1st Pregnancy

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Sob sob sob

Dear Baby,

These few days mummy feeling blue. I don't know why. I think I need to inform my doctor in case I am experiencin depression. I cry easily and get worry over nothing. I hid myself at home. Now home alone waiting for daddy to come back from afternoon shift.

I cried a few times today. In the morning I cried about something and it got nothing to do with me. Late afternoon, I read stories about labour and I feel so touched that I cried a few times. In fact after every touching story. I also begin to think about touching stuff.. ahhh mummy so feeling don't know why.

Just before Maghrib my sister call up and ask me if I want to join her for tahlil at Jurong. I refused. I just want to be alone. So far I have not contacted any of my friends and did not talk much. Keep to myself most of the time. Maybe am stressed out because I know I have to.... hmmm I don't want to talk about it. I just don't want to meet certain people because I don't want to be hurt. I even thought of changing my assistant but it will give him a lot of trouble.

Or maybe I am too worried about your character. I read and watched documentary that if I am depressed during pregnancy, my baby will be an anxious baby. I don't want you to be anxious. I don't want you to be temperamental. If you are temperamental you might hurt other people feelings which may lead to sin.

arghhh mummy super sensitive these days. Prefer to be alone. So my dear baby if you gonna be a boy, when you get married, you must understand your wife's mood swings. And my dear baby if you turn out to be a baby girl, if you have mood swings, please tell your husband so that he understands.

Love you heaps
Mummy