Hi baby,

Today mummy and daddy went for your detail scan. Today you are 23 weeks. The doctor scanned your heart, head, kidney, penis, spine and other parts of your body. The doctor said you are healthy. But I noticed that at the doctor's memo, he wants to scan your heart again. I am worried. I know the doctor's style. He will not say anything until it is confirmed something is wrong. When he did the scan, his assistant writes down the measurement etc. The doctor said you are in breech position. He said if is it still breech when it is time to deliver, I have to do the c-sect. Erghhhh if possible I don't want to c-sect because I am diabetic and it will take a longggg time to heal. I really hope you will turn to a position where I can deliver you normally.

I tried to remain cool. I tried not to think about the doctor's memo. But I just can't help it. I was stressed out. After maghrib I broke down and cried. I know the doctor have not told me anything yet. But if everything is okay.. why does he need to scan your heart again? Why did he kept quiet when the nurse asked about your kidney? Why the doctor can't even look at my face when I asked him questions. Only Allah can help me. I always pray for your health.

Daddy is very optimistic. He told me that I am only 23 weeks pregnant and he said you will turn when the time is near. Daddy also told me maybe from the scan the doctor can't see clearly. Therefore he needs to do it again. I hope daddy is right.. but the doctor's silence and body language makes me worry. He's been my doctor for 5 years.. I sort of know his style.

Arghhhh so much things to worry and think about. I really cannot depend on anybody about this. Only Almighty Allah can help me. I've been on my own for these few months. I did not contact my friends or families. I need a peace of mind. I don't want my worries affect other people. I even avoided some phone calls from families so that I won't get confused and worry even more. I just need time for peace and time to think. I hope the people around me understand.

Oh yess about the tembam thing... During the scan, the doctor got a good view of your face. You have chubby cheeks! I can't wait to touch you. You really look very cute insya-Allah. Daddy only notice your nose. Daddy said your nose looks like his! I think that your face look like me when I was a baby. We'll see who you look like after I give birth to you *smile*

Lots of love from,

Mummy

Below are the pictures of today's scan:

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