of my colleague's handphone.

Oh yes! You have 2 teeth! 2 more coming up.. you are a grown up baby. Mummy got to study..love u my son.

Hugx

Mummy

Mummy's first Mother's Day

2007-05-17T20:18:00.000+08:00

Dear Fa'iz Hilman,

Thank you for the wonderful card and flowers. I would to thank daddy too for helping you make the card and buy the flowers. I would say this is one of the best gift I ever had because it is done by you and daddy. I always appreciate handmade things.

Early in the morning on Mother's Day daddy brought you out. I thought it was a normal routine that you and daddy buys newspaper at a nearby shop. Both of you were away longer than usual. I didn't call daddy because I know he likes to read newspaper downstairs or at nearby coffeeshop. When both of you are back, I was getting ready to send you to tumble tots. I saw daddy meddling with some papers and he looked so serious. I did not want to intrude. I let him be.. (also takut kena marah hehehehe).

When I am ready, I get out of my room and daddy quickly wish me Happy Mother's Day. I was shocked. I smiled and actually getting sentimental :P Then I saw the flowers and card on the table. I picked it up and look at the card. It was handmade and it was very nice. Finally I have your handprint.. thanks to daddy. I read the wonderful words and I almost cried (sentimental lagik...) I thanked daddy and told him that I really love it and appreciate it. To avoid being teased by daddy..I pretend to laugh. Daddy always teased me when I am sentimental :P

I really love this purple flower. I find it very beautiful. Whenever I eat at the dining table I will admire this flower.
Hilman this is your handprint at 9months 2weeks.

The bouquet and card.
The Mother's Day wish.
Your pic comes with the card.

Hilman looks as if he is living in a fish tank heheheheh

I have not been blogging for awhile because I've been busy with finding a job, going for interviews, daddy busy with his test, daddy busy with work and we have a few family events we had to attend. There will be some changes in our lives. Mummy will start work on 21st May 2007. I have to go to work to improve our family income. I am really sorry that I have to let a maid to take care of you. But I have no choice. Mummy also feels that I am not suitable to be a homemaker. Mummy never do housework at all before getting married. So being a homemaker really gives me a lot of stress. Luckily after I have you in my life, I feel happier and have less stress. Mummy always hug you and talk to you about happy things when I am sad or stressed up. You are the motivator for me to live this life. Another reason I have to work is that I want to save up money for your education and also your grandfather going to retire soon. I believe he will need more help for his daily needs. And hopefully by going to work I will have myself confidence back and lead a happy life. I did a lot of praying to Allah swt before taking this big step. I asked him to show me the path and at the same time I put in a lot of effort in changing our life. I leave everything to Him to decide. All the changes will not happen without His blessings. I find that everything falls in place nicely. I got a job on Wednesday and surf the net to look for a maid. At the first look I feel comfortable with the maid. I called up and she said the maid may not be available for me and offered a different maid. I was upset. Later she calls again saying that she can let me have a maid if I can place a deposit today. I rushed to Ming Arcade with you. All settled and we can have the maid soon. Next week daddy will take care of you. Daddy will be at home with you during the day. I will try to come back from work as soon as I can.

Mummy's job is 5 days a week but there are days where I am required to work in the evenings and weekend. Mummy also have to take a few exams for salary increment. Pray for mummy's success okay. I have to stop now because you have woken up from your sleep.

Love you my dear son.

Hilman the Darth Vader?

2007-05-03T22:40:00.000+08:00

Daddy created this video. He suppose to be studying but this is what he did.

On 5th of May I will be 9 months old. What I have achieved...

1. I can walk with some support.
2. I am trying to walk without any support.
3. I can put stick inside holes.
4. I can crawl on a plank.
5. I put everything in my mouth.
6. I can eat more variety of rice.
7. I can say baba, abaaa, mak, bapak, abruuuu
8. I can eat biscuits by myself.
9. I can sit up for a long time.
10. I can bite mummy until she shout.
11. I can kiss daddy so many times.
12. I can shout very loudly until mummy can see my veins on my neck!
13. I always crawl after my friends in class and try to grab their legs.
14. I will miss mummy and daddy when they are away.

These are the few things that I can think of.. am sure I can do more things. Mummy have not been updating because she is busy looking after me. I love to climb and run around the house with my walker.

That's all folks.. good night.

Mummy's Birthday

2007-03-30T23:35:00.000+08:00

Dear Hilman,

We had fun on my birthday.Let's recap. In the morning you woke me up at about 7.30am. You drank Isomil and after that I taught you how to sing Birthday song. We had fun singing and tickling each other. While playing with you mummy kept on waiting for daddy to wake up. I am waiting for him to wish me Happy Birthday. But he slept till 10.30am! Mummy put you beside daddy and you wake him up as always hehehehehe

When the clock strikes 12am I received birthday wishes from Hannah and Hizan. In the morning I received birthday wishes from Nora @ 6.55am, Noorlina @7.45am, Kak Ita, Nordiana, Normanja, Rohana, Adam, Noraini, Nadiah, Rohana and Edelia.

Daddy wished my Happy Birthday and asked me what's my plan. I told him I didn't plan anything. I want him to plan my day. For years he complained it is difficult to surprise me because I want to plan ahead all the time. Daddy suggested that we stayed at home. I decided to be selfish. I said no way! I am excited for my birthday because it will be the first time I will be celebrating with my son Fa'iz Hilman. I will not let anything spoil my day. I even blurt out that I will not do anything. Daddy have to do ironing himself. After I said that I shut up. I don't why I said that. I have no intentions at all. I wanted to iron his clothes after I feed Hilman with cereal. While feeding I saw daddy iron his own pants. Macam kesian pun ada. Macam sedih gitu tengok. I asked if he can manage. I told him I'll iron for him later. He said it's okay. In my heart still asking myself why did I ask him to iron his own clothes.

We are ready and set to enjoy myself. While waiting for cab, I asked daddy where are we going. He said Vivo City. I told the taxi driver where we are going without questioning daddy. On the way to Vivo City I told daddy I want to eat. Hungry. Daddy so sweet. He surprised me. He remembered that I've been wanting to try out Fig and Olive for a long time. I think since before I was pregnant. While waiting for food, daddy kept on teasing me that there will be people singing etc. I was panic but I act cool as always hehehehe We had brownie as my birthday cake. I really want you to taste my birthday cake. Daddy was reluctant. But he obliged because he knows I really want you to taste it. So daddy just let you taste the whipped cream.

After Fig and Olive, we walked around aimlessly. Finally we saw the cinema. Daddy suggested to catch a movie. I was worried that you will be scared in the dark or get frightened. I asked the staff if we can bring in a baby. Well.. the answer is YES.. Hilman can watch a movie! Yipeeee hehehe I was excited and nervous. Daddy bought the tickets and daddy carried you in the cinema. You were so curious. You look at the big screen without a blink. You behaved well. In fact you were only frightened when you saw shrek shots. You cried twice. Can you guess why you cried twice? Well.. you cried twice because of daddy! Daddy laughed too loud that he gave you a shock!

After the movie, daddy bought for you a inflatable pool and colourful balls and he bought for me a pair of Amethyst earring as a gift. We were tired and we decided to go home after dinner.

Thanks daddy for my birthday.. I really enjoy it. Just the 3 of us! Love you Hilman..

Hugs

Mummy

Am awake again...

2007-03-26T05:00:00.000+08:00

Hilman,

Mummy awake again. You woke up at 3am and I breastfed you till 4am. You still seem to be hungry so I decided to mix for you Isomil. After feeding, you fell asleep. I went to the washroom and you cried loudly. Daddy tried to pat you to sleep but it didn't work. Daddy decided to sleep at the next room. Now just you and me. I tried to put you to sleep but you just did not get your spot. After 10mins after reading Al Fateha and Selawat for you, you finally found your spot. Now you are asleep again. I find that your voice is getting louder. And it also seems like you have been hungry at about 4am for the past 3 days. I think it's time to increase your food intake.

It's 5.06am. I want to get some sleep. Who knows daddy have some plans for me. If possible I want to go out early in the morning so that I can have a personal birthday celebration just with you and daddy.

Night baby.. hugs.. mummy...

Eve of Mummy's birthday

2007-03-25T23:53:00.000+08:00

Dear Son,

It is 7 mins to midnight. It will be 26th March 2007. You are fast asleep beside me. Daddy is fast asleep too. Today for the first time I went to a wedding invitation with you alone. Daddy was to sick to go with us. I was upset but what can I do. It was fun at the wedding. Eventhough I missed meeting some of your uncles because we were late at least I get to meet 2 of them. Yeah.. my family is a busy family. It's hard for us to get together. Just now one of them want to meet up with us again next month for tahlil. But the date not confirmed yet because we got to check with 2 other uncles.

When we were home, mummy woke daddy up and asked him to get ready so that we can go to a&e at SGH. Doctor said daddy was fine. He just coughed too much that he strain his chest. But I did not hear him cough. I only heard him trying to remove his phelgm in the toilet. Maybe I was too busy to notice. After the check up we went to Swensens at Orchard Road. Daddy really want to eat there. I asked him if he was okay.. he answered "I also need to eat what!" Anyway, it was fun watching you eat fries for first time. You were also busy looking at a baby seated next to us. You are a very friendly baby.

Now it's midnight. Your cousin Hannah called me up to wish Happy Birthday and followed by sms "Aunty thea 'happy b'day 2 u!" and another sms from Aunty Izan wishing me "Selamat Hari Tua!" It so sweet of them.

This is the first time I did not asked daddy what's his plan for my birthday. He always complained that it is difficult to surprise me because I always plan everything in advance and I always want to know what's going on. So this this year I decided not to ask.

Seems like this year I fuss a lot about my birthday. Maybe with your presence makes it so special to me. Or maybe mummy da buang tebiat pasal da 33! hahahahaha

Earlier today I was so stressed up that I cried. Maybe I was devastated that I want to go out quickly to catch up with my siblings but you were crying and makes things difficult for me. I tried to calm you down but failed. Out of sudden I broke down and cried. Instead you laughed happily when I cried. Mummy look very funny when mummy crying is it? At that time daddy was in the room sleeping.. I guess. True enough, I did not get to meet everybody. As always there's always something to disappoint me when I look forward to something. I always tell myself not to look forward for anything but it is hard not to do so.

Anyway son, this is part of my life. I love you darling. Big smooch for my son, Fa'iz Hilman.

Dedicated to my mummy

2007-03-25T04:43:00.000+08:00

Dear Fa'iz Hilman,

It's 4.44am. Mummy did not get to sleep yet. I just cannot fall asleep. Maybe am too excited for my birthday. I'll be celebrating my birthday for the first time with you. Since my mummy passed away I began to realise a lot of things. I realised how much she loves me and I began to look at birthdays at a different perspective. It maybe too late for me as your nanny (ur grandma would like her grandchildren call her nanny) not around anymore. But I still look forward to it.

26 March 1974 was the day I was born. I was told that once nanny arrived at the hospital, she immediately gave birth to me within minutes. Eventhough it was a fast delivery but I am sure she have to do some pushing. A painful one. She gave birth to me by normal delivery. She must be very happy when she gave birth to me. When I was young people always tease me saying that I am anak manja. At that point of time I didn't think so. I thought my brother Adam and my sister are the anak manja. I am 8 years apart with your Uncle Adam. After she passed away, people began to tell how much she loves me. She would wait for me to come back from school o work. She will walk around the void deck to wait for me. She also placed a chair in front of our house to sit and wait for me to come back from school. In the past I did not realised she waited for me. I did not know she will ask the shopkeeper at our void deck if they seen me. I feel so ashamed for not realising what inconvenience and worry I have caused her. I hope her soul is taken care by Almighty Allah. She passed away at Mecca after she performed her haj. She was buried there. I remembered that on the day she passed away I received white roses from a friend. When I received those roses I remembered her. But I did not suspect anything. Luckily I called the hotel she's staying so many times before she passed away. She told me she was sick. But at that time I called often because I was concerned about my father. My father was very ill at that time and my mummy was very healthy. I never suspected she would leave the world so soon. She passed away when I was 23 years old. That was 10 years ago. These are Allah's decision. They can take us away anytime HE wants to.

I am thankful to my mummy for thanking care of me with lots of love. She always make sure that I will have enough of everything. She loves to kiss my armpit eventhough I' was in my 20's. Nothing can repay my mummy. I am proud that all my sister in laws that my mummy is the best Mother in law in the world. They still miss her till now. I wonder if I can be a good mother in law in future. She bought for her daughter in laws gifts, cook their favourite dish when they visit and she never blames her daughter in laws for anything.

I remembered there's one incident before she left for haj, out of sudden she asked my dad "What if Atiah don't have a place to stay?" I was puzzled. My dad responded "She surely have a place to stay." I still do not understand why out of sudden my mother asked the question to my dad.

At little bit of my mummy, she got married after studying at Ipoh lane madrasah. At that time she studied similar to A level standard. She can read the Quran very well and won prizes for Quran recital competition. She loves to wear dresses at home, she well groomed and dressed up very well; love to eat ciku; a good cook especially her curry and mee rebus; always say kesian; she did not talk much; her most common sentence she utter daily "Atiiii belajar"; she loves to pin up her hair japanese style with huge stylish hair pins, she looked young; many people thought that she's my dad youngest wife, when told them she is our mother outsider will be very shocked; she's very pretty that many men were interested in her when she was young and even married; some nights I would hold her till I fall I asleep; she loves to give me a big kiss; I can still remember her smell; she is very updated with fashion and make up, I love to play with her cosmetics; she has a very sweet smile; she never go anywhere further than geylang by herself; she don't care about money and give away her money easily .. the list can really go on....

To me my birthday is to remember the sacrifice she had gone through for me especially when she gave birth to me. Nothing can repay her kindness and love. I love you mummy.

Al Fateha for the late Hajjah Fatimah binte Mohamed Nawi.

apa eh?

2007-03-24T00:12:00.000+08:00

I went for follow up check up at PCC @KKH. Doctor said I am fine. Mummy very happy to hear about it. For breakfast, we ate at Komala Villas. Mummy and daddy love the food there. I saw someone have bigger eyes than me. He kept on smiling at everybody...

besarnya mata!

After the check up and Friday prayer, we went to Bottle Tree park at Yishun.

The Bottle Tree

I saw something which is very big. Mummy & daddy want me to take pictures with that thing. I find it not nice at all. The animal did not move. It just stay there. So boring.

apa ni? mummy save me!

Overall the place not too bad. Fishing is allowed on Saturdays and Sundays. I saw school boys played with the fishes at the pond near the entrance. Kesian fish kena bully.

I got one sad story to tell everybody... or should I say irritating story....

A few days ago Mummy and I went to meet Aunty Aini for lunch. After lunch we went to the park and everything was fine. It was a pleasant day actually. But this Aunty Aini very the irritating. Before she left our home, she disturb me by making a voice like a monster. I was so scared that I kept on crying. Mummy console me but Aunty Aini make that voice again. After she left I was still crying and mummy gave me her milk. I fell asleep till 9pm. All because of Aunty Aini. Aunty Aini one day I will bully you!

Bestnyer tido... Aunty Aini macam stroller model eh?

Aunty buat apa?

Kenapa aunty ketawa? hmmm ketawa aje la.. join the fun.. Aunty Aini banyak gigi.. nak satu boleh?

From the pictures I think you have an idea what I had done and gone through... oh yes a pic of me upon reaching my gym class...

yawn.. so sleepy ... bye all nite nite

Days at the hospital

2007-03-10T17:31:00.000+08:00

On Wednesday I was down with fever. Mummy finds that the thermometer doesn't give accurate reading. I think because my ears is still too small for it. Mummy check my temperature by using her lips. She kissed my forehead to checked if my temperature increased. Mummy and daddy brought me to a hospital at about 11pm. Mummy told the doctor that I had fever, I vomit and spitting more often and I pass motion 4 times per day. Mummy also told the doctor that I had been spitting and vomit since I was born. Doctor wants me to be warded because she wants to check if my intestines is okay. Mummy stayed with me that night. We did not get our Ward A yet because the hospital is fully booked. We were placed at B2 for one night. I've been crying and crying almost whole night and I only want mummy to carry me. I cannot sleep with the noisy cries of other babies and the sound of plastic from other parents. But no choice... the other babies are sick too. When doctor put a drip on me in a room, mummy was asked to wait outside. I cried so loud until Mummy cried. Mummy called daddy to gain her strength. While mummy was talking to daddyover the phone, the doctor called mummy in to console me. Mummy kept on telling me that everything is for my own good. That night the nurses was great.

The next morning other the nurses were on duty. They were horrible. They were very slow in doing things. They even forgotten to take necessary things while putting on tapes on me halfway. Of course I was screaming because I am very uncomfortable. Mummy broke down to see me suffer and cry so much. But I have no choice but to scream because the nurses are very slow and forgetful. Another nurse talked to mummy and said that mummy have to be strong. If mummy break down I can feel it too. I will feel insecure. Mummy actually cried because mummy cannot take it to see me being handled by lousy nurses. Mummy regret bringing me to the hospital at that time.

Pictures taken while I was at B2 class. Do you know I can open those tapes myself? I did that so many times that the nurses have to put tapes on both hands over and over again.

At about 5pm I was transferred to ward A. Arghhh the room and toilet is dirtier than ward B2 class! Mummy had to asked the cleaner to empty the rubish bin. But lucky thing the nurses in that ward were very nice. They are smarter too. They put bandage on both hands after the put some tapes. The nurse also cover the tube on my hand so that I won't scratch my face and eyes with it. Now mummy did not regret bringing me to that hospital. Mummy heard so many stories about the hospital that she tried her best to avoid it. But this time no choice because this is the only hospital for boys at my age. Mummy did not sleep for 48 hours already. Mummy depends on coffee to boost her up. I cannot drink and eat anything and not even mummy's milk. I cannot drink for almost 12 hours.

After pestering the nurses to ask the doctor if mummy can give me her milk to calm me down, they doctor finally came and check on me. The doctor said I can have mummy's milk and glucose water. Immediately mummy gave her milk to me. I felt so happy that I fell asleep while sucking. In the evening the doctor came to see me again. She said that my drip can be removed. I didn't cry when the nurses remove the needle from me. The nurses from ward A were very skillful and smart. I like them a lot. Below picture of me playing with the wheel at Dermatologist clinic and picture a of me biting barney's tail while mummy and daddy having breakfast at Mc Donalds.

Can you see my happy faces? I was happy because the doctor allowed me to go home. Yey!!! I did did not vomit since I was on drip and drank soya formula. Mummy quickly packed our things and daddy help to change me in my rompers. After I wear the rompers, I understand that I can go home and I gave daddy a big smile and let him take my photo. We left the hospital at about 5pm.

When I reached home I was so happy. Too happy that I vomit again because I cannot sit still! Mummy let me catch some sleep. I really miss my bed or should I say my parents bed. hehehehehhe I refused to wake up when mummy woke me up to eat. Mummy asked daddy to wake me up too. But I just make some noise and go back to sleep. Eventually daddy managed to wake me up by carrying me. Mummy must feed me food. Doctor told her that soya formula is not enough for me because I am 7 months old. I need to eat food twice a day.

After eating, daddy tried to make me occupied by playing Peek a Boo vcd. I was so happy to watch the video. I missed it so much. Daddy told mummy that I was talking while watching the video. I was just asking my friends in the box how are they and I told them that I miss them so much. Well that's my adventure in the hospital. I do not wish to go there again. But I would like to thank the nurses in Ward A. They are very skillful and smart people.

Daddy caught me blogging!

2007-03-07T14:03:00.000+08:00

Hilman in action....

da penat laa.. bye

The contest

2007-03-05T01:39:00.000+08:00

We were not selected to the finals. But it was a fun experience. There was about 100 babies. There are a number of cute baby girls too. I was admiring and smiling as some baby girls and finally I decided to hold them. Daddy quickly stop me from touching other babies. I just want to shake their hands and wish them good luck daddy... All the babies stand quietly on stage. I am the only one who was jumping around. I really don't know how to stand still. After jumping I almost cried and daddy quickly carried me.

Daddy was tricked by mummy. Mummy prepared for me and daddy blue and white stripe shirt. When we were at the stage, mummy told daddy she cannot climb up the stage staircase as it was very high. Daddy got no choice but to do it. Actually we did not use that high staircase. There was another staircase at the back of the stage heheheheh Daddy kena tricked. Mummy too excited. Instead of taking video of me on stage, she took video of me entering and exiting the stage. Doh! Mummy! What la... anyway it's okay.. she manage to take some pictures of me on stage.

After the contest we went for lunch dinner at burger kings. Mummy too tired to control me. Mummy just kept quiet when daddy let me play with his drinks. This was my first time touching the paper cup and straw.

Daddy enjoyed himself. He feels he is doing an important thing with his son on stage. I bet he is proud of me! You can look at our pictures and videos at you tube , photoalbum and multiply.

Alhamdulillah...

2007-02-28T19:55:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah daddy recovered. He need not be warded. The doctor did offered to be warded to rest but he pity mummy to take care of Hilman alone. We as a family have been sick pretty often lately. We are not sure why. I hope everything will be fine soon. Mummy in the process of tough decision making and planning. All depends on God's willing.

Ups and Downs

2007-02-28T10:41:00.000+08:00

Dear Hilman,

Mummy really stressed up now. Daddy at the hospital observation ward. He had migraine since last night. The pain remains the same. I had migraine too but it subsides. Now I am having the migraine again. Mummy feeling anxious. Wish I am with daddy right now. I wonder how is he. I sms and called daddy but he have not responded. I hope nothing serious. We have been unwell as a family. You had high fever 40 deg cel last 3 weeks, after that so many check up for your skin, after mummy had to go for stomach scan-i can see the pics of my intestines and it will not be good news because it had spread to my other parts of intestines.... we'll see what happens and now daddy not well. I hope mummy and daddy can live long enough to bring you up. I've always been thinking what will happen if both mummy and daddy not well. Eventhough we have set aside for you a number of investments and financial stuff but I believe you still need us emotionally and physically. But I believe there must be a reason why Allah give us these tests. Due to that I've made my final decision which I will propose to daddy. It's for your future. I hope daddy will agree to my decision this time. It's tough for us but we want to give the best for you. I just feel like crying but I can't cry.. I just don't know why.

In having so much challenges.. we have some good news.. read below.. I extract only part of it...

Dear Atiah,

Congratulations! Your child, Fa'iz Hilman Bin Lufti, has been short-listed for the semi-finals of the BabyCare Baby Idol Contest – Enchanting Eyes!

Please take note of the following reporting details:
Date: 2 March 2007 (Friday)
Venue: Suntec Singapore Hall 401 (stage area)
Time of contest: 4.30pm

That's the good news! I've submit the pic on the left of this website. You wearing the turqoise cap. We see how it goes.. if daddy condition worsen.. we have to let it go....

Don't know why since yesterday I felt yesterday was our last family outing together. Maybe mummy getting emotional or too worried that both mummy and daddy are sick. What will happen to you if anything goes wrong? Will the guardian I've decided willing to take care of you? Seems like I have to act fast. I will do it soon.. I will not wait any longer....

Yesterday we went to Botanical Gardens after mummy's check up. It was spontaneous. We didn't plan it. Daddy bought a mat at a nearby shop and off we go...

Hilman looking at fishes.

Daddy feeding Hilman.

Daddy looks cute in the blue hat! hahahahaha

Gymbabes.. I like~~~~

2007-02-25T21:08:00.000+08:00

Today I attended my trial Gymbabes lesson at Tumble Tots. Mummy has been excited about today's class for weeks. This morning mummy was nervous and worried that I will cry and refuse to join the class. Usually I don't want strangers to hold me. In the morning, mummy gets everything ready while I kept on playing with daddy. Daddy just came back from night shift. He was sleepy but I refuse to let him sleep and I refuse to sleep too. Mummy planned to leave home at 12pm but later mummy decided to leave at 12.40pm instead. Mummy pity daddy for not getting enough rest. Mummy knows daddy very tired. Mummy want to let daddy take a short nap. Mummy wants daddy to follow because mummy worry I would cry. I manja with mummy. I always drag my wailing when mummy try to calm me down. If daddy calm me down, I will immediately stop crying. Sometimes when stopped crying, I will cry again when I see mummy. I just want her to calm me down too.

When we arrived at the centre, I saw so many people.There were 9 babies including myself. Next week there will 8 babies only beacuse one of them can go to walking class. All babies came with their parents and grandparents. I came with Mummy and daddy. We were seated next to the trainer.

This is me seated on mummy's lap. I am still blur and just looking at the trainer talking. When we joined the class, they were about to sing songs with actions. I am blur at first. I stiffen my hand and leg so that mummy cannot move them heheheheheh After awhile I began to enjoy it. I smiled and laughed. I let mummy move my hands and legs while singing. But sometimes i purposely stiffen my hands and leg so that mummy cannot move them again! hahahahahaha

After singing session, I get to play toys for babies. I can roll and climb on it. The trainer taught mummy and daddy how to teach me to crawl properly. In future lessons, I will learn how to fall properly too! You can watch my video learning how to crawl here http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=luftiah

When it's time for me to learn how to crawl, mummy felt tired. Daddy takes over to help me to crawl. Mummy encouraged me to crawl by showing to me barney picture on my washcloth. I had fun. Yesterday my grandmother taught me how to stick out my tongue. Today I kept on doing it while crawling hehehehehe I wet the play area with my drooling. slurppp~~~

After the playing session, it's the singing session again. We sang a song and a goodbye song. I made friends with a few babies. There was one baby boy likes to smile at me and want to hold me. He wants to be my friend. I also like him. I smiled at him back before he went home. Another baby kept on smiling at mummy. I am not jealous :P

This is my name tag. The trainer paste it on my back. Now daddy paste it on my stroller. Mummy feels it is making the stroller untidy. But daddy loves it that way. Now wherever I go, everybody knows my name. Just now when we were at Lot 1, a beautiful teenage girl read my name out loud hehehehehe am so popular!

This sticker is given to me at the end of the lesson. Daddy paste it on my stroller too. Mummy think it's the boys thing to paste sticker everywhere. Mummy let it be. But deep in her heart, she knows daddy happy I receive my first sticker for doing well in class.

After the lesson, the trainer explained to mummy and daddy and to other people about the course. Daddy not sure to enrol me or not. Mummy thinks the course is not bad. Mummy decided to enrol me in gymbabes because she noticed that I am enjoying myself. I kept on smiling and laughing during the session. While waiting for our turn to register, I played with a toy. Usually I can only crawl forward 2 to 3 steps only. Now I can crawl forward more than 8 steps. Mummy and daddy so shocked that I know how to crawl on my own just after 10mins of learning how to crawl properly.

Me pushing the cylinder shaped object and crawling to the next red area. I was waiting for mummy settling the registration. We did not take much pictures because mummy and daddy busy helping me to learn. It was a fun day! All the trainers were very helpful.

This my picture sleeping while mummy and daddy walk from Chao Chu Kang stadium to Lot 1 for lunch. I was so sleepy and tired. This morning I woke up at 7am and did not sleep until I finish my lesson.

While walking beside a condominium, daddy saw this lizard. The lizard was stuck! Daddy very alert. He can see every detail. That is a special gift about my daddy.

This is me on the bed sleeping again. Today I did not eat rice. I am too tired to eat. Mummy can only feed me milk while I am sleeping. I will only wake up for a few minutes to look around. After that I fall asleep again. A few minutes ago, while mummy was typing for me this entry, I was crawling in my sleep! hehehehehe I had too much fun today.. am just to tired to do anything. Nite Nite all

Faces of 6month 2 weeks old Fa'iz Hilman

2007-02-21T19:53:00.000+08:00

Harlowww all... can you see my pictures? Most of the time my eyes will be wide open and my mouth will be slightly apart. Only the last picture I have the mata kuyu look. I have been sick for a few weeks. At first high fever after that block nose and cough. Now I am still better but not completely well yet. I drool a lot maybe because I am teething. Now mummy having running nose. I think she got it from me because she used a device to suck out my mucus! eee yucksss thanks mummy. Feel better after that. I'll be going to KKH tomorrow to check my skin problem. A PD confirmed that I have uneven skin tones and it may not disappear. It's okay.. look doesn't matter. As long as I am healthy.

Mummy did for me a memory box. Mummy kept my first shoe, bib, pants, rompers etc. Mummy will give it to me when I grow up.

Mummy also did for me a toy chest. Mummy taught me how to keep my toys. It was fun hehehee

Daddy did a magic video of me. Daddy too free krhekhrkehrkeh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYW2ubSOGAQ

A date with Aunty Lin

2007-02-12T21:43:00.001+08:00

Mummy brought me along to meet Aunty Lin. Everybody is working but these 2 ladies enjoyed themselves eating and chatting. Too bad I don't know how to speak yet. If not I would have daddy for 'upah' to tell him what mummy and her friend talk about. hahahhahaha It has been a long time mummy meet her friends. Aunty Lin bought for me pyjamas. Very nice of her. I love it. Thank you. Will wear it after mummy wash it for me.

I know mummy much more happier after meeting Aunty Lin. Aunty Lin is mummy's blood sister. At least today mummy has a friend to talk to. Everyday mummy did not talk to anybody except for daddy and ME. Usually daddy will ask "How's Hilman?; Dah makan? Buat apa?" hehehehe Mummy will always say to daddy "u nak air apa?; jagakan hilman sekejap while i bla bla bla; tadi hilman bla bla bla" and mummy will say to me "Ya sayang...; mummy here...; give mummy 2 minutes;" and everyday mummy will sing and read books to me. Usually mummy will read to me at least 1 book per day. If I can still pay attention, mummy will read to me 2 books. She will read to me the circus book and animal book. And do you want to know something? Daddy never heard mummy sing since the day he got to know mummy. Even when I am around mummy always sing to me secretly. hahahahaha Daddy :P

I just realize mummy and Aunty Lin did not take pictures today. Maybe they are busy talking till they forgot to take pictures. I stop here for now.. I want to sleep. night night all.

Mummy needs to be well.

2007-02-05T22:03:00.000+08:00

Dear son,

Thanks for accompanying me to the hospital today. Today we went for a follow check up at SGH. Daddy came along with us too. Thanks daddy for accompanying me. I feel I need you to know what is happening to mummy. Hopefully you will take care of your health when you grow up and don't end up like mummy. Recently mummy always fall sick. It is confirmed that mummy experiencing stomach ulcer. I will have to see a specialist in April. According to doctors mummy experience stomach ucler because of stress and irregular meals. I experienced terrible pain in October 2006 and January 2007. Most doctors told me that the medicaton the GP gave me is one of the best. But it seems like it is not helping me at all. Therefore I have no choice but to go to A&E. In January 2007, the doctor wants me to be hospitalised. Mummy refused. I can't bear to be away from you. So far I have not felt much pain. I thought I am well.

To my dismay the doctor found out that there is something not right on my right tummy. He said it is my intestine area. I have to go for a womb scan in 2 weeks time. In one month time I have to go for a follow up check up and to get the result. In April I have to see a specialist for my stomach ulcer. Next 2 weeks is my appointment to scan my womb. The doctor just want to make sure my c-sect is okay.

First time in my life I have this urge to be well. I don't want to be sick. I want to be healthy so that I can take care of you. I want to be with you always. I am shocked with the doctor's findings. When I am out of the doctor's room, I just want to hug you. You are my strength. I love you very much my son. I you and daddy's love and support. You are my strength and daddy is my comfort. I need both of you in my life.

Today you are 6 months old. You can..
1. Crawl backwards
2. Grab anything within your reach
3. You talk a lot
4. You like to eat fruits
5. You love to suck your toe and fingers
6. You love to go out, sometimes you are cranky at home but once you are out of the house you turn out to be a cheerful baby!
7. You love to hear me sing 'tepuk amai-amai'. Eventhough when I sing it very softly or just pretend to sing.. you still laugh and you will know what song I am singing. And you know what.. daddy never hear me sing in his life! hhahahahaha

Son, you are everything to me. You light up my life.

Love
Mummy

Love mummy & daddy

2007-02-03T20:42:00.001+08:00

ahh woooo.. uhhh urgghhh.. I can make these sounds. In fact I can make a lot of sounds. Mummy and daddy said I membebel when I am not happy. hehehehe Today I stayed at home since daddy got to go to work. Mummy wanted to bring me to Kakak Atikah birthday party but I am very cranky today. I have rashes around my chin area. The medicine doctor gave me makes me drowsy. Maybe we will meet Kakak Atikah when Aunty Hazelee and Aunty Husna free. Mummy really look forward for the party as she thought this will be my first birthday party invitation. :(

Yesterday I went out with my parents. Mummy wanted to have fun with me but we end up eating nasi ayam at two places. All because of daddy! In the morning daddy wanted to eat nasi ayam stall at Clementi area. A few of his friend recommended that stall. The stall has been around for a month and I believe this is one of the many branches in Singapore. Mummy find it nice. Daddy think other wise. Daddy still not satisfied. After running some errands, daddy bring us to Tanglin Halt to eat NASI AYAM AGAIN! Mummy don't find it nice. Mummy have enough of chicken rice. She never eaten chicken rice so many times in a day! Mummy freak out when daddy asked her if she wants to go to Bugis to eat nasi ayam. That is his favourite nasi ayam stall. Mummy was speechless and hoping daddy was joking. As for me, I slept most of the time and thank goodness I cannot eat nasi ayam yet!

A few days ago we visited my grandparents. They are my daddy's parents. I was okay and didn't cry. Before going to their place, mummy kept on telling me not to cry and my grandparents love me very much. At night daddy wants to go for a movie with mummy. Mummy was half hearted. Daddy insist that I will be okay with my grandparents. Mummy left and still unsure. Mummy worried that I will cry and look for her and daddy. Mummy kept on sms my uncle to ask if I was okay. My parents watched apocalypto. There are a few scene where the children we left behind because their parents were killed or being captured as slaves. Mummy cried while watching. She feels sad leaving me at grandparents place.She feels as if the children in the movie is me crying. She really wanted to leave but she tried her best to control her feelings so that daddy can enjoy the movie.After the movie mummy and daddy rushed to grandparents place to pick me up. Mummy thought daddy was cool about leaving me behind. I was sleeping when they reached my grandparents place. Daddy kept on kissing me. hahahahah daddy miss me already. Both my parents love me so much that they find it difficult to leave me. Daddy told mummy that he is very sure that mummy will cry when I attend school in future. Mummy just smiled speechless.

My First Swim.

2007-01-29T21:43:00.000+08:00

Harlowww everyone...

Miss me? Have not been updating often because mummy always fall sick and daddy also busy with work and army thing. A lot of things I've gone through. Too many things to tell my mummy to type. I'll be 6 months old very soon. Now I can roll, crawl a few steps, can eat more things, drink more milk and the best of all I can put my toes in my mouth! Very comforting. But if mummy or daddy saw me doing it, they will pull my feet out of my mouth. Kacau aje! I also have a new trick. When I cried and daddy coaxed me I will keep quiet. After I keep quiet and if i see mummy.. I will cry again and want her to coax me. heheheheheh

Today we went swimming. Eventhough mummy still not well and daddy have a hectic schedule, they still find time to bring me for a swim. It was my first experience. Mummy and daddy too excited to bring me for a swim that they did not notice it was a windy day. They only realized that it was windy when they watch the video. If youtube can cope with the large file I will ask mummy to upload for me. For now all of you just imagine the fun I had. We swam for only 18mins. It was too cold. Mummy go to the baby pool first to check if it was clean and to check the temperature. Mummy told daddy the water was very cold. Daddy said swim for a short while and the suit I am wearing will protect me from feeling cold. The swimsuit is very thick. But feel comfortable. At first I cried. I was a bit sceptical. After that daddy coax me, I kept quiet and let daddy and mummy put my leg in the water. I cried for only 5 mins. I like to play with daddy while mummy hold me. Mummy and daddy taught me how to float. It was as if I am lying on my tummy. But I cried when I put my face down. I don't like to get my face wet. We tried a few times. Daddy showed me a trick. Daddy blow bubbles in the water and he also shoots water from his mouth. I tried to do it but instead I swallow the water. Mummy said I am too young for that trick. But I know daddy try to make me not afraid to let water touch my face. When I am turning blue, mummy quickly get the towel and wrap me. She hugged me tightly and a few minutes later changed me into my rompers. Mummy let me sit on my stroller and feed me pear puree. Mummy and daddy ate tuna sandwich and fried chicken. It was fun. Daddy bring me to the playground while mummy ate cheese o'ring. Mummy's favourite snack. After that we walk around chevron and played at the kids room. And that's how we end our day.

Night night all. I am tired. I slept whole day today and I want to sleep again. To look at our pictures, check out my photo album...

http://atiah.myphotoalbum.com

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=luftiah

Mummy don't know how to react.

2007-01-10T01:07:00.000+08:00

Fa'iz Hilman anak mummy!!!!!

Last night we went to pediatrician at Henry Park for your injections. We sat infront of the doctor's room while waiting for your turn. Mummy was talking to daddy when daddy noticed you were giggling by yourself. You were looking at the the kids in the doctor's room. You were laughing at them. It really seems like you were laughing at the 2 kids. Daddy said "Hilman ketawakan budak tu nak kena inject eh?" When it was your turn, you sat on the doctor's table and mummy holding you from the back. Out of sudden you cried. The doctor said you recognize him as Mr Syringe! hahahah We had a good laugh. Pandai ketawakan orang.. kan sekarang dia sendiri da kena! After the injections you cried for a minute and that's it. You continue laughing and playing with daddy.

Mummy was carrying you in the middle of the clinic's lobby while daddy makes some payment. Terkopak $509 for injections! What to do ... it's for your own good. You began to be cranky and cried. I tried to calm you down and walking in the middle of the clinic's lobby. You kept quiet and cried again. Out of sudden everybody in the clinic laughed out loud and look at you. I was puzzled. Even the most snobbish person in the clinic laughed. I look at one of the lady wondering what was so funny. The lady tried her best to tell me while laughing... she said "HE PRETEND TO CRY LA..." Everybody in the clinic knows you pretended to cry to make mummy have a difficult time. erghhhh geram pun ada ... kelakar pun ada... Where did you get this character? Mummy smiled and sit down and act blur. Mummy really don't know how to react. Macam malu pun ada kena trick by 5 months old baby.

There was another incident that I can recall at the moment. Mummy was busy doing housework. You were playing on the jumperoo. Out of sudden you cried and makes a lot of noise. Mummy approached you and check if there is anything wrong. You stopped crying when mummy attend to you. After that I continue with some housework. Out of sudden you cried again. I told you to give me 2 minutes while I put aways some stuff. When mummy came out of my room and rushed to attend to you, you were not crying. You did not notice that I can see you. You were happy playing and smiling at the colourful lights on the jumperoo. But once you noticed I am around you cried again. Cekik darah kan?!

Are you trying to bully mummy? Daddy also noticed your character. I hope this characted won't prolong. I always pray that you will be a good well behaved son and be a successful Muslim and individual in the future.. Aminnn

Hugs

Mummy

Just look at Fa'iz Hilman... cannot sit still! Look at his face... innocent or mischievous?

Happy New Year!

2007-01-02T00:23:00.000+08:00

Today is a public holiday. It is a New Year's day. It is the beginning of a new year. To me a New Year means I am getting older. I am going to turn 1 year old in 2007! Yipeeeee..... I wonder what can I do when I am 1 year old. Anyway... we'll see my progress. Today was a fun day. I saw a lot of old things. Daddy kept on asking me "Hilman do you like the Museum?" Today we visited the museum. A lot of people there and everyone was looking at old stuff. I wonder why they do that. Why they kept on admiring the old stuff and why do they keep some of it in showcases? If they want.. they can look at my first baby shoe. Mummy still keep it. It is already 3 months old baby shoe. We went with my 2 cousins, Kakak Hannah and Kakak Pu3. They love it too. Mummy was so happy to see them enjoying themselves.

After that daddy bring us for dinner at Rex Mckenzie. Mummy was disappointed with the food and especially with the service. Mummy was so fed up that mummy wants to go home. I also very cranky. Got one old lady kept on shouting. I think people at coffeeshop also never shout like that. When I was sleeping that lady shouted and I was shocked and cried. Why do they let these kind of people work there? I think they never heard of the Gems campaign... sigh.

Mummy been too busy to update. School holidays my cousins from mummy and daddy side always stay over or spend their day here. I will ask my mummy to update more photos when she is free. So kept on checking out my photo album and my you tube for updates. Pictures can tell a thousand stories. I no need ask mummy type so much okay? You see my picture okay?

Daddy also busy with work and this week he will be more busy with RT. So sad. But what to do. I also busy with my new toy. Daddy and mummy bought for me my Jumperoo. Mummy and daddy was contemplating on buying it because it is quite expensive. To help them decide, they let me play it at Kiddy Palace Marina Square. I love it so much that I don't want to stop playing. I kept on jumping toing..toing.. toing.. When I jump I can hear some music too. Mummy did thought of renting it instead of buying. But daddy said he prefer to buy so that I can play it until I cannot fit in the toy anymore. They decided to buy it for me. I have the Jumperoo for a month already. I am not tired of it yet. Mummy and daddy always let me play only for a few minutes and after that I have to do other activity. So far my days have never been boring. It so late now. I want to go to sleep. Have a nice day and don't forget to drink your milk daily and be strong boy like me!

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha 2006

2006-12-31T00:28:00.000+08:00

Assalamualaikum semua...

This is my first Aidiladha celebration.. I'll be going to nenek house and don't know where else.. mean while... enjoy your long weekend! Yipeeeeeeeeee...... psst... next week I'll be 5 months and mummy finally gave my blog a new look.. hehehehehehe

Yipeeee.. Fa'iz will be 5 months soon

2006-12-22T20:48:00.000+08:00

Dear son,

You'll be 5 months old soon. It's been very fruitful to see you grow up. Mummy in lazy mode to update blog. We've been busy going out and having your cousins coming over during the holidays. Your 3 bedok cousins and 4 of daddy's nephew and nieces spend some time at our place. They love to play with you, kiss you and all the children would like to carry you around.

A few days ago you surprised mummy and daddy again..

Incident 1:

You were sitting on my lap. Daddy was having a conversation with you. When daddy said "Mummy work okay?" You immediately shooked your head. We were shocked. We thought it was a coincidence. Daddy repeat the question twice and you shooked your head again. Daddy then said "Daddy work?" You just blinked your eyes and when daddy repeat his question again, you just look at him with no reaction. I am surprised you know how to respond to it. Mummy and daddy never teach you to do this. After that mummy explained that I will work when you go to childcare or else mummy will be bored at home. You kept quiet and look at another direction as if you don't want to have this conversation. Well we have another 13 months before you can go to childcare. We'll take our time to explain to you.

Incident 2:
Last night daddy was talking to you. I don't remember what daddy said. But out of sudden you said "I know" very clearly. Maybe mummy and daddy always say "I know" that's why you could say it.

We have lots of pictures to upload. I'll do it when my lazy mode is over.

Love
Mummy

Erkkk!!!!

2006-12-03T23:31:00.000+08:00

Dear Son,

Today you surprised mummy and daddy. This is the second time you made me surprised. This morning daddy wants to buy breakfast at a nearby coffeeshop. Daddy wants to bring you along and he puts you on the stroller. He gets you ready and when daddy about to push you, I asked daddy to go out of the house and pretend that he is not going to bring you along. Your face change when daddy closed the gate. Daddy said bye bye to you. Immediately you shouted and cried as loud as you can. krhekrhekrhkehrkehre Daddy panic and quickly go inside the house and push the stroller out. Mummy and daddy were shocked and had a good laugh. We realised that you like to go out. Daddy said you look confident sitting on the stroller and kept on observing people. You were happy that you get to go out with daddy.

I think I mentioned this in the earlier blog. You were jealous when you saw me carry another baby. You cried and you stop crying when I put the baby down. You will be 4 months in 2 days time. You already show your emotions very clearly. This is a learning process for mummy & daddy. I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Hugs
Mummy

A gift from Father Pear

2006-12-01T23:54:00.000+08:00

Dear Son,

It's been tough week for mummy. But then again life goes on. Daddy gave me a surprise gift. I was so happy and I almost in tears. I have to control it or else daddy will laugh and tease me. Daddy bought for me a pendant from Citigems. He chose it himself. This is the 3rd gift he chose himself. Usually when it comes to jewellery he insist we choose together. The gifts he suprised me and chose himself - Huge Hamtaro doll, Humongous Moshi Moru and for our 3rd wedding anniversary (21st June 2006) daddy bought for me a pendant. This is a belated anniversary gift. I hope I remembered all the surprises. If I don't daddy will kill me. Anyway thanks for Father Pear for the gift. I love it. I always love any gift he chose himself.

So what's Father Pear all about. Daddy calls you pear. He finds that your huge cheeks makes you look like a pear. When I was pregnant I ate a lot of Chinese pear. errrr... I don't think it's my fault.

Yesterday you started weaning. I thought I want to wait for you to turn 4 months. But from the internet and articles I read you already show signs that you are ready to eat. Anyway you will turn 4 months in 4 days. So I decided to go ahead. Yesterday you tried brown rice. You hate it. You spit everything out. Tried a few times but you refused to eat it. Finally you happily ate your medicine. hmmmm... maybe because it is sweet.

Today mummy and daddy bought Heinz rice cereal, golden vegetables and pear juice. You don't like to eat rice and golden vegetables by itself. You taste a bit and refuse the second spoon. We tried put a bit of rice and a bit of golden vegetables in one spoon. Yes! You ate it! You did not spit it out. After eating a a few spoon, you refused to eat. Instead you watched daddy eating fish and chips. It's not the time yet. You must learn to eat the basic food. When you refused to eat more, I stop feeding you. I did not force you to eat more. I let you have some diluted pear juice. You love the pear juice. You want more of it. I will give you some juice whenever you eat your rice. No rice no juice. hehehehe mummy sadist. Everything we bought is for 4 months and above babies. You need vitamin C to help iron to absorb in your body. You need to take both my son. Mummy been trying to find baby food which is certified Halal for 4 months and above babies. But we could only find one Chinese brand and the brown rice is mixed with ikan bilis. Daddy not comfortable with ikan bilis. So we check the ingredients for Heinz brand and it seems okay. Nestle is halal but it's for 6 months and above. As for your food I need to constantly check with daddy just in case you have sensitive skin like daddy's. Mummy and daddy will still food hunting for you. It's time for you to enjoy different textures and explore the world of food!

2 of the few gifts I received this year. The most precious gift is my son Fa'iz Hilman.

Thanks Father Pear! I love it!

Mummy love you all my heart my son. You will be 4 months soon.
At the moment you can ..

Wriggle around by yourself - When I turn around you will be somewhere else.
You know how to watch TV - I don't let you watch TV that much. I only let you watch Baby Einstein vcd.
You can respond when people talk to you - Hmmm even when people don't talk to you also you respond.
You can sit up when supported - It makes it difficult for me to carry you with the sling. You always want to sit up when I carry you.
You love to be fed using a spoon - When you were 2 months you refuse to drink water. We decided to let you drink water using a spoon and you love it.
You can pull anything you like
You can kick anything you like - You can really kick very high.
You feel jealous - We went to visit a relative who just gave birth to a baby boy. When mummy carry the baby you cried very loudly. When mummy put down the baby you kept quiet and want me to carry you. I was shocked that you can feel jealous at a young age.
You are friendly - You don't mind anybody carry you. As long as the person walk around and not sitting down.
You bully mummy and daddy - When daddy around you always make him carry you. With mummy, you always make sure I am beside you. But when your Aunty Eliza take care of you for 5 hours, you were independent.

At the moment these are the few things I can think of. My sleepy head not functioning well. Good night my love.

Kiss Kiss

Mummy

Pau!

2006-11-23T00:36:00.000+08:00

I just realized most of them wearing red hues.
Alamak! Muka mummy spoil!

Is my eyes as big as my frog eyes?
Hmmmm apa lagik nak meraba?
Wahhh.. can still see my pau! Tembam gak eh?
Manis anak-anak dara sengeh.

Kita lagik!
Tunggu apa eh? Aunty Lina mcm advertisement Darlie! Smile big-big!

Handsome & sweet & cute Raqin.
Daddy and Uncle Danial

Aunty Lina notty! Chet! I gumor on u baru tau!

Nothing much happened. We went to aunty manja's place for Hari Raya last Saturday. Today we went to Bukit Panjang Plaza and Lot 1. Mummy bought for me young Einstein vcd and daddy bought for me play mat and piano soft toy. Mummy is in tired mode. She too tired to type for me. She fell down while carrying me a few days ago. Lucky thing she reacts very fast. She saved me. She held my head high so that my head will not hit the floor. Yesterday I follow mummy and daddy go to the market. The sun was so hot and it takes 20 mins to walk from the market to my house. With all the things to push on the stroller. Mummy's abdomen a bit uncomfortable. Maybe because she pushed the stroller and the skin of 2 of her fingers peeling badly. Don't know what happened to my mummy. Daddy said mummy 'putri lilin'. Tak boleh kena panas sikit.

Mummy having problems uploading some photos. You can try to look at our photo album to look at it. I think she will also try put it up here also.

She also embeded a video here and upload it at our you tube. Mummy really ahhh.. after she look at the video then she realized I have big cheeks. All these while mummy look at what huh? *pinch mummy!* Now she's comparing my cheeks with kueh Pau! aiyooooo

Am stuck!

2006-11-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

Dear Fa'iz Hilman,

Alhamdulillah taking care of you is getting easier. You can now play on your own. Since you turned 3 months I let you drink water using a spoon. Now you enjoy drinking water session. You used to hate drinking plain water.

Mummy feeling very confused. Whatever decision I take will make me feel stranded. I am stuck. Whatever decision I take will affect you greatly. Daddy told me to go to work and he will stay at home to take care of you. I am fine with that but I will miss you so much. I know one day I have to let you go and be independent. I cherish every moment we spent time together. My plan is to send enroll you in a childcare when you are 12 or 18 months. Most childcare in our neighbourhood accept 18 months infants. There a childcare which accept 12 months infants but I am still considering the surrounding.

I wonder if I am a fussy person. Daddy feels I have too many rules. But all those are common sense and it is for your own good. I have been doing the do's and don'ts since young. I just want the best for you. I know I am not perfect too... arghhh I can't think straight. I am sure time will fly very quickly. Once you enrolled in childcare and things will be more settled. I am worried about your family values and discipline because mummy and daddy have different expectations. Constant comments from people making it more stressful for me. I am okay people call you dark skin baby. I am worried if people kept on saying you are fat. It may cause you to have low self. Having low self esteem will make you unhappy in life. Actually you are big frame with big bones. I know you going be an attractive boy when you grow up.

I am too sleepy. I will continue next time... love you my son

Hello...

2006-11-13T21:13:00.000+08:00

It has been a busy week. On 12 November 2006 mummy and daddy invite our relatives and friends for doa selamat and Hari Raya bash at our house. Almost 2oo people came to our house. But sad I did not see Kakak Atikah and Aunty Hazelee. I want Aunty Hazelee to show me her funny cute face hehehehe I am happy abang Raqin and abang Uwais came. They are very smart abang-abang. Maybe next year I can play with them. Yesterday I can only watch them play and eat. Daddy and mummy had fun. Daddy happy to see all his family, relatives and friends. Mummy very happy to see all the busy international atok-atok. My atok-atok always travel here and there. Hmmmm when I can talk, I am going to scold my mummy. How can she forget to take pictures and videos? She was too busy entertaining guests. Daddy also did not take pictures. Sigh.. anyway I may not remember the event since I am still a baby. Hopefully in a few years time we can have Hari Raya Bash again. There was a lot of food. Mummy ordered Nasi beriyani masak merah and mummy also cook spaghetti. Not much food wasted. Only dalcha have a lot of left over. It was a successful event.

Oh yes.. Aunty ana and Aunty Yanti and family came to my house on Saturday. It was fun to see kakak-kakak and abang-abang playing.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UU8AYn4EIKw

Last few weeks mummy thought want to take a candid video of me talking to daddy. Mummy saw me talking to sleeping daddy. But her to her surprised... just watch the video until the end. Concentrate on the video only. Do not turn left or right just look at the screen and have a good laugh. (Daddy..don't scold mummy okay.. she capture my cute action and you tried to surprise her and now she is saboiing you heheehehe)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7IM-lJlWLk

Did you have a good laugh? were you shocked? Mummy added some photos at photoalbum.. have fun! http://atiah.myphotoalbum.com/view_album.php?set_albumName=album17

Yey! Am 3 months old.

2006-11-07T01:24:00.000+08:00

Isk.. isk.. isk.. today got one uncle with sethescope poke both my thighs. It was very painful isk.. isk.. iskk... but me being a macho boy I only cried for awhile for the first jab. The second jab more painful. I cried slightly longer but when I am out of that uncle room, I stop crying already. When I am out of the room, a nurse gave me some sweet thing. Very nice. I am happy and willing to take in more. I think it is called rotating virus? That means I am rotating? heheehhe I think sounds like rotary virus. Two other vaccination sounds like cockle cockle and hyper something something.

Anyway enough of my painful encounter. I am big boy now. I am 6.625kg, height 63.5cm and head circumference 40.3cm. I was half asleep when I entered into the uncle's room. He picked me up and he talked to me. I pun apa lagi. I talk back. I talk to that uncle. Don't know if he understands me or not. I said 'gurguee goo erghhh gooo'. That uncle replied "How are you?" and so on. What la... how come I talked to him and he asked me questions.. sighhh

After that the nurse said I only felt a bit of pain but daddy will feel more pain... very painful in the pocket. Daddy paid $495 for my vaccination. What la! Pay so much to give me pain what for? isk.. isk... Better buy the helicopter toy that daddy want to play with me. More fun. The sweet thing makes me sleepy. I want to sleep some more. Tomorrow going Jalan Raya again. Wait more people will carry me here and there.. so syok! Okay la am tired already.. talking in
Singlish makes me feel like sotong. Nite nite to all my fans... love you.

My First Word

2006-11-05T23:20:00.000+08:00

Uncle... is my first word. Mummy and daddy surprised. But from where did I learn the word uncle? What is just a coincidence? Daddy ever accidentally called himself uncle while talking to me. Mummy gave him a good pinch.

Tomorrow will be my 3rd month vaccination. Tomorrow I will be 3 months old. Time flies. Mummy also will be getting her 2nd Hepatitis A & B injection. Daddy purposely asked mummy to have her vaccination also so that mummy will also feel pain like me. And then daddy no pain? Not fair!

My feaces still green. Mummy & daddy tried almost everything. We even tried pearls from Chinese medical hall. Today daddy bought Avent IQ sterilizer. Daddy did not buy when I was born because it is too expensive. But seems like no choice because I still poo poo in green.

I stop here. I want milk. Mummy.........................

Catz

2006-11-03T23:43:00.000+08:00

Dear Hilman,

We have not finish visiting. We still have a few more houses to go. Daddy enjoying Hari Raya this year. Relatives are happy to see you. Next week we will be doa selamat for you.

Today we went to one of Daddy's grandma place. Guess what is in the house?! TWO HUGE CATS. It is so much bigger than my friend's cat. This cat is just like any ordinary cat but the size is so huge. The cats are even bigger than you. I think the diameter of it's tail is the same diameter as your arm.

Mummy very very very afraid of cats. I remembered my friend told me to be brave because I need to protect you. Yes I was so scared the cat will jump on you. I think you will be squashed if the cats jump on you. I hugged you tightly. Protecting you. The cats kept on wanting to go near mummy. The cats can sense that mummy is very scared. I even put up my feet on the sofa. When grandma carry you, I was worried that the cats will go to grandma and the cats will harm you. I was so scared.

Now why mummy so scared of cats. I was told by my family that when I was very young, we have a few cats at home. One of the cats was very fierce. There was once I wanted to play with the cat. I was a baby at that time. I wanted to touch the cat's tail. The cat scratched my forehead till it's nail stuck at my forehead that I have to be rushed to the hospital. Till now I have the mark on my forehead. My dad was so upset. The next day my daddy put the cat at Kaki Bukit Primary School. At least there were canteen food to feed the cat. Another incident I saw a cat attack my sister's hand that she had to get stitches across her palm. Since then I was afraid of cats till now. It gave me bumps. Due to the incident I have to go through minor surgery to remove the cat's nail.

I tried not to be afraid of cats. But it's not the time yet. Maybe I have to go through some theraphy. But the cat I saw was very huge.

I stop here for now. You are awake and wants to play

Love
Mummy

My first Hari Raya

2006-10-26T06:18:00.000+08:00

Hari Raya 2006 is very special to my parents. It is their first time celebrating Hari Raya with their adorable son who is ME! kehrkehkrehrhe Yes! I celebrate Hari Raya for the first time. Mummy and daddy really make a big fuss out of it. When I go visiting people gave me envelope. Don't know what for... maybe for me to make origami. In many months time when I can talk I will ask mummy and daddy why they give envelope but not toys.

Hmmmm about mummy and daddy make a big fuss about this year's Hari Raya because they want to make it special for me. Eventhough I don't know anything or may not be able to remember but at least I can look at the photos. But you know what? Mummy and daddy too busy attending to my crankiness in most evenings, they forgot to take photos. Aiyahhh!!!!!!! They even forgot to take photos of me wearing baju kurung. Yes.. I have my first baju kurung. It is green in colour. My favourite colour. The colour is similar to the play gym Aunty Noorlina bought for me.

Before Hari Raya Mummy and especially daddy busy decorating my room. Very nice! Thanks daddy. You can see some photos of my room from mummy's photo album. Daddy even go Geylang one more time alone to look for a baju kurung for me. Wah total daddy go Geylang 3 times! He wants the exact colour like his baju kurung. But too bad there ain't any. There 2 options but too expensive. Cost about $50 per baby suit. When mummy and daddy go Geylang for the 2nd time, they settled for baju kurung which has the similar colour to daddy's. But still daddy prefers it to be the exact colour. On the eve of Hari Raya, Mummy and I went for a quick one hour shopping at Causeway Point. Mummy really shop very fast. Daddy was at work. Mummy manage to get whatever I need. She even get a bib and hat which have the same colour as daddy's baju kurung. Mummy cut a bit of daddy's baju kurung cloth as sample hehehehe. Daddy don't mind mummy cut his expensive baju kurung for the love of his son hehehehehe. Later after we came back mummy did a few housework. Later about midnight while daddy and I were sleeping mummy prepare the ingredients for her to cook rendang.

On Hari Raya day, I woke up mummy at about 5 am. Mummy too tired and asked daddy to take care of me. Finally mummy woke up at 6am and started cooking rendang and ayam masak merah. Too bad I woke up. Daddy got to stop do housework and carry me while mummy prepare more ingredients. When everything in the wok, mummy feed me and carry me while daddy continued to do more housework. Finally mummy finish cooking at 12pm. This rendang must be special. Mummy got to cook from 6am to 12pm just to get the correct colour for the rendang. I must taste it when I grow up. I pity my parents. They always got to carry me until they forgot to put the Hari Raya cookies on the table. They only did it on the second day.

On the first day after mummy finish cooking and feeding me, we get ready to go to Uncle Kip house. This year we got to go Uncle Kip house because this Sunday he is going to USA to work. I met my cousin and they lost a lot of weight because of fasting month. By the way daddy also lost some weight. When he carry me I cannot feel his belly anymore hehehe Shhhh.. don't tell him or else daddy will perasan for many weeks. :P After that we went to grandma house and went to another 2 grandma house. I really have a lot of grandparents from daddy's side.

At night at about 11.40pm. I and mummy home alone. Daddy went out for awhile. When we came back at 10pm, mummy can smell kemeyan at the door. I sawan and I cried so loud. Mummy panicked and desperate. Mummy read ayat Kursi and I cried even louder. Finally out of desperation mummy called grandpa. Grandpa said Allahuakbar and mummy at the same time said "Ya Allah please help my son" with tears rolling on her cheeks. I immediately kept quiet and wants mummy for comfort. Soon my grandparents came and grandpa did some prayers for me. Daddy came back and everybody go back to sleep.

On the second day of Hari Raya, mummy not in the mood to go out. She is worried I have sawan again. Furthermore daddy works night shift for 2 days. Finally mummy just go out to visit 2 houses at Jurong. When we came back mummy did lots of prayers to protect me.

Today mummy prefer to stay at home. She is still worried about me. We will continue visiting tomorrow.

My pix & video
http://atiah.myphotoalbum.com/albums.php

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=luftiah

membebel!

2006-10-17T00:25:00.000+08:00

My love Fa'iz Hilman,

You are sleeping beside me. Mummy too tired to sleep. Today we went to IMM to settle some Tupperware stuff. We did not go there for ages. I think since I was 4 or 5 months pregnant. When daddy saw IMM, daddy muka jakon habis hehehehe. He was shocked. IMM extend to another building and have more shops. He said "Ini IMM ke bukan?" hehehehe ohh hubby ohh daddy krhekrhekrhe We settle some orders and I manage to buy a few stuffs. You wer cranky. In the cab you drank all the milk in the bottle. I know you wanted more but I don't want to overfeed you.

One hour later you were cranky again. When I carry you tried your best to reach for my breast. I finally let daddy bottle feed you. You only drank a little. Later you cranky again.

Whenever I carry you, you will start talking and telling me something. In other words macam membebel! hehehehehe When you make those noises I will respond back "okay, sorry, ya la, kecian, sayang Hilman etc" I will entertain whatever you are rambling and finally you will keep quiet. It happened many times but today it is so obvious.

At home daddy always talk to you. And you will respond to him. Anak mummy baru 9 weeks dah pandai membebel? Aniaya tul! hehehehe nanti bila dah tau cakap bukan mummy membebel kat Hilman but instead Hilman membebel kat mummy. hmmm ikut sapa eh? daddy eh? hehehehe

Today I felt that your legs getting chubbier. I feel like biting it right now. But you are sleeping. I cannot disturb you. As usual you kept on opening your eyes checking if I am beside you. hmm sleep pulak. nite nite love you..

Hugz
Mummy

Daddy.. Hubby.. Thank you

2006-10-14T20:37:00.000+08:00

Dear Fa'iz,

Daddy took leave for 2 days just to take care of both of us. Mummy have not been this sick for so long. C-sect pain is not as painful as what I am experiencing right now. Erghhh dia punya pedih semacam.. telan makanan pun rasa pedih. But good news is that I don't have anymore blood when I have bowel movement. On Thursday morning, we went to a nearby GP. On Friday I am still in pain. In fact the pain getting worst. I do feel the pain while typing right now. By 3pm I can't take it anymore. You and daddy send me to SGH. It is confirmed I have my gastric ulcer again. The last time I had it was when I was 14 years old. Took medication for 2 years and there's no difference and finally took air gamat for 2 months (yucks!!!) and Alhamdulillah everything is healed. All the ulcers at duedonal cap were healed. I have to see the stomach doctor in January 2007. But I don't want to go if I am okay.

Daddy has been very helpful in doing housework. He clean the dishes, do the laundry and bathe you. All these makes him so tired. He falls asleep very easily and snore very loudly heheheeheh. Kecian sungguh. At night when you cry I still attend to you. But in the morning when I feel daddy have at about 6 hours of sleep I will wake him up to attend to your cries. I am okay with 4 hours of sleep. I think I am used to it since young. Today daddy goes to work. I think you miss him because you are cranky and kept on looking at places where daddy always rest or play with you.

Today I broke the family rule. Not to talk about problems before daddy go to work. But I have no choice. I've been keeping everything to myself till it stress me up. Lucky daddy did not get angry. Instead he listens and quiet supportive. Alhamdulillah.. with your presence in changed mummy and daddy. It changed us for the better. Both of us want to be the best parent you could ever have. We will try our best to raise you. One of the topic we talked is about my pectation in disciplining you. I feel you should know about it too. I expect that when I am disciplining you, I would not want daddy to give excuses on your behalf. I don't want daddy to back you up. If I let him do that, you will feel you can get away with anything when daddy is around. I told daddy if he have an excuse for you or in otherwords he wants to defend you, he should talk to me in private. If I am wrong, I am not ashamed to apologize. It doesn't mean that a person who apologize is a weak person. I admit when I am wrong. So I will try my best to be fair. I hope I will not turn out to be a mother who always defend her son blindly and will not be a mother who always blames her son. If I am wrong, I will accept your views. I will listen. I will not brush it off just because you are younger than me. Insya-Allah...

That's it for now..

Love
Mummy

Ohhh..my baby.. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!

2006-10-12T23:47:00.000+08:00

Dear baby,

Last night I was touched by your gestures. Mummy was very sick last night. Mummy's temperature was between 39.8 and 40.5 degrees celcius. There was also blood in mummy's poop. I was feeling very cold and sick. Daddy gave me 2 panadols but it doesn't help. Mummy thought after I put you to sleep I will go to the 24 hours clinic myself. After daddy fast asleep, mummy still breastfeeding you. Everytime you fall asleep you will open your eyes and look at me. I know you are very sleepy but I can sense that you were just checking on me. I am not sure why you kept on checking on me. You did it till 5am. Is it because you afraid I will go out and leave you at home or is it you are worried that I am very sick? Finally at 5.30am you get too tired and cranky. I am too sick to carry you so I woke daddy up. Daddy very sleepy too. Maybe because he works morning shift and we've been entertaining guests for a few days. I forced daddy to wake up and he took care of you till next morning.

In the morning you and daddy sent me to the clinic. We checked the rashes on your chin too. The doctor diagnosed me with stomach flu virus and haemorrhoid. Till now mummy still feel the pain in my stomach. When were at home and after I took the medication, 3 of us fell asleep. Yes daddy slept again! Now you just fell asleep. I am beside you typing. I know I can't leave you alone because I know you will cry when you don't see me beside you.

My dear son.. if you did not sleep well because you took care of your sick mummy last night.... I would like to thank you. And I love you very much. I also notice that whoever makes me sad, you wouldn't want that person to carry you. You will cry and want me to be with you. Maybe you can feel I am sad and you want to be by my side. I never tell anyone about this. Your grandma ever told me out of the blue when I was still in confinement that you might be able to feel when I am sad. It is the mother and child bonding. Maybe it is the truth in her beliefs.

I am in pain now. I need to rest and be by your side. Take care and I love you.

Hugs
Mummy

Fa'iz Hilman buat kelakar for the first time hehehee

2006-10-07T23:14:00.000+08:00

Hilman,

Tadi mummy switch on laptop near my bed. Wallpaper kat laptop gambar daddy. Besar gambar daddy dukung Hilman. Not long after that Hilman wakes up and cry for attention. Mummy place kain bedung on the bed and position you. While bedung Hilman you said ai! ai! ai! a few times. Macam panggil orang. Mummy tengok at the direction you are looking at. Rupanya Hilman panggil daddy. You did not know that is a picture. Ni mesti nak minta dukung la ni. Mummy dah tak leh tahan ketawa. Lepas mummy bedung Hilman mummy pun kasi Hilman susu. I immediately sms daddy to tell him what happened. I looked at you macam kesian. But also worry takut you merajuk dengan daddy. Mummy notice Hilman dah pandai merajuk kalau daddy tak dukung. Tapi tak apa la.. you are still young and daddy masih kuat nak dukung Hilman. That's all for today.

Bye my love.

Yours always
Mummy

2 mths

2006-10-05T15:50:00.000+08:00

Dear Fa'iz Hilman,

Today you are 2 mths old. It's a learning experience to be a parent and it is very fulfilling. Alhamdulillah today your poop is brown and I notice since yesterday you don't 'meneran' that much eventhoug there's no output. To see you 'meneran' everyday and nothing comes out worries me. We went to 2 GP and we almost want to bring you to see peadetrician tmrw. It has been weeks your poop is green in colour. We make so many changes to ensure you are healthy. We change your bottle, your sterilizing tablet and formula so many times.

Now you recognize mummy and daddy face. You understand the word Bismillaahirrohmaanirohiim, kaki straight, sekejap, susu and one more word mummy lupa apa. You also give a big smile whenever I read Quran verses. Last night we played a new game tug of war. You hold one end of your toy and I hold the other. We pulled the toy. It was fun. You grab the toy strongly that I exert some force to pull your toy. You have big bones. I think you weigh around 5kg already. Wonder where I can weigh you. Your next injection in is November. Usually we weigh you at the clinic.

Today daddy put you on a swing. Uncle Firdaus, mummy's chat friend, gave it to you. You love it! You kept on smiling when it swings. Lately you are seeking a lot of attention. When we want to put you to sleep you want to be hug or carried or you want breastmilk. Eveb when you are sleeping you want to be carried. You will wake up when we put you on the rocker or the bed. When you sleep you will open your eyes to check if one of us is beside you. Even I am beside you and I turn the opposite direction you will cry and want me to look at you. Yesterday daddy watched tv while carrying you to make you sleep. Daddy told me out of sudden you pull his t shirt. When daddy look at you, you stop pulling and you gave him a big smile and falls asleep. Where did mummy and daddy go wrong that makes you so demanding? I know your demand to be carried was because so many people carried you when were just born. But your demand wanting us to look at you.... hmmm I don't know why you have this habit. A lot of housework to be done. Lucky daddy helps mummy when he is free. He will carry you when he come back from work no matter how tired he is.

I've uploaded some pictures and still uploading some videos. Check it out when you are free.

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=luftiah

http://atiah.myphotoalbum.com/albums.php

Love
Mummy

Am almost 2 mths

2006-09-26T19:36:00.000+08:00

Yeeehhhhaaaaaaaaa am gonna be 2 mths next Thursday (5 October 2006). It has been a great life. Eat sleep and bully my parents. I cry a bit they already on their toes to attend to me. I always ask mummy for milk. I always ask daddy to carry me and walk around. When daddy sits down, I will cry a bit hehehehee Now I poot poot give out gas while my mummy typing for me. Waahhh my poot poot so smelly.. why ah?

Now Ramadhan month. Mummy and daddy fasting. But poor mummy she manage to fast only up to 2nd day of Ramadhan. When she fast no milk come out and very painful when I suck so hard to make milk come out. She feels so dehydrated. She don't feel well so she called up her doctor. Doctor told her not to fast for this year because it may harm her and me. Mummy very busy with me. Sometimes she don't even have time to comb her hair. She also have no time to use her skincare. When I wake up she got to give me milk. When I sleep she got to do housework quickly. When I wake up daddy carry me. When I sleep daddy sleep or do his things and sometimes help mummy.

Last Sunday granparents and Uncle Nazri breakfast at our palace. I also sit with them. Mummy carry me with her sling. After 20 mins she carry me, I pity her because she got to breakfast so I let her put me on my rocker. I stay there quietly for 10mins only. After I make noise again. Daddy kept on pushing my rocker to make me keep quiet. But I persevere. I make more noise so that my daddy will carry me. Mummy pray and daddy take care of me. I still make noise. Daddy don't know what I want. I don't how to talk so I also don't know how to tell daddy I want mummy's milk. Finally mummy came to me. Carry me. So I open my mouth and bite her blouse heheehhehe

I think I can recognize mummy and daddy. When I want milk I look at mummy. When daddy carry me, I can smell him and maybe see him. So I make noise make him carry me. When mummy say "Bismillaahirrohmaanirohiim" I will open my mouth and wait for milk. When mummy or daddy say "susu" sometimes I will stop crying because I think they are going to feed me. When daddy say "kaki straight" I will straighten my legs so that daddy can bundle me. Doctor says I am a mature baby. I am fast. I can suck my fingers or my hand already. But mummy always stop me.

The other day mummy put something on my mouth. I can suck on it. I heard mummy say "puting" but I don't like it. Suck.. suck.. suck.. still no milk. What for I suck? Waste my time. I still want mummy to suckle.

Last Saturday daddy took leave because he overslept. He forgot to on the alarm. So we went Ikea and Marina Square. Ikea only buy important stuff. Marina Square buy baju raya for me. But still not complete yet. I and daddy same colour. heheheheh Daddy also bought something for himself. Daddy bought polo t-shirt. All on very cheap sale. If not daddy won't buy. Mummy only buy a lipstick. Mummy already have baju raya. Aunty Hawa bought for her last year. But it is too big. When she go for measurement she did not know she was pregnant. But nevermind la just wear. Now no time to send for tailor.

Now I am drinking Similac. It taste nicer than S 26. Since I was born I had gain more than 1kg. Daddy feel tired when carrying me. He said his arm aches. Mummy use her sling. But still her back hurts. Aiyohhh ... what if I am getting heavier and my parents cannot carry me? Who will carry me? Will you carry me? I always vomit or reflux after I drink milk. Anybody know how to stop this? Most of the time mummy never hit by my vomit. I will only spurt out a bit of milk only. But daddy always hit by my vomit. Sometimes daddy change to 2 t shirts in a few hours or sometimes within 3 hours. Love you daddy :0)

Ok bye bye.. I have more photos.. u can go to http://atiah.myphotoalbum.com/albums.php some of it are blur coz I don't know how to sit still. I am always moving. Mummy always have a hard time taking my cute pose. When mummy have her camera ready, I will give her a blur look hahahahhahaha

http://atiah.myphotoalbum.com/albums.php

Changes...

2006-09-19T22:52:00.000+08:00

Dear Fa'iz Hilman,

Having you in my life really change a lot of things. It really makes my time ticks very fast. Juggling you and the house is a challenge. I do everything as fast as I can and multitask whenever I can. Just so that I have more time to rest and no need to rush when I eat. Daddy told me that I am getting very forgetful. He said it is due to mummy doing everything too fast. Am not sure about that. Maybe I am getting forgetful because I am tired. I try my best to breastfeed you fully. On the average you only drink S26 formula twice a day. The rest are breastmilk. I can feel some changes in my body when I breastfeed. I get hungry and thirsty easily. I have constipation for almost a week now. Whatever it is I hope daddy can tolerate with me for being forgetful. I can't help it. It bothers me but I am to busy to be bothered by anything.

I was so happy that you didn't cry when the hairstylist shave your hair. You only cried at the end of it because you were sleepy. You didn't sleep for 4 hours before we left home to go to the saloon. Your little fingers hold daddy fingers tightly when you feel insecure. I am glad you are bonding very well with daddy. I hope the bonding remain strong even when you are 80 years old! Daddy and son relationship is very important for your well being.

After shaving your hair we went to Tanjong Katong Complex at Geylang to weigh your hair. After that we went to Sultan Mosque to donate the money and have our dinner. We had dinner at a Lebanese restaurant. Not bad. I like the minced beef pizza and the fries. The fries is very crispy. The restaurant is located infront of the Sultan Mosque beside the murtabak shops.

Today daddy sold his bike. I feel sad about it because the bike means a lot to me. It has a lot of memories. Daddy sold the bike because he "niat" to sell it when we have a baby. He niat when I was pregnant. He said he didn't want to ride the bike because it will be tiring and he foresee that he will not have enough sleep. So now he goes to work with his company bus. Daddy used to send me to work with that bike. It was useful. Daddy is a skillful rider. But he rides pretty fast. I would rather daddy be safe. I do feel sad that we don't have the bike anymore but I feel at ease because I know daddy will be taking public transport. I am not worried about daddy's safety on the bike anymore. I just need to worry about daddy's safety at work. Usually I will read a lot of surah in my heart whenever daddy leaves home on his bike. We don't have the intention to buy a car. Daddy likes to be driven. He don't want to drive. He said driving is very tiring. So the 3 of us got to depend on public transport wherever we are going. Now we are back to simple life. No transportation luxury.

Being a housewife is a drag. But you make it meaningful for me. Looking at your smile makes me happy. I feel being a housewife is more tiring than working in a company. Sometimes I have difficulty to sleep because I am too tired. Sometimes I feel I did not play much with you because I am busy doing things. Sometimes I do some housework while trying to put you to sleep or even breastfeed. I feel bad but I got no choice. I don't want to play with you while breastfeeding because I don't you to get distracted. I really salute my mom for being a housewife all her life. Eventhough she is educated with A levels but she chose to be a housewife. Doing the same things daily for years doesn't bore her. As for me, I can't wait for you to enrol in childcare. Even a halfday childcare is good enough. I feel I need a break. At least I can teach in the morning or afternoon. I know I can choose to let somebody to take care of you and I go back to work. But I don't want to miss these magical years. I am more motivated when doctors really supportive for my decision to take care of you full time. In the past I thought housewife are lucky. They do nothing at home and can just relax. But I am very wrong. There are surely something I need to do. Just imagine those poor wives whose husband and kids doesn't appreciate what a mother did at home. To me working is very relaxing. Even when I have to teach long hours I don't mind. Usually I will grumble about work when I have lousy assistants. Maybe I am weird hehehehe

Mummy getting sleep. I'll continue next time. Bye my love.

more of me

2006-09-19T01:02:00.000+08:00

Today I went to shave my hair. I shaved my hair Paragon, Orchard
road. Very nice feeling. When it was almosts done I began to feel sleepy. My sunat ring will come off soon. hehehe I am so happy. Ok la I stop here. Enjoy the pic & video!

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=luftiah

http://atiah.myphotoalbum.com/albums.php

Why so painful?

2006-09-14T13:55:00.000+08:00

Haizzz... so many things happen to me lately. Everything was a painful experience. Grandma not here anymore. Most of the time I am with mummy. If daddy at home, I will ask him to carry me and walk around the house. Not many come to our house because school holiday is over. Usually Abg Zarfhan and Abg Fariz will come here to play. Finally mummy and daddy can rest and do everything their way.

On the 7th September, my parents bring to Ar-Raudhah clinic for a circumcision. Only painful for awhile. After that I stop shouting and continue drinking my milk. Mummy hold my left hand and her right hand feed me with a bottle of milk. Daddy hold my legs. The doctor touch my birdie and the nurse helps him. I don't know what he did to me. I felt pain twice. Once when the doctor poke sharp thing at birdie and also when he use scissors or something like that. I heard mummy tell his siblings there was blood and very gruesome. I also heard she wants me to be circumcised now so that I don't have to go through the painful experience when I grow up. She also afraid that I will get infection if I am circumcised when I grow up already. She did so many research before she made the decision. I believe she wants the best for me. When grow up I will ask her why I need to be circumcised.

On the 11th September is another painful experience for me. Hey... today is also Daddy's 5 th year working for his current job. So proud of him. He also surprised he can stay in this job for 5 years. Tough job for him but he perservered and endured. Okay back to what happen to me. In the evening mummy and daddy bring me to a clinic at Holland grove. For injections they chose to go there. So no need to go back to Mt Alvernia. Only go to Mt Alvernia when I am sick. I got my 6 in 1 injections and pneumococcal injection there. Both injection was painful. 6 in 1 injections pain last for 3 seconds and pneumococcal pain last for 10 secs. Doctor also gave me fever medicine in case I have fever. After the injection the doctor told mummy and daddy that one of his patients suffered from pneumococcal. If not mistaken it can have lung infection if am not injected with it. So scarry. Mummy so glad that daddy also agree to get that injection for me.

Whenever they bring me out for sure it was a painful experience. In August I had to go through blood test for my jaundice. At Mt Alvernia not so painful but the clinic at punggol was horrible. It was a ver painful experience for me.

Finally Tuesday outing was not painful. Mummy and daddy bring me to follow up check up for my birdie after that daddy cut his hair and then we went to Paragon at Orchard Road. Mummy want to check out the hair saloon only for babies and children. My parents want to shave me bald next week. Daddy likes the place too. The equipment are child safe. Even the shaver got protection for babies. So we are going there to shave my handsome soft hair next week. After that they need to weigh my hair and donate the money. Mummy kept on touching my hair while she type this blog for me. Mummy you worry you will miss my hair is it? Don't cry when the hair stylist shave my hair okay?

I am getting cranky. Bye Bye.

My first month

2006-09-05T17:49:00.000+08:00

Hmmm it's been a month. Time really flies. Mummy been very busy giving me milk and entertaining guests. Poor mummy.. not enough sleep and did not get much assistant. Lucky thing she likes to multi task. Sometimes I want mummy to feed me all day. I don't want formula milk. Most of the time I will take one hour to drink milk from mummy.

Now I can wriggle more. I move on my own by wriggling when mummy did not notice. When she comes back to check on me.. I am always in another position. I love to stretch my body and bend it into an arch. I can lift my legs higher and higher. Mummy always have hard time feeding me when I am on her lap. I just love to kick and kick. When mummy too tired, I will feed in a lying down position. I love to sleep on her bed. It is so big. Usually I sleep long hours on her bed. If she put me on my bed, I will wake up in 1 hours time or sometimes within minutes! Mummy buy king size for what... to share with me laaa... Mummy and daddy have enough space what. At night I did not wake up much. Before I manage to cry, mummy already feed me hehehehe Mummy don't want to wake daddy up.

I always vomit and reflux. So far only mummy did not make me vomit much. Mummy always put my head higher or make me in a sitting down position. That way I won't vomit. I really pity daddy. I always vomit on daddy and grandma too hehehehehe But what to do... I cannot control my vomit.

Daddy loves me very much. Daddy loves to carry me and walk around the house. So when he sits down I will make noise. He will stand up and walk around the house again. hehehehehe Daddy even work extra hours to buy for me pampers. Daddy also want to sell his superfour bike because he feels to tired to ride it. He prefers to take his company's bus. He will in sleep in the bus when he is going to work or on the way home. Daddy muka tak malu. He always put his cheeks on my mouth and tells mummy that I kissed him heheheheh daddy no shame!

Yesterday mummy went check up again. Mummy tummy painful. Doctor said nothing wrong with mummy. But she really feel the pain. Today the pain had subside. I did not kick mummy much. Aunty Hawa said I macam tak boleh diam. Mummy answered memang tak boleh diam heheheh Doctor also said that mummy can get pregnant again. Mummy blur! She don't know what to do. Daddy prefer to manja me first. Spend time with me. Later than can give me sibling. But all these in Almighty Allah's hand. It is his decision. He knows best when I can have little brother and sister.

Am going to wake up from my sleep soon. When I wake up I will ask mummy to hug me and give me milk yum ... yummm... Mummy already update some pictures and video. You can click below and watch it... bye bye

http://atiah.myphotoalbum.com/

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=luftiah

Singapore so small what!!

2006-08-29T08:58:00.000+08:00

Dear Fa'iz,

For 3 days mummy had migraine. Mummy think about stupid ridiculous issue but I cannot ignore it. Mummy did not follow confinement rules. I only watch my diet. So far thrice I go out to settle things like I go to Lot 1, Takashimaya and Tangs. But for you, I let you stay at home. You did not follow me during those days I run errands. You stayed at home with grandma. You already have a lot of wind, I don't want you to get more sick if I bring you out.

So what's bugging me? You aunty wants me to go to Bedok to wait for people to visit me. She said it is too far for people from the East to travel all the way to visit us at Choa Chu Kang. Aiyah... don't visit also nevermind. Hari Raya can meet what. What la these people. I also need to rest. My wound still painful and many things to do at home. I find it funny, baby still in confinement was asked to travel all the way to Bedok , so that convenient for healthy people to see you. You still have your jaundice and this week we still need to go for check up. Nevermind about me. I just more concerned about you. I don't want to sleep over at Bedok because so many things need to bring and also over there too many children. Your cousin, Hannah, also haven't finish her PSLE exam. I don't want to trouble people. I don't like to trouble people so I also expect people not to trouble us. Your aunty Hazelee can travel from Bedok just to see you. She is so kind. Total transport cost by bus only $8.

Very likely I am not going to do cukur rambut. I think I will give some food to mosque and let them do the prayers. More people read prayers for you the better it is. Last weekend your grandparents organize doa selamat for you. They invite daddy's family, daddy's relatives and my family to come to our house. Aunty Ita, grandma and Aunty Hawa do the cooking. Actually the doa selamat is so that you will recover soon. If I do cukur rambut and invite the same people and plus friends, it maybe inconvenient for them. Daddy also don't have much leave to take. Daddy also very busy with work schedule.

I understand many people excited about your arrival. But use their brains la. How can baby travel here and there. sigh.... See how la... I'll discuss with daddy again about this.

Love you my love
Mummy

Sentimental mummy!

2006-08-22T01:46:00.000+08:00

My mummy very sentimental. A little bit want to cry..sigh. First time she saw me crying with tears.. she also want to cry. At that time I was with grandma. Mummy was bathing. When she's out of the toilet, she can hear me cry. She quickly dressed up and look for me. She saw one drop of my tears, she feels like crying.

After I came back from hospital, I don't want to breastfeed. Doctor asked mummy and daddy to train me to breastfeed again. I stayed one extra at Mt Alvernia Hospital because I have jaundice. Since mummy not there the nurses gave me milk in a bottle. I love it. No need to suck so much the milk can come out already. So when I at home I still want milk in a bottle. Daddy tried not to let me have my bottle. Daddy wants mummy to give me breastfeed. I refused and I cried very loud. But no tears. I macho boy heheheheh Instead mummy cry because see me want bottle so much. Mummy pity me so much. Daddy feel sad see mummy cry, daddy make milk in a bottle for me. No worries. Next day I want to breastfeed again. Just want to test my mummy and daddy only hehehehe (Why am I writing in Singlish?)

And today mummy want to cry again. Ish... mummy why like that? I pass motion. I have to teran a few times. I squeezed in out I think 3 times. Mummy see me trying to pass motion. Mummy pity me. Mummy want to cry. Mummy asked daddy to see me poo poo. Daddy look at mummy face almost want to cry. Daddy terbaring. Daddy talk to himself. Daddy said "Tak pernah I nampak mak orang mcm gini. Mcm mana nanti kalau dia nak masuk NS?" I know mummy control her tears. Poor mummy. She loves me so much. I just want to poo poo la mummy~~~

I love mummy so much that I want all of you to see a few of her favourite pictures. At first I look like mummy.. but now look like daddy. Why my face kept on changing?

Pic taken on 5th August 2006. The day I was born. Look like mummy when she was a baby.

Pic taken when I was about to wear my t shirt and shorts. I was about 1.5 weeks old.

I am about 12 days old. Daddy bought for my spec. Aren't I cool?

chupp chupp chuppp

2006-08-20T16:55:00.000+08:00

Am 2 weeks old! I am 2 weeks old on Saturday.. hmmm when mummy going to change the blog design? Mummy find time la... Yesterday also my pusat tanggal. Daddy plant it somewhere. Ok we continue later.. I want more milk.. bye~

Mummy heran ahh

2006-08-18T15:37:00.000+08:00

Aloo my darling Fa'iz Hilman...

Out of sudden mummy have the urge to write this in our blog. Out of sudden mummy feel so curious. Out of sudden you make me forget my sadness and worries. Apa yang mummy heran? Mummy heran kenapa la Hilman very tembam bila Hilman tengah sleep. Pipi Hilman setembam-tembamnyaaaaaa but when Hilman awake.. Hilman tak tembam pun. Hilman in the picture very chubby but when people look at your personally.. you look skinny and small size. That's what many people comment. Mummy heran betul ahhh

Kish Kish Kish Hilman
Lots of love from mummy

What's in the name?

2006-08-18T14:25:00.000+08:00

Dear Hilman,

Mummy love you very much. You are sleeping right now. Something makes me think about the future. I maybe rambling.. I don't think I am experiencing depression. Have I mention why mummy and daddy chose Fa'iz Hilman as your name? At first mummy wrote a list of names which means patience. I let daddy do the final decision. Daddy chose Hilman. Hilman means polite and patience. I chose names with such meaning because I don't want you to be hot tempered and abusive. I don't want you to have any such traits. I know it all depends on the up bringing but I still believe the names we chose plays a part. Sometimes you cried and you are impatient and sometimes agitated. But when I called out your name Hilman you calm down and wait for me to carry you. I am always here for you. To protect and love you. But I hope I won't be overprotective because it can be bad for your upbringing. If you are wrong, you are wrong. I won't defend you blindly. You have to know what is right and wrong. Allah will punish those who hurt other people and do wrong doings in the world. I will go to ANY extend to protect you from bad example even if it hurts me badly.

Now how did Fa'iz come to the picture. Daddy said Hilman has a good meaning. But if you are too patient it can be bad too. hmmm very hard to comment about this. I believe we can be patient up to certain extend. Daddy wants to have a name which means successful. I agreed. Again I list names which means successful. From the list daddy chose the name Fa'iz. So that's how we come out with the meaning Fa'iz Hilman. Actually there's no aprostorphe (tak tau eja ahh) It should be Faiz Hilman. But daddy wants people to have the correct pronounciation for your name so he decided to put ('). I think you notice that daddy have the upper hand in choosing your name. Why is that so? It is because in Islam, daddy will be questioned and responsible if he gives you a bad name. Daddy will be punish if he gives you a name with bad meaning. That's why I let daddy have the upper hand in choosing your name. In fact most of the things I let your daddy have the upper hand because he is responsible for our actions. But if he ever decide or do something wrong, I will definitely stick to my decision especially if it concerns Halal and Haram. So far Alhamdulillah, daddy can be reasonable at times.

I really hope I can educate you well. I want you to be a good Muslim. That what matters most. Even if you have everything in the world but your character hurt and unacceptable in Islam, it is useless. All your wealth is celebrated with syaitan. Before I was pregnant, during pregnant and after being pregnant; I detest abuse and violence. I really pray hard you won't have any of those syaitan character.. Nauzubillah. mithzalikk..

Love
Mummy

How has it been as a mummy?

2006-08-17T12:41:00.000+08:00

My darling Fa'iz,

A few people asked me how's life like being a mummy. When I was pregnant a few people told me life as mummy is tougher than being pregnant. So far motherhood life is okay. I think I am coping well. Grandma helps to cook and do laundry when daddy not around. When daddy around we are on our own. I do walk around in and out of the house. I am not stationed on the bed all the time. I know some people insist that I must stay on the bed all the time but I can't. I don't like to confined. I haven't even start doing the urut because I prefer to wait for the wound to completely heal. The doctor had removed the stitches because being diabetic I need more care. I have to see him again in one weeks time. Yesterday I had to drop by the clinic because the plaster came off. The doctor decided I need not use the plaster anymore. It is better to let the wound exposed to the open air.

When daddy works morning shift, grandma insist she sleeps with you. She worried that you will wake daddy up. But when daddy not working or works afternoon shift, you will sleep with us. I will wake up almost every hour to check if you are okay. It is fine with me. Anyway I only need 4 to 5 hours sleep per night. Daddy will only wake up when I really need his help. For example when I half way feeding you and I really need to go to toilet. Daddy will wake up with no complaints .. Alhamdulillah.

Day time you are always by my side. I do some housework when you are asleep. In the morning when you want me to carry you, I will use my right hand to do some facial for myself. Multi tasking. But it's okay. I am used to multi tasking. Only problem I did not get to take my medication on time which makes my glucose level haywire. I will talk to the doctor to let me switch to tablets soon. Having to inject myself and handling you at the same time is not easy. Especially now where my tummy is still very tender.

I do miss being pregnant. I miss you kicking me from inside me. But I would say pregnancy life is much more horrible than motherhood life. Being a mother is tiring but not as bad as being pregnant. During pregnancy I feel tired, lifeless, sensitive itchy skin, cramps here and there, vomit everyday and not being able to walk too much.

Now being a mother and with the healing wound, I feel more energetic. Happier. So I guess every woman have different views. So mine is pregnancy life is horrible and I love being a mother.

Love you my baby

*Smooch*
Mummy

My first week in the world.

2006-08-14T20:22:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm today mummy and daddy took care of me. Grandma not around. Grandma went to her home yesterday. Mummy and daddy bathe me. I cried a little. The water too cold for me I think or maybe I just don't like to be naked. I always cry when I am not wearing any clothes. My jaundice is so much better. Mummy drank goat's milk for one month only. I think not enough. Mummy should drink more goat's milk so that I don't get jaundice.

I love to drink milk. When I am in my mummy's tummy I want to drink milk everyday. Now I am delivered mummy don't have to drink milk anymore. Now I drink milk by myself. Nurse told mummy that I am a big eater. I can drink breast milk and add another 20ml of S26 gold. At home when I am very hungry I have no patience to drink from my mummy. I want my bottle. After I drink from my bottle, I will drink from my mummy. But still I am thin. My have strong bones. But not much fats yet.. sigh..

In the late afternoon daddy wipe my body and changed my diaper. After he finished I made a sound "haiiiiii~~~". I mengeluh hehehehehe I like to disturb daddy I think. After that I poot poot again. Daddy got to change me again hahahaha You see usually mummy change me. Today daddy change me so I make him change me more hahahahha

I love daddy to carry me. I love my mummy milk. I like to sleep sleep sleep. At night I wake up once only. Sometimes 2 to 3 times if I have hiccups. Now daddy, me and 2 of his friends in the living room. Mummy rest in her bedroom. Don't know what daddy and his friends talk about. I just sleep infront of them. They brought gifts for me. Yeayy yeayy yeayy.

I think I look like my mummy and daddy.. look at our picture and see for yourself okay.. nite nite

Mummy in orange.
Daddy on the bed.
Fa'iz Hilman sleeping soundly.

Fa'iz Hilman

2006-08-13T15:00:00.000+08:00

Hey,

Thanks for the support and for visiting me. I update more soon.. cite lum habis daaaa krherhekhrekhrekhrek even stitch punya tali tangsi pun aku simpan lol... ok la me update bila dah tak ada visitor.

Regards
Atiah

continuation part 1

2006-08-09T13:43:00.000+08:00

Dear Hilman,

You are sleeping right now. Mummy don't want to sleep. Feel like it is a waste of time to sleep during day time.

Let's continue from the previous post...

Daddy finally excused from reservist for a few hours. I told him to wait for the doctor to see us. The doctor explain the situation and he said it is okay if I really need to go for the operation tonight. The doctor said it's okay. He let us settled down first. Daddy left at about 11am. He came back later in the evening. Uncle Kip and Uncle Adam and wife visited me. I don't really remember what happened during that day. During the hospital stay the nurses kept on doing CTG and checking my high blood pressure. At about 1am on Saturday, the doctor called me. He asked me if I am having contractions. I said I don't know. But I can feel pain around my tummy area. I thought my baby was playing. The doctor confirmed that I am having contractions and want me to go to first stage room. So I went to the room. I called daddy and told him that I am having contractions. I told him I want him to come early so that I can see him before the operation.

Daddy came at about 5am. He was there and we spent some time together. Everything happened so fast that I have no time to feel scared. Out of sudden I was asked to change, take medication.. out of sudden a man in blue came in with a bed.. after that I was pushed to operating theatre. Daddy kissed me before I enter the lift. I can see his worried face. That is already satisfying for me to see that daddy is worried for us hehehehe Some men will say that giving birth is a natural process and every women go through it. Those people are selfish. so you don't be like them okay? Nauzubillah..

When I entered the operating theatre, it was so cold. I can't take it. I actually shivered. But after they push me further I feel okay. I was asked a few questions in the operating theatre. I was put to GA. Later they put a few things on me and asked me to look at a light. Later I knocked out. The operation should start at 7.30am. Seems like in a minute I woke up. I can hear my doctor and the GA doctor voice. I groan in pain. I told them it's painful. They say I have to bear with it because the cannot give me any more painkiller. I said my tummy feel so tight. My gyne quickly asked his assistant to loosen the bind. After that I feel okay. He said baby is fine. And baby looks like me and very cute. Very chubby. I smiled and said thank you. I was pushed to a room where I felt very cold at first. I asked for a blanket. I can't take the coldness. After that I was to a lift and when I came out I saw daddy. He looked very happy and relieved. I was pushed to my room. I settled down and asked are you healthy. Daddy said you are okay and very cute. He showed to me your picture. I was so shocked. You look like me when I was a baby. I smiled and later daddy bring you in to show me.

Daddy told me when he was waiting outside the operating theatre, he met the doctor. The doctor asked daddy if daddy is coming along. Daddy had a shocked hahahhaha Kecut perut! He did not know how to react. He thought he cannot be in the operating theatre during the surgery. The doctor just walked off when see daddy very shocked khrekrhekhrekhrek..

ok la.. I continue later.. tired laa

Love
Mummy

Alhamdulillah.. Subhanallah for HIS gift.

2006-08-07T12:46:00.000+08:00

My darling Fa'iz Hilman,

Finally you were born on 5 August 2006, 11 Rejab 1427 Hijrah at 0755 hours. I will change the layout of this blog when am recovered and have the time. We'll find a nice one okay? To recap what happened... all is Almighty Allah's destiny.

On Thursday we went for check up. Doctor asked me to choose a date to deliver. Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday? I told him that I have to discuss with daddy about this. He gave me till Saturday to tell him our decision. I sms daddy and he asked me to check Islamic calendar. After check up I went to Tanglin Mall for a hot drink with Aunty Nadia. She accompanied to the clinic on that day. As soon as I finished drinking, we went window shopping at Tanglin Mall. I was looking for a nursing apron actually. But the one I want was out of stock. The supplier did not bring it in Singapore for months. I bought pillow cases and lettering for your room. Finally I am tired and the time was about 5.30pm. I told Aunty Nadia "Kak Atiah penat ah.. we go supermarket lepas tu balik ah.." She immediately replied "Ingat Kak Atiah tak tau penat. Nadia dah penat ni heheheh." krhekrhekrhe in my heart.. hmm am pregnant yet I have more energy heheheh We went to the supermarket and went home.

In the evening after pizza hut dinner, I rest in my room. Out of sudden I smell smoke. I asked Uncle Mizi, did she smoke? He laughed. Daddy already warned them a few times that they are not allowed to smoke in the house. I began to feel nausea. I can't take it. Tears start to roll on my cheeks. A few minutes later my tummy hurts. I think you are the one who is hurt. I called daddy told him what happened. I checked my urine for albumin. The results was +++. At 8pm it was +++ too. I had no choice but to call the doctor. I argued with Gleaneagles Answering service because she don't want to the doctor. I told her okay fine.. I will take the risk and wait till morning. I am not sure if I should go to the hospital. The staff will be blur because usually the doctor will inform the hospital staff what to do. Finally the answering service put me through on the 3rd line. She could hear me talking to the doctor. The doctor told me go to Mt Alvernia hospital and request for 1 hour CTG. He said don't wait till morning. It is not worth it. My baby's life is so precious. I quickly get ready and asked Uncle Mizi to follow me. I was worried. I cried while I talked to daddy over the phone because of the pain in my tummy. I went to the hospital. I told the doctor's instructions. The nurses did all test and the doctor decided that I need to be warded. He said I will have to deliver the baby soon. He told me he is willing to wait for daddy till Saturday morning only. No later than that. With or without daddy, I have to deliver you. I was warded and called daddy to inform him. Daddy finally reached hospital at 6am. Daddy was excused from reservist for a few hours. Aunty Nadia panicked. I let them be. I just want them to learn to never smoke when there's a pregnant woman around them....

Full of drama...

2006-08-02T06:08:00.000+08:00

Hi darling,

It's 6am. Daddy left for camp 30 mins ago. He supposed to book in last night at 2300 hrs. But he can't make it, that's why he requested to book in the morning. Do you know why? We thought I have to deliver you last night. Wahhh really full of drama. Kecian daddy.

Yesterday, Aunty Nadia slept over, Aunty Raudhah drop by, Uncle Mizi sleep over now and Uncle Nazri also drop by. All worried that I am alone. So during day time Mummy, Uncle Mizi and Aunty Nadia went to Bukit Panjang Plaza to buy 2 plastic drawers to keep your things. The colours are very sweet. I love it. But the price ok ah.. 2 four tier drawers for $100. I still think Ikea blue wardrobe for kids cost $200 at the reject corner still worth it. But never mind la.. maybe not meant to be for you.

Later I taught Aunty Nadia and Aunty Raudhah how to cook spaghetti. All 5 of us have dinner. While eating daddy sms me saying "(ur name).. Daddy in the cab. On the way back." I was happy. Finally daddy reached home. Daddy had a drink and quickly take a bath so that he can talk to you. He talk to you and you only touch him gently. When daddy said "Tonight daddy still need to go reservist." Immediately you kicked him hard. Kecian pipi daddy heheheh tapi padan muka gak ah. And daddy explained to you why he needs to go for reservist.

At about 10pm daddy get ready to go back to camp and he also wants to eat some spaghetti. I did a quick test on albumin (protein). I had a shocked. It was +++ 3 plus! I called daddy to come to the toilet. Showed him the test strip. He also said it looks +++. I took out my blood pressure meter and check my blood pressure. It was very high. I called the doctor and the doctor asked me to go to Mt Alvernia immediately. He told me not to eat anything in case I have to be operated immediately. I did the albumin test again at home. It still shows +++. So no choice I had a quick bath, get ready and do Isya' and sunat prayers. Daddy did his prayers too. I prayed that you will be safe. Uncle Mizi and Aunty Nadia insist on following. When we about to go to hospital, I salam and kiss daddy. Asked for forgiveness and told him to really take care of you if anything happens. He also asked for forgiveness and told me everything will be fine. He told me not to worry. I cried a bit hehehehe cenggeng gak aku. After that I kissed Aunty Nadia and Uncle Mizi. I love them both.

When we arrived at the hospital, I was told to go to labour ward immediately. The nurses did a CTG, check my urine and blood pressure. I was observed for one hour. I hate to lie on the bed for one hour or so. It gives me a back ache. If I lie down side ways they won't be able to hear your heart beat. So no choice but to endure. You kept on kicking the doppler. I know you don't like it but no choice. Doctor need to check your heart beat. The nurses said your heart beat is fine. My glucose was very high because I just drank H20 downstairs. I want to buy mineral water but no stock! ish! So no choice I really need a sip to clear my throat. The albumin (protein) is + only which is 1+ wahhhh why like that?! They did the second test. It is still 1+. Okay la good news I don't have to c-sect immediately. phewwww... But I still wonder, why at home +++ but at hospital +. You don't want daddy go back to camp is it?

Anyway it's okay. Daddy said you gave us a drill. To practise being kanchiong hehehehe Am glad you are okay. Seems like today I have to drink more water no sweet stuff uhuk uhuk uhuk.. for your sake I sacrifice. I hope I will remember I am suppose to drink water only heheheheh

It's 6.30am. I want to go back to sleep.

Love you
Mummy

hmmm so soon...

2006-07-31T23:45:00.000+08:00

Dear Sweetie Pie,

Today Mummy went for check up again. Alhamdulillah so far so good. Doctor believe that the blood pressure is just a false alarm but to play safe he still prefer to do c-sect and want me to try blood pressure medication for 5 days. We'll see how it goes from there. So far there is negative and only traces of protein in my urine.

You are healthy. You heartbeat is pumping well. Everything is fine. And guess what? You are about 2.8kg! Yeayyyy you are bulat! hahahaha Maybe ... hopefully. I love chubby babies. I know overweight baby is not healthy. But at least you remain chubby for a few months after that you lose some weight because you are active.... well hopefully.. we'll see...While the doctor did the CTG to check your heartbeat, I can hear your hiccups. One of the nurse told me that is the sound of your hiccups. When the nurse was about to remove the CTG from me, I can hear a gush of water. After that the nurse asked me if I need to go to pee. I paused and think for awhile. So I just said and yes and tried to pee. I did pee! I guess the sound of gush of water means I want to pee.. interesting huh?

Later we did the scan. The doctor scanned your head. After that he scanned your body. At first you were moving and when the doctor stop to look at your body, you stop moving and stayed still. You didn't even budge. You are so cute! Then the doctor scan your lower part of your body. You open your legs wide and we can see your birdie so clearly. For sure you are a boy! yeayyy...

Hmmmm but we still not sure mummy is how many months pregnant. Mummy found out mummy was pregnant on 14 January 2006. Before that I missed my period for 3 mths. My last period was in October 2005. I don't have a regular cycle. When Mummy and Daddy went to the gyne on 17 January 2006, the doctor predicted I am 7 weeks pregnant. The predicted due date was 6 Sept 2006. Last week, I went for check up the predicted due date was 2 Sept 2006. By right this week is my 35th week. The doctor check your weight, size, water bag and your position, he said it is possible that I am more than 35 weeks pregnant. I may give birth very soon because you are already engaged. As time goes by the predicted date is getting nearer. Oh my dear baby.. mummy is how many months pregnant? When the doctor saw that you are already engage and you are at a very low position, he said "You see, God knows best what is good for the baby and you." He smiled. He's happy that the baby is engaged and almost ready to be delivered because I am facing so much complications. The doctor was really relieved. I can see that the doctor have so much faith in God. I never seen a doctor like him.

He knows I am worried for your safety if I deliver early. He even arranged for the pediatrician to call me tomorrow to explain that there is nothing for me to worry about. He also worried about the cost incurred. He always give me special price for our check ups, CTG, scans, medication etc. I am really thankful to have him as my doctor. I believe he will retire soon. He is pretty old actually. Alhamdulillah... everything seems fine. But I still feel tired easily. I stayed at home most of the time and I still need to monitor the protein level regularly. We'll see how it goes from here.

Daddy has started his reservist. Mummy have to do things by myself. In the evening Uncle Mizi and Aunty Nadia drop by. Aunty Nadia sleep over to keep me company. She also help with a little bit of housework. I am really grateful for their help.

I think you miss daddy. I have the urge to drink eat and drink whatever daddy like. I even cried when daddy called me just now. I just feel I miss him so much. Hey.. normally I don't behave like this.. it must be my darling baby who miss his daddy which affects me.

Just now your cousin Hannah called up to coax me to sleep over at Bedok. I told her no because I don't want her to get distracted. She will be taking her PSLE very soon. I told her see how it goes. I really want her to concentrate on her exams. Aunty Hawa predicted that I will give birth on 3rd of August. But if possible I don't want it to be on that date because Daddy will not be able to leave the camp because he got live firing training. He have to finish it in order to leave early. I really want daddy to be there when I give birth to you. It will be so sad if daddy is not there. But all these is in Almighty Allah's hands. It is his decision. It is all up to him. But I am already feel sad if daddy won't be with us when you are born in this world. :(

It's late. Time to sleep my darling baby.

Love & lots of kisses
Mummy

Kanchiong mumm!

2006-07-30T08:17:00.000+08:00

Sweety baby,

Mummy pagi-pagi dah buat kelakar. In the morning half awake or maybe still dreaming, I felt your turning and tossing in my tummy. I panicked. In my heart is it time? Am I going to give birth? But how? What should I do? Daddy going reservist tomorrow. I tried to stay calm. I pretend nothing happened. I tried to control the uncomfortable feeling in my tummy. Later at about 6.15am daddy woke up. I woke up too. I touched my tummy. I think for a few seconds. Was I dreaming? Were you kicking me? Am I giving birth? I told daddy I think I dreamt that I want to give birth and I thought it was for real. Daddy smiled. But in actual fact I just want to pee and at the same time you kicked and turning in my tummy very vigorously. phewwww what a relieve!

I think I felt anxious because I have to test for protein test twice a day. And I have to give birth to you if the result is ++. So I am in the kanchiong mode hehehe.

I've been doing a lot of thinking. I regret for not listening to daddy to stay at home and rest. I shouldn't have gone to work. The stress makes my blood pressure increases. But what's done is done. I got to face the music. At least I am happy that your are okay.. Alhamdulillah. While I was teaching I felt extremely tired and the pain in my tummy was horrible. I think that leads to more stress in me. I asked my friends is the feeling normal. Most of them responded it is normal. Wait till you really take care of your kid. It will be more tiring. So I thought mine was normal too. I endured for 2 weeks. Actually what I was experiencing was not normal. I didn't listen to my body. It was my mistake. I insist on working was not because of money. But because I want you to be hardworking and to endure. I believe by working and enduring it will make you a btter person. But in actual fact I don't have to worry about that now. You are just a baby. I have a long time to instill this characted in you.

That's it for now.

Love mummy

Only Almighty Allah can help my baby...

2006-07-29T08:11:00.000+08:00

Dear Baby,

Life has been pretty challenging lately. Alhamdulillah I can cope with it. Just feel a little bit sad to think of what will happen next. If I am destined to go, who will take care of you. Who will help daddy to look after you. If I am okay and you are okay, I hope the healing process will be fast. I don't like to be sick for too long.

So what's this sentimental thing?! I went for check up again on Friday. Doctor looked very concern. He told me that I have to give birth sooner than expected. He said my blood pressure is rising. He told me if my albumin (protein) increase to ++ I have to call him and arrange for c-sect. If it's more than ++, I have to go through emergency c-sect. So these few days I have to test albumin 2 times a day and have to be mentally prepared to go to hospital anytime.

It is tougher for me because daddy have to go for reservist this Monday. If he defer his reservist, he might have to make up for it sooner or later. He also reluctant to defer because he don't want to change his platoon. He prefer to be with his 'gang'. So I will have to go check up and make decisions myself. If have to be warded I have to do it alone. But what worries me, what if daddy is uncontactable. No reception for hp or cannot get him at the camp.

I can sense that the doctor is worried about my condition. It might be dangerous for me. The baby is still safe. He don't want me to reach the stage where my baby will be in danger too. Baby is more than 2kg now (according to books). I am 34 weeks pregnant. The doctor doesn't bother about the baby's weight. I ever overheard he explaining to a patient when the patient asked why he never want to tell the baby's weight. He said nowadays doctors don't depend on the weight. They prefer to use circumference of the head and the length of the baby. He said doctors research finds out this way is more accurate to determine the baby's maturity.

I would rather save my baby. No point I am out of danger but my baby is unhealthy. But doctors reassure me the baby is fine. But being a mother to be, I just want the best for my baby. I really don't know. I can only tawakal and hope for the best for my baby. I never expect my pregnancy experience will end this way. I really feel I am like a walking time bomb.

For my true friends and my friends out there, thanks for being there for me. Thanks for all the opinions and advice. Forgive me for my wrong doings and halal kan everything. In case I don't make it. But I will try my best to be strong to take care of my baby.. Insya-Allah. For those friends who knows my family, please don't call my siblings for updates. They don't know about this yet. Am not sure if I am going to tell them. Thanks again all...

Hugs
Mummy

Why me?

2006-07-27T14:10:00.000+08:00

Dear Baby,

How are you doing? I hope you are doing fine and remain healthy always. Mummy's health has not been good.

On Monday I managed to solve my training matters so I arranged for an earlier appointment on Tuesday. I do feel tired because I was busy for the past few weeks, everday I felt some pain around my tummy and abdomen area. I did not realised I was so stressed. The students in that school were slow and have very poor discipline. Everyday I have to be firm with them. I scolded a few classes in a week. My body tells me to stop. I managed to negotiate with my director.

On Tuesday I happily went for my appointment with daddy, as we always look forward to see you. Usual routine, I have to check my weight and urine. I only increase less than 1 kg. All these while I don't have any blood pressure problem and I don't have any protein in my urine. During pregnancy my hormone doctor did a protein test. He was happy about my condition. But fate is not on my side on Tuesday. My blood pressure was very high and I have protein in my urine. Daddy did not understand the sudden change in my body. Where did the protein comes from? As for the blood pressure, it may be due to the stressful weeks I had gone through. My gynae was very concerned. He asked me to check with my hormone doctor about my blood pressure. He wants to see if there is any changes. Indeed the blood pressure kept on rising. I went back to my gynae. He told me to go home and rest and to come back the next day. He said if things don't get better I have to be warded. I know what they are worried about. I know they are worried that I will pre-eclempsia. I've done a bit of reading during my early pregnancy and I thought I will not experience this. But the gynae prefer not to tell yet so that I won't get stressed.

Daddy was worried. But I know you are safe. It's my life which is at stake. The doctor checked your heartbeat and few test. You did very well. Daddy was worried because on Thursday he got to go for training and next week for 5 days he got to go for reservist. I told him that the doctor will confirm if I have to be admitted on Wednesday and we'll see how it goes. He can still go for his training on Thursday because the hospital staff will take care of me. As for reservist we just have to see how it goes. If I have to deliver by next week, he needs to defer it. No choice.

On Wednesday morning, I got up early to get ready. Daddy was on the way home from night shift. I packed my toiletries and whatever necessary document. We had breakfast at home and we go to the hospital about 9.30am When I'm there I was told to check my protein and rest in the observation room. I had protein in my urine. After 30minutes of resting, my blood pressure still high. The nurse asked me to rest. I just need to feel at ease. So I SMS Aunty Lina and Aunty Izan to disturb them. Later a nurse came in and I asked her about Ventolin. On Tuesday the doctor gave me Ventolin for tummy cramps. I noticed that the baby is not so active. Usually the baby will wake up in the morning. The nurse decided to check your heart rate. I was on ctg for 30 mins. When am done, the gynae came in. He checked my blood pressure. He said it's okay. Not too high.

We went to one of his consultation room. He told me to lower my expectation. I was blur. I asked him what expectation. He said I have to go through c-sect. I told him if possible I want normal delivery because being diabetic I will take a longer time to heal. He said that's why he told me to lower my expectation. I cannot expect everything to go smoothly. He said there is high chance I have to go through c-sect. He don't want to wait until the baby is ripe to go through normal delivery because I will put my baby in danger. He also don't want me to go through normal delivery because he don't want me to have seizures and risk my life. He said having the wound to heal slowly is a small matter. This is a more serious matter. Damnnn.. I don't care about my life. I just want to save my baby's life. Seems like I have to go through c-sect. Hopefully I can maintain a good blood pressure and no protein till my 36 weeks. My gyne wants to plan a c-sect with my hormone doctor. They will plan together and they really hope they can do it after my 36 weeks. They don't want me to deliver before 36 weeks because they want to make sure the baby's condition is very stable. Baby.. please be strong. Please save your life. Tell mummy if you are not okay. The doctor will be able to detect if anything goes wrong. Insya-Allah everything will be fine.

My next appointment is this Friday. Next week onwards my appointment will be 3 times a week. I did not even think about the medical bills because I am more concern about your safety. My gynae is a very kind man. He didn't even charge me for my consultation. He even gave me protein strips for me to test at home for free. He only charged CTG for $20 by right it costs $50! He told me he will charge me minimal because I have to see him often and I need to do CTG frequently. He has always been so kind. He's been my doctor since 2002. Before I got married, he helped me with polycystic ovarian problem and removed some polyps. I noticed he always concern about prices. He even shooked his head when he found out that my hormone doctor charges consultation fees everytime I see the hormone doctor. My gynae feels that I will see them often and I shouldn't be charged so high.

I hope everything will be fine. You will be a safe. Now mummy resting at home. I really want to go for a swim but daddy is very busy. My gynae told me not to go for a swim alone. Maybe later I will cut my hair. I planned to cut my hair before I give birth so that I won't look so messy.

To my dear friends out there. Can give me tips on what to prepare before I go for c-sect? I will be on my own and with my hubby's only. Any tips?

Thanks

Love
Mummy

Thank goodness...

2006-07-25T02:12:00.000+08:00

Harlow baby,

This morning I received good news. I don't have to teach anymore. They had found a replacement for me. But I have to be on standby in case the trainer cannot cope with the classes. After I put down the phone with the director, I told daddy I don't have to teach anymore. Immediately your hands punch my tummy a few times. Are you happy about it too? Daddy was happy. At about 1pm the trainer called me for short briefing and I emailed to him all the necessary documents and project requirements. I feel happy. I was thinking of having good rest and hopefully I won't have anymore cramps.

After all the necessary things are done, I get ready to go to Ikea with daddy. I really need a comforter. I don't have a comforter. Never like to use one. But since the new air con was fixed, the temperature has been to cold for me even when the temperature is at 26 degrees celcius. We arrived at Ikea about 2.30pm. When I alight from the taxi at Ikea, I had difficulty in walking. It was because of cramp and my tummy feels very hard. We decided to have our lunch before we start hunting for a comforter. I've been to a few places to look for one but the prices are too expensive. Daddy went to burger king to order and I went to the toilet. On the way to the toilet, I notice a few aunties looking at my face and tummy. Maybe they feel that I will due soon. I can't eat much. I feel bloated and have no appetite. Daddy helps me to finish my food. While looking for a comforter, I saw a cot and a work table. I love it. We might get it later. We are still deciding. Finally found a comforter and daddy queu up to pay. I feel the cramps again and I found a place to sit. The cramp subsides after 10 mins. But I feel very tired and uncomfortable. You are not kicking too hard. You kick subtly since I take Elken Spirulina daily. Spirulina helps to calm temperamental babies and gives you a complete supply of vitamins. I think the cramps and backache makes me feel lousy. We quickly go home and I rested for about 1 hour. I feel fine after that but still I don't have the appetite to eat.

Ikea was very crowded. If not because of the voucher daddy received, we wouldn't go there to shop. We know now Ikea is having sales and there will be a lot of people. We don't like crowded places.

It's 2.43am. I need to sleep. I was sleepy but I felt hungry and decided to eat some bread. But after eating it is not advisable to sleep. So I write this blog while letting the bread digest in my tummy.

Take care my love

Yours Always

Mummy

I surrender...

2006-07-21T18:50:00.000+08:00

Dear darling baby,

Mummy always thought that mummy is a superwoman. But sad enough I am not that strong. I am 33 weeks pregnant and I still vomit daily. I still have sensitive skin. It’s has not been easy but I endured. When mummy accepted training assignment, I thought I could make it. I thought it will make me active so that I will have easy delivery. But in reality I can’t take it. I feel too tired, my back aches, I always have cramps and sometimes my lower abdomen feels very heavy that makes it difficult for me to walk. At work, I need to be on my feet and need to be fast in attending the students. I can’t afford to sit down and let the students do their work on their own.

Last night I can’t sleep because my back aches terribly. In the morning I feel exhausted. I can’t force myself to get out of the bed. But I have to go to work today. Before I left for work I contacted the director asking for replacement. I want someone to take over my class. I told him that I can’t take it anymore. I always have severe cramps during class. He was reluctant. He wants me to continue till next week. I told him I have no choice. I’ve been tolerating since Monday and the doctor did tell me rest. The doctor always reminds me to listen to my body to rest. But I am not the sort of person who quits. I always endure and persevere. Daddy was reluctant when I first take up the assignment. He wants me to rest at home. But I was worried that if I stayed at home remain stagnant and do nothing much, I will have a lazy baby. I know I should have listen to daddy and doctor’s advice.

Now I am just waiting for my director’s call. If everything is settled, I can arrange my appointments and have more rest. Maybe go for massage. Aunty Nora was very kind to give a massage voucher. I will call up for an appointment as soon as I can.

Life is wonderful if we look at the right perspective. Last Tuesday my up line for Elken came to our house to pay a visit. He is from Malaysia. He advice me and share with us business strategies. It is so nice of him. He gave me tips on how to have easy delivery and how to make my baby non-temperamental. Daddy and mummy was exhausted. But his visit is so fruitful. No regrets. It is so nice that there is someone out there who cares for us and always wishes us well.

Take care my love.

Luv
Mummy

Arghhhh tagged by Nora!!!

2006-07-20T18:47:00.000+08:00

My Name: just call me thea
Hobbies: Surfing
School: sekolah primary, secondary, diploma, sekolah arab aje tak sempat register
Work: in schools
Horoscope: aries
Hair colour: Black
Eye Colour: brown
Skin Colour: Tan .)
Status: Married
Last 5 digit Of My Mobile: 14729
My Birthday: 26 march 2006

HAVE YOU...
Tried Smoking: Yes tried but don't like it.
Drink Alcohol: Tried but don't like it
Been Hurt Emotionally: chehhh am only human
Keep A Secret From Anyone: of course la
Been On Stage: yeah.. a few times

FAVOURITES...
Colour: lavender
Food: rojak
Number: 1
Cartoon: Walt Disney
Song: roxette
Movie: Miss Congeniality

RIGHT NOW...
Wearing: dress
Hairstyles: layered shoulder length
Looking At:monitor la.. if not how to type
Thinking Of: the answers to these questions
Listening To: quietness of my bedroom

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...
Love: Yes
Faiths: Yes
Yourself: Yes
Angels: Yes
Ghost: Yes

IN THE LAST 24HRS...
Wored Jeans: no
Clean Your Room: Yes..
Cried: no.
Met Someone New: no
Last Person I Talk To on The Phone: hubby

LOVE LIFE...
Do You Believe in Love: Yes
Have a Secret Admirer: last time la
Do You Want To Get Married: huh? never thought about it. It just happened.
How Old You Want To Be When You Have Kids: chehhh dah nikah nak anak la
How Many Kids Do You Want: thinking of 2 maximum
Would You Have Kids Before Marriage: No
Do You Have a Crush: entah eh.. should have la
What Do You Want Most in a Relationship: Trust

IN RANDOM...
Your Favourite Local Footballer: don't have
3 People You Run To When You Have Problems: Hubby, twinzmom, Samaritans
3 Things You Do When You Are Stress: talk to ppl I can confide in, try to solve it asap, 3rd one entah ehh
3 Prominent Qualities of Myself: penyabar, tolerant, rational

What Would You do if You Have 1 Million $: Finished up the outstanding bills/ Pay all kinds of zakat, educate my kids, pay degree fees for hubby & myself, go haji, go holidays
Favourite Secondary School Teacher: don't have

People(s) You Like To See Doing This Thing:
1. Hazelee
2. Husna
3. Ana

Mysterious scratches...

2006-07-20T18:31:00.000+08:00

Hmmm not sure this is for my baby to read or not. I feel I need to express it here to express my curiosity.

My husband came back from work and asking me if I had scratched his body last night. I told him I didn't. But I do remember our baby was kicking his hand while he was sleeping. I looked at his scratches. It is all on his left side of body. There are 4 long scratches as his lower arm, 3 on his chest and 3 at his back upper shoulder. No way he can make such scratches himself. I couldn't have scratched him while sleeping. Both of us have short fingernails. I also checked the bed for anything sharp. But there's none.

My first thought was maybe momok scratch him because last night he read some prayers for his younger brother. I told him about it and he said he is not afraid.

About 30mins ago while he was sleeping I examined his scratches again, another thought came across my mind. Maybe an angry woman scratched his body. I asked if a woman did it to him. He said no. I trust him. I am sure he won't do anything stupid while I am carrying his baby. Allah the Almighty God please protect us.

Eventhough I am still curious, I will try not to think about it. I hope no other weird things will happen. God forbid.

Ohhh my husband.. oh your daddy...

2006-07-20T13:28:00.000+08:00

Dear baby,

Finally the air con was fixed last Monday. The old air con is now at the dumpster. Daddy can't tolerate the expensive electricity bill due to old broken air con. He wants to buy new air con asap. No regrets.. It was so much better. The air is fresher too. Now, we got to monitor electricity bills for a few months. See it it's getting lesser.

Hmmmm daddy being daddy. For someone who cannot stand cold temperature. We may feel hot and he will feel cold. When we are using the old air con, he complained it's hot and the cold temperature is not constant. Still he covers himself with a blanket. Now we have new air con, he is extremely happy. He likes the coolness. YET! When he sleeps he covers himself completely with a blanket and the air con temperature is 26 degrees celcius! He covered himself as if he is sleeping in an IGLOO! I am speechless. Well that's your daddy eheheheheh...

Nothing much to update about mummy. As usual mummy busy with classes. Nowadays I feel heavier. I will feel tired after climbing 3 storey of school's staircase. I think you do not have enough space to move around in my tummy. I think this is the reason why I feel very uncomfortable when you move. Most of the time, your movement is visible. Lately I noticed that my tummy will be wet whenever I wash dishes. I have to slouch a bit to reach the tap or I stand slightly side ways to reach the tap so that my tummy won't get wet. You've grown up. Can't wait to hug you soon.

Last Saturday I went to visit my friend, Norlin, who gave birth to her second child. It's a boy. Very cute and have lots of hair. I noticed daddy kept on smiling to himself while looking at the baby. I never seen daddy smiling to himself so sweetly. Most of the time daddy look very serious. He smiles to himself whenever he looked at the baby. I guess he is imagining when he have his own baby soon.. and that is you. Daddy berangan kot! heheheheheheh Daddy do smile and laugh.. but it won't last so long. But this is the first time I saw his sweet smile hehehhehe. Usually daddy will have irritating smile, mischievous smile or laugh very loudly at mummy. Daddy always find mummy very funny eventhough I don't intend to be funny.

This morning I wave at daddy when he wants to go to work. He waves at me back and only look at me for 1 sec and after that he looked at my tummy. heheheheheh Maybe he's hoping you can see him smile at you. When daddy touched my tummy to say goodbye to you, you gave him a kick at his first touch. heheheheh Good boy.. that's the way to make daddy happy hahahahah

That's it for now. Make sure your head is engage at the bottom when it's time to deliver. As mummy always say "kaki kat belly button and you head kat lower abdomen".

Love you
Mummy

Tagged by Hazelee

2006-07-17T03:46:00.000+08:00

6 weird facts:
1. Women who insist on marrying man who abuse, take for granted and have weird family.
2. Feel guilty for other people actions.
3. Back stabbers at the office. (Can't they work as a team?)
4. Prices increasing but salary get lower or remain the same.
5. Women compained about having too much xxx.
6. We claim we need privacy but yet we are blogging khrekhrkehkrhekrhe

3 people to be tagged
1. Twinzmom
2. Nora
3. Ana

32 weeks check up

2006-07-15T01:53:00.000+08:00

Hi Sweetie,

Today mummy and daddy went for 32 weeks check. The doctor said your heart is beating well and your size is normal like any other 32 weeks baby. So from my opinion I am doing a pretty good job despite being diabetic. You are not too big at all. But I was told to take extra care of myself from now till 36 weeks. Both doctor said this is my crucial period. After 36 weeks I can deliver you anytime safely. I must make sure my glucose level is perfect and to monitor my blood pressure closely. I was told that during this period blood pressure can shoot up anytime and cause complications. The doctors are worried that my blood pressure will shoot up. They told me to rest and at any time they can give me mc. I can't leave my classes... am committed to finish the assignment.

I did not get any pictures of you :( The doctor always make a quick scan coz too much scan is not healthy. I saw your cute heart beat pumping steadily. While the doctor was measuring the circumference of your head, I saw a tiny hill.. I was figuring out what was it. I realize it's the tip of your nose!!! It was so cute.. geram mummy tengok...so cuteeee very tiny nose. heheheheheh

The great news of the day is that "You are in the right position!" You are no longer breech. Alhamdulillah.. so the chance of normal delivery is higher...yeayyy I am so happy and relieved. If I can recover quickly.. we can have so much fun together.

The doctors want to see mummy every 10 days. There are days where daddy have to work. I told daddy that I can go for check up myself and he can go to work. Daddy refused. He insist on going for check ups with me and to choose dates that he is available. Daddy loves to see you. He always look forward for our check up. Yup... daddy loves you very much. He always try his best to talk to you everyday. And I believe you love to hear him talk to you daily. Lately I love to stare at your daddy's face. I feel as if I am looking at you. I can still remember, during the first few months of pregnancy you like daddy. You definitely are daddy's boy!

After check we went to eat chicken rice at Bugis. Daddy is in chicken rice mood for the past few days. After that we went to Marina Bay, Millenia walk, Harbour Front and lastly Ten Mile Junction. We went air con hunting. Finally we get to buy air con at Ten Mile Junction which is about $500 cheaper than other places. Same model but with free installation etc. Everything covered. I told daddy to wait but he can't take it anymore. Our broken air con causes the electricity bill to shoot up.

Today mummy felt cramps around my tummy area every 2 hours. Maybe am just tired that's why I felt the cramps. So we go into labour after 36 weeks okay? You help mummy to make you healthy okay? See you in 5 to 8 weeks time.

Love you babe
Mummy

2006-07-12T21:31:00.000+08:00

I have 8 to 9 weeks left!!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Time flies...

2006-07-11T08:35:00.000+08:00

Hey baby,

Mummy have not been updating this blog for awhile. We have been busy with work and entertaining family and some events. Daddy working morning shift and mummy trying to have a good rest before going to work later.

Mummy's school was fine but the students in that school are generally slow. A lot of naughty students. Most of the trainers can't take it. So far there have been 2 incidents where mummy was scolding the students and you are making vigorous movements and my students saw you moving. When it happened to my Tuesday class.. most students mouth was opened.. they were shocked. As for my Monday class 3 girls was giggling away while looking at my tummy. Arghhh I had a hard time controlling my laughter and trying to be serious.

Daddy has been busy with tyres. These are tyres of his Suoerfour bike.

As for mummy.. am shocked my tummy grew so big after looking at the pictures. I think you have growing very fast. I think you are growing very rapidly after 30 weeks. I kick hard and at many areas. Uncle Mizi and Aunty Nadia had a shocked after feeling you moving inside my tummy. Your grandparents had a shocked after hearing your strong and loud heartbeat. Last Friday daddy's family came over to visit and to celebrate Uncle Mizi birthday. It were surprised everybody just appeared at the door. Luckily mummy cook extraa on that day. Mummy cooked rendang putri mandi (lauk org padang).

On Saturday evening, we went to NYDC at Holland village for dinner and desserts. Been craving for it for a long time. I started to crave for it when so many ppl told me that the cakes there was nice.

Whopper for daddy & whopper jr for mummy & baby

Mummy need to sleep.. later my love.

Alamak! Tagged by Nora...

2006-07-10T22:34:00.000+08:00

Hmmm who am I gonna tag next..

10 Favourites
Favourite Colour : lavender
Favourite Food : rojak buah
Favourite Song : roxette, I wish I could fly
Favourite Movie : nanny
Favourite Sport : swimming
Favourite Day of the Week : Friday
Favourite Ice Cream Flavour : Strawberry
Favourite Car Model : Jaguar
Favourite Subject in School : Principles of Management
Favourite Snacks : Fruit

9 Currents
Current Mood : Sleepy
Current Taste : Nausea.. just puke
Current Clothes : none
Current Toenail Colour : Natural
Current Time : 8:03am
Current Surroundings : Bedroom
Current Annoyance(s) : Sleep
Current Thoughts : Sleep sleep sleep

8 First(s)
First Best Friend : Suryath
First Crush : hahhahaa tak leh cakap!
First Movie : tak ingat
First Piercing : primary school
First Lie : tak ingat
First Music : should be twinkle twinkle little star
First Car : play mobil car
First Real Date Venue : khrekhrekhre

7 lasts
Last Drink : Cow's Milk
Last Car Ride : taxi ride at 7pm
Last "Movie Crush" : Superman the man who wears red underwear
Last Phone Call : last night my mum in law
Last Song Played : I wish I could fly, roxette
Last Food Ate : kerepek ubi
Last Thing I do before I go to sleep : tossing around the bed to get comfortable

6 Have You Ever(s)
Have you ever dated one of your best friends : meaning? my best friend bf? never..
Have you ever broken the law : of course la.. but minor one
Have you ever been arrested : nope by police..
Have you ever skinned dipped : bathtub ahhh
Have you ever been on TV : yeah.. video kawin muakakakka yeah i ever.. don't remember for what event.
Have you ever kissed someone you didn't know : yeah.. my friends' babies.. just born or met so don't know what

5 Things You Are Wearing
1) spectacle
2) none
3) none
4) none
5) none

4 Things You've Done Today
1) wake up
2) breakfast
3) pee
4) puke

3 Things You Can Hear Right Now
1) channel news asia
2) sound of the fan
3) my typing

2 Things You Can't Live Without
1) my handphone
2) my mogu kekekekekkeke

1 Thing You Do When You Are Bored
Disturb my hubby... disturb twinzmom.. disturb any human on msn

5 Beautiful Peeps to Carry On The Game
1) Twinzmom
2) Ana
3) Hazelee
4) Sassy Lady
5) Diana
and to other peeps peepingg here muahahhaha

Counting the weeks...

2006-06-28T04:08:00.000+08:00

Dear Baby

I can't sleep. Daddy is at work. I've been doing a lot of thinking. This week I'll be 30 weeks pregnant. So in 10 weeks time I will deliver you insya-Allah. I am excited to have you. But I also feel a bit scared and nervous as this will be my first time delivering a baby. We'll see how it goes. We must pray hard that everything will be fine.

Next week I have another assignment to teach in a school somewhere in Bt Panjang. After almost a month of rest, I'm going back to work again. Hmmmm .. I didn't feel I had a good rest. Been busy and been sick too. I'll be teaching Primary 4 students on how to create a website using Dreamweaver. The assignment will last for 4 weeks daily. Please baby.. help mummy be strong. I hope I will not fall sick or feel too tired. The walking distance from the LRT to the school is pretty far. Please don't make me deliver you in July. We'll wait for the whole assignment to be over and I will be ready to deliver you :) I know this is Almighty God's decision but it will be great if I can deliver in late August or early September. Daddy won't be around in July because he got to go for reservist. I want daddy to be with us when I give birth to you.

We'll see how it goes. Love you baby...

Regards
Mummy

Passing days...

2006-06-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

Dear Baby,

How are you doing today? We have a name for you but we decide to announce it when you are born. Only a few people know the name we have chosen for you. Today mummy had blocked nose, throat infection and fever. Daddy and mummy went to see the doctor and he said that the infection did not affect you since I only get infected yesterday. I am glad that I followed my instinct to see the doctor this morning. If you not it could have affected you.

From the previous blog, I mentioned that the we have been busy preparing for your arrival. We've been shopping for your essential stuff like towels, breast pump etc, we collect things from my friend Firdaus, Nani and Aunty Hawa also gave us a few things. They gave us stroller, walker, high chair, bouncer and a swing. And daddy still re-arranging your room and our house. It is is hobby. He has not found the perfect house arrangement yet. We are so lucky that there are people who wants to give us their stuff. We don't mind having second hand things because we foresee you will only use it for a short while. We would rather save our money for your education and HOLIDAYS! hehehehe Mummy and daddy loves to go for holidays especially snorkelling trips. And also daddy will be a sole-bread winner for 1-2 years before I can send you to childcare. I will take care of you myself for the first two years.

3rd anniversary was nothing exciting. Daddy was busy and stressed up about a few stuff. We manage to spend time together on the 24th June 2006. Yesterday, I watched our wedding video alone. In my previous blog, I promised to include some of our wedding pictures. But to think it back, we will still have the album when you grow up. So I capture a few shots from our video. It may not be so clear but these are a few shots that I wished the photographer had taken. Pictures of daddy during nikah is my favourite. Full of expressions. He was nervous and full of tension and after that full of relieve.... something like a feeling during delivery I think hehehehe. At first in pain coz of contractions and once the baby is out it will be full of relief. Lucky thing we have the video. I am with our wedding video service.

Nervous daddy during nikah.

Daddy 'lega' after nikah... look at his cute smiling face hehehehe

I think I look like my mum in this picture.

For the first time daddy feed me as a husband.

Below are the pictures taken after the wedding. After the ceremony on 22nd June 2006, we went to Changi Village for outdoor photo taking. It was fun! Aunty Hazelee will be wearing the same dress for her engagement in September 2006. She happens to take the same "Mak Andam" as mummy. During my wedding 3 mak andam help out for both days. I really appreciate their service.

The pink bouquet was given by daddy during nikah. I was surprised to receive it. I am always happy when daddy give me flowers. It really makes my day. HINT! HINT! to Daddy.

Well mummy and daddy been through thick and thin. Tough but we still love each other deeply and with your presence, you are the jewel of our hearts.

Love you forever and ever,

Mummy

3rd Wedding Anniversary

2006-06-21T15:36:00.000+08:00

Dear my darling baby,

Today is mummy and daddy's 3rd wedding anniversary and today you are 29 weeks in my tummy. Mummy and daddy been busy preparing for your arrival. I will update about it next time. Right now mummy updating this blog while cooking for daddy and your Uncle Mizi and Uncle Fendi. Your uncles slept over at our place because they help daddy to drill tyres to the wall. Daddy did not take leave to celebrate our 3rd wedding anniversary. He is saving it for you arrival. Usually we would celebrate our wedding anniversary by going for short snorkelling trip. I really miss snorkelling. We will bring you when you can swim maybe in 1-2 years time. As long as you can float it will do. Tonight we will be going for a school concert at Victoria Hall. Your cousin Eka will be performing. Daddy always wanted to watch school's military band. So this is part of my gift and of course the helicopter I bought for him a few weeks ago. I am not interested in military band but to make your daddy happy and to support my niece, I don't mind. I love both of them. Last night at midnight aunty Izan sms me to wish happy anniversary. So sweet of her to remember. I still remember on th eve of my nikah day, I have to wear the henna on my hands and legs. I was bored waiting for the henna to dry. Somehow I manage to tie her hands to my bed heehehe It was funny. I will never forget it. That's it for now. Before my ayam masak lemak cili api burn I better stop updating. I will upload some of my wedding photos later.

Love
Mummy

Enjoyable day with friends

2006-06-11T01:35:00.000+08:00

Hi Baby,

How are you feeling today? Today mummy's tummy was very comfortable. My belly button hurts, around my tummy rasa very the peritz and when I was in the shower I feel my lower abdomen feels very heavy. It was very uncomfortable. Despite feeling very uncomfortable since 6.30pm, I had fun. I met with a few old friends.

About 5 or even 7 years ago, we usually go out in a group with no bf or gf. But today almost everybody with wife, husband and kids! We had dinner at China Square Central Banquet after that hang around at Boat Quay and last we went for a drink at Mc Donald. Below are some of the pictures of mummy's friend. Poor daddy... nobody took his picture because he's the one who took my friends' pic. And thanks to daddy for spending time with me and my friends. Pictures of scenery taken by daddy I will update it on Monday.

Love
Mummy

title apa tah...

2006-06-03T17:09:00.000+08:00

Hi Sweety Pie,

How are you doing? Today you have been in my tummy for 26 weeks and 3 days. Daddy and I may not go anywhere today. He wants to go to a wedding tomorrow instead. We have been busy going out for the past few days. Let me see if I can recall what we have been doing...

Yesterday, Friday, I stayed at home while daddy works in the morning. Nothing much happened. You kicked very strongly a few times. But when I eat something you kept quiet.

On Thursday, we went to Mothercare sales. Did not buy anything there. I find some of items are more expensive than department stores. After that bought some food at Beach Road for your 3 cousins at Bedok. Daddy and I went to Yishun cinema for 8.55pm movie. Daddy in the mood for Hindi movie for the past few days. We watched Fanaa. Nice show. We reached home at about 12am. At about 4am u kicked me hard. You kicked for about 3 hours. It was painful till I am in tears. I did not know what went wrong. Finally I had my breakfast at 7am, you stopped kicking. I guessed you must be hungry.

On Wednesday, my dad's close friend passed away. We went to pay our last respect and we met a few my dad's old friends. Everybody was happy about me being pregnant. At about 2pm we head to Johor to settle some stuff my sister. Your 3 cousins came along. After I settled the arrangements for her, daddy decided he wants to eat at A&W. We asked for directions. The new A&W outlet is located near Giant Pelentong. After about 2 hours drive we still couldn't find A&W. I was tired and your cousins are so tired that they fell asleep. We gave up and eat at Domino Pizza at Giant Pelentong. On the way out of the building, I saw the same helicopter I bought for daddy. It cost only RM$100 and I bought for him at Kiddies' Palace Singapore for SGD$99 after discount!!!! What a difference! The material are all the same, the brand is the same ... it was the same thing! I guess toys at JB are cheaper than Singapore. sigh.... We decided to go home. While driving on a road nearby Giant Pelentong, daddy saw A&W located at BP petrol station. He was shocked but happy. He said we can go next time since we are full. I insist to go to A&W immediately because daddy have been craving for it for a long time. So we went and ordered hot dogs, root beer float, waffle and curly fries. Root beer float and waffle was superb! The hot dog was a disappointment. The sauce was too dry. We packed the unfinished food and headed straight home.

I can only remember these few activities we did. I let daddy continue if he have the time.

Love you heaps
Mummy

Just to make me happy...

2006-05-28T19:07:00.000+08:00

Hey all,

I have a quiz for you. Guess where are the pictures taken.
a. India
b. Singapore
c. Malaysia
d. Indonesia
e. Others: please specify_____________________

2006-05-26T20:32:00.000+08:00

Dear Baby,

Today mummy a bit grouchy and slack. Still feel tired because last Wednesday I went out the whole day and lots of walking. I've been doing lots of laundry and washing today. I can't wait to go swimming again. I made a date with daddy to go swimming next Tuesday. Daddy just smiled and asked me if am sure. He asked can I survive after my morning class on Monday and Tuesday. I don't know what to answer. I just smiled. But I really hope I can survive so that I can go swimming again. When I swim I always imagine that I am snorkling but too bad there's not corals or fishes for me to look at. I did not imagine hard enough to visualize fishes in the pool. *smile*

Last night was horrible. I manage to sleep at about 4 or 5am. My whole body itch. It happens to me almost everday but last night's itch was horrible. I feel angry and irritated. I hope I will not have problems next week because I will be having morning classes.

Last night I cried. I was confused. Thinking about hospital and so on. I prefer single bed because I've seen so many patients who admitted in 4 bedded or more being mistreated or did not get proper treatment. I do admit I am fussy about service. But mummy and daddy comes from a very different background. His family seems to prefer I choose the cheapest hospital and ward. I was even told off by his family member about this. I know I should not tell you about this but I just need to let it out of my chest. And I am sure when you grow up you will notice the behaviour or routine of each of our family. So you better have your own principles and think by yourself what you want in life. I don't expect you to follow the routine of my family or daddy's family. I will respect your wish as long as it is sensible and safe. Mummy even kept quiet when I was told off about the choice of hospital. I don't want to create any problem.

Mummy sometimes can see the other world, I also taken care of a few people in the hospital like my dad, my uncle, grandma etc and I am very particular in treating people well and providing good service. Maybe because I am trained in providing good service when I was taking my diploma. Due to all this, I get worked up when nurses did not take care of patients properly. Now I will be staying in hospital to deliver you so I am worried that they will not handle you properly, worried that they did do a proper job on me coz I am diabetic and also worried I can see the other world. Daddy got fed up with me last night. He said that if I always think of the worst I will get the worst. hmmm maybe I've been disappointed too many times for the past years. So I don't have any high expectation at all. I purposely set my expectation level to zero so that even a tiny nice thing happen I will appreciate it greatly. Different people have different expectation. I may think I did a good job and I did what matters most. To some people I may not be good enough and thinks that he did a better job, which I think otherwise. I never condemn a person for not doing things up to my expectation and I learnt not to comment when it is not good enough. I learnt to accept as what it is. I believe I have a bigger heart now that I can accept people's flaws and I can let comment about me without being angry. It is tough. Sometimes it affects me till I cry. Sometimes it accumulates anger in me. But anger is the work of Syaitan. I always try to control it. To me a weak person is the one who always burst in anger and behave in the Syaitan manner.

Anyway, about the hospital we have set our mind to Mt Alvernia and will be taking two bedded or 4 bedded.. it all depends. If normal delivery I'll take two bedded and if c-sect I'll choose 4 bedded. It is all not about the pain. It is all about the effects of the nurses action which sometimes can lead to permanent damage. Trust me.. it happened to a few old people I know. Poor thing. Feel like slapping the nurses on the spot. But I did complaint and the hospital and doctors took action againsts the nurses.

I am also worried about your future. About your studies and character. I think it is a norm. This is one of the reason I watch less news or forum on TV. Whenever they talk about Singapore education system, I get stressed up. I've been reading a few books and did a few online stress and depression level test. Well..hmmm ... I think all these things got to do with my hormones. Most books say it is common and even after birth women can experience depression. It is not I have no faith in Almight Allah but it is me to ensure everything goes well. I am the sort who wants to the best for my loved ones.

I love you my sweetheart. I can't wait to go for a scan in 3 weeks time.

Hugz
Mummy

Fruitful days..

2006-05-25T18:59:00.000+08:00

Dear Baby,

Mummy has been happily spending my time with my friend and doing things I have not done for so long. Yesterday, I went out shopping with my friend, Twinzmom. It has been a long time we have not gone out alone together. Most of the time with other friends, with her husband and kids, and daddy. Yesterday was really a girls outing. We had fun. She felt single when we were out together but I can't feel single because you kept on kicking me. *smile* She is really a great close friend, we are almost like sisters. Many years ago my father allowed me to go holiday for the first time just to watch over Twinzmom. hehehehee I think my dad thought Twinzmom still too young and innocent to go holiday on her own *LOL* Twinzmom pick me up at our place. I felt so touched. She actually willing to pick me up to ensure my safety. Daddy always worried if I am out alone. Most of the time I will go out with daddy when he is free. While we were eating at Lot 1, I suddenly missed daddy. Maybe it is your feelings. I feel that daddy is not there to finish my food and immediately after that I lost my appetite. Or maybe I badly wants to eat french fries because I dreamt that your grandmother's house is full of french fries. *LOL* Funny but a very nice dream. We talked about the past, the present and future. Just like old times. We had nice cake and drinks at coffee bean West Mall. And we had lots of fun teasing each other. Alhamdulillah, I guess Twinzmom and I are able to understand each other well and never take it to heart when we tease each other. She is indeed a kind lady and a sweet one too.

Last Tuesday, we went to a few places. We went to Aunty Ita's place to catch up and after that to your grandparents. After spending time about 2 hours, daddy and I went for a swim at Chevron, Jurong. I had fun. I felt the sense of satisfaction. I love to swim. I love water. I love to snorkle. We swam for about 2 hours. It was fun. After that we head back to your grandparents to catch up with Uncle Nazri and have dinner together. Chevron was a very clean and nice place. But the area for below 1.5m was small. Most of the depth are deep. But I don't mind as long as the toilet is clean. *smile* It was a fun day. I was really happy daddy finally bring me out for a swim.

Love
-Mummy-

A special update

2006-05-25T13:41:00.000+08:00

This is entry is not for my baby. This is for my friend, Twinzmom. I am too lazy too create another blog. So this one will not be printed for my baby.

Yesterday early in the morning I sms Twinzmom just to kacau. She then told me that she will be on mc and we could go out. I was thinking why not and decided to meet for lunch. Yeah right lunch.. she was at my place by 9.30am. Gosh! She miss me so much krhekrhekhrkehrke *jangan meluat* LOL! She wants to use the internet to send some emails to work.

We went to Lot One and after that West Mall. She wants to buy a khaki or a cream coloured top. So we hunt for it at these two places. I thought I want to call another friend, Seri Mayasari, to join us. But knowing her a very hardworking person, we forget it. She might be working. So the two of us spent about half a day together. As usual when we GPP are together sure got kerja bodoh happened! heheheeheh I will only what she did in this entry hahahaha

While we were in the mrt to go to West Mall, I told Twinzmom that long time we have not ride on the mrt together and there's nobody to "spot" Right after I said that Twinzmom said "Eh cuma 2 stesen or bus stesen (I don't exactly remember what she exactly said)" I told her yeah... "Later when you want to alight you can press the bell." I giggled. As usual she tried to act cool.

The next funny thing is that she wants to redeem $1 for the single trip ezlink ticket. We went to the ezlink machine at Bt Batok. She was trying to put the ezlink inside the atm slot. I told her that's for atm. She tried again. She thought I tried to trick her. I told her again that's for atm. And then she realized that she tried to put in the wrong slot. She tried to put it in atm slot instead of ezlink slot. hahahahahah I laughed and she tried to maintain cool. She said excuse herself coz she's on drug(medication she got from doctor). hhehehehehe

It was a coincidence when she was pregnant we went to West Mall together and now am pregnant we went to West Mall again. I guess it is a place every pregnant women tend to visit. heheheh I like the stuff at Tom and Stephanie.

Later after tired of walking and shopping, we have a drink and ate a cake at Coffee Bean. While we were laughing she accidentally turned and look at a tomboy who happens to walking beside us. That tomboy just stop and look at her. After that she look a bit panic. 20mins later that tomboy walked pass us again and turn around to look at her again. heheheh Twinzmom soooo attractive *LOL*

Here are some pictures of twinzmom.

BURRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Strict Mummy!

2006-05-19T05:17:00.000+08:00

Dear Baby,

It's 5.15am. I get to sleep about one hour. The weather is too warm. With the air con and the fan on it doesn't help at all. While trying hard to sleep again, I remembered about a few people offering to take care of you as long as I paid them.

I don't think that will ever happen. I will not let anybody take care of you except a good childcare centre. Childcare centres teachers are well trained. I will definitely choose a good place for you. My criteria include hygiene, manners, communication skills, safety of the centre, the influences of the centre and other things.

One of daddy's relative offered to take care of you so that she can stop working and be a housewife. She got two kids on her own. I don't like the idea. I did not reply to her suggestions. I understand that different family have different family values and expectations. The reason I don't want the relative to take care of you because I don't want to blame her if you have pick up a bad habit or attitude. If you pick up a bad habit or attitude and I'm the one who take care of you full time, I will blame myself if your wrong doing is because of my disciplining skills or even parenting skills.

At the same time, I also do not want to take care of other people's children. I don't want them to blame me if anything goes wrong and I want to concentrate on you alone. The first seven years of your life is very important. This is when I input you with good habits, character and discipline. I don't want any outside influences to affect your up bringing. I admit that I may not be the best mother in the world. There will be a few things I am lacking of but at least I am satisfied with my own way of bringing you up. The character, personality and attitude you going to have maybe from me or your daddy.

I am a strict person by nature. Your bedok cousins and my students know about mummy being a strict person. I can be nice person that anybody can crack a joke with. But when it comes to discipline, character, personality and attitude I am very strict about it. For example, if I call you and you did not answer me immediately, I'll get angry. By doing that I will feel you are not being attentive.

I might give you 3 chances if you make a mistake. After the 3rd chance you will have to face the music. When I say I am going to punish someone, I will really do it. I will not just say it to scare you. I don't do that. Even if you cry, I won't be lenient. One of your cousin like to cry whenever I said no to her. She always use this trick to her mother too. I let her cry. I let her sulk. I give her sometime to show tantrum. Within one hour I will talk to her and explain to her about my act. I will talk some senses to her. Eventually she understand and everything is fine. Most of the time when they are naughty, I will just look at them with a firm face and immediately they know that they did something wrong. All of them will tell each other to behave well. Of course there are occasions where they are just stubborn. I will be firm and talk to them, sometimes I do raise my voice, and eventually they will understand my act too.

I think by now you should know my style. I guess you will be about 11 to 12 years old when you read this. Your daddy is strict too. I've seen him scold his nephews. I don't know who is more strict me or daddy. It is all up to you to decide. By now you might know who are more particular about certain things.

I just want you to know even if I turn out to be the Lion Queen, I will always love you with all my heart.

-Mummy_

Cravings

2006-05-18T21:17:00.000+08:00

Hi darling,

Mummy have been craving since yesterday. Whatever people eat.. I want to eat it too. Yesterday I watched Nanny eating ice cream from a certain kind of tall glass. I want ice cream in the tall glass too. So today mummy persuade daddy to go to Swensen's to eat ice cream. I know that Swensen's have that tall glass too. When daddy placed order, he asked if the ice cream is in that kind on glass. The waitress was surprised with the question. And she said yes. I felt so embarrassed. Maybe she thinks that I am weird. Anyway it was nice eating the ice cream. Feel so content. Daddy always laugh at me. He said I am naturally funny in my own way. I usually don't realized when I did something funny or out of this world...

hmmmm....

Love
Mummy