1st Pregnancy

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Why me?

Dear Baby,

How are you doing? I hope you are doing fine and remain healthy always. Mummy's health has not been good.

On Monday I managed to solve my training matters so I arranged for an earlier appointment on Tuesday. I do feel tired because I was busy for the past few weeks, everday I felt some pain around my tummy and abdomen area. I did not realised I was so stressed. The students in that school were slow and have very poor discipline. Everyday I have to be firm with them. I scolded a few classes in a week. My body tells me to stop. I managed to negotiate with my director.

On Tuesday I happily went for my appointment with daddy, as we always look forward to see you. Usual routine, I have to check my weight and urine. I only increase less than 1 kg. All these while I don't have any blood pressure problem and I don't have any protein in my urine. During pregnancy my hormone doctor did a protein test. He was happy about my condition. But fate is not on my side on Tuesday. My blood pressure was very high and I have protein in my urine. Daddy did not understand the sudden change in my body. Where did the protein comes from? As for the blood pressure, it may be due to the stressful weeks I had gone through. My gynae was very concerned. He asked me to check with my hormone doctor about my blood pressure. He wants to see if there is any changes. Indeed the blood pressure kept on rising. I went back to my gynae. He told me to go home and rest and to come back the next day. He said if things don't get better I have to be warded. I know what they are worried about. I know they are worried that I will pre-eclempsia. I've done a bit of reading during my early pregnancy and I thought I will not experience this. But the gynae prefer not to tell yet so that I won't get stressed.

Daddy was worried. But I know you are safe. It's my life which is at stake. The doctor checked your heartbeat and few test. You did very well. Daddy was worried because on Thursday he got to go for training and next week for 5 days he got to go for reservist. I told him that the doctor will confirm if I have to be admitted on Wednesday and we'll see how it goes. He can still go for his training on Thursday because the hospital staff will take care of me. As for reservist we just have to see how it goes. If I have to deliver by next week, he needs to defer it. No choice.

On Wednesday morning, I got up early to get ready. Daddy was on the way home from night shift. I packed my toiletries and whatever necessary document. We had breakfast at home and we go to the hospital about 9.30am When I'm there I was told to check my protein and rest in the observation room. I had protein in my urine. After 30minutes of resting, my blood pressure still high. The nurse asked me to rest. I just need to feel at ease. So I SMS Aunty Lina and Aunty Izan to disturb them. Later a nurse came in and I asked her about Ventolin. On Tuesday the doctor gave me Ventolin for tummy cramps. I noticed that the baby is not so active. Usually the baby will wake up in the morning. The nurse decided to check your heart rate. I was on ctg for 30 mins. When am done, the gynae came in. He checked my blood pressure. He said it's okay. Not too high.

We went to one of his consultation room. He told me to lower my expectation. I was blur. I asked him what expectation. He said I have to go through c-sect. I told him if possible I want normal delivery because being diabetic I will take a longer time to heal. He said that's why he told me to lower my expectation. I cannot expect everything to go smoothly. He said there is high chance I have to go through c-sect. He don't want to wait until the baby is ripe to go through normal delivery because I will put my baby in danger. He also don't want me to go through normal delivery because he don't want me to have seizures and risk my life. He said having the wound to heal slowly is a small matter. This is a more serious matter. Damnnn.. I don't care about my life. I just want to save my baby's life. Seems like I have to go through c-sect. Hopefully I can maintain a good blood pressure and no protein till my 36 weeks. My gyne wants to plan a c-sect with my hormone doctor. They will plan together and they really hope they can do it after my 36 weeks. They don't want me to deliver before 36 weeks because they want to make sure the baby's condition is very stable. Baby.. please be strong. Please save your life. Tell mummy if you are not okay. The doctor will be able to detect if anything goes wrong. Insya-Allah everything will be fine.

My next appointment is this Friday. Next week onwards my appointment will be 3 times a week. I did not even think about the medical bills because I am more concern about your safety. My gynae is a very kind man. He didn't even charge me for my consultation. He even gave me protein strips for me to test at home for free. He only charged CTG for $20 by right it costs $50! He told me he will charge me minimal because I have to see him often and I need to do CTG frequently. He has always been so kind. He's been my doctor since 2002. Before I got married, he helped me with polycystic ovarian problem and removed some polyps. I noticed he always concern about prices. He even shooked his head when he found out that my hormone doctor charges consultation fees everytime I see the hormone doctor. My gynae feels that I will see them often and I shouldn't be charged so high.

I hope everything will be fine. You will be a safe. Now mummy resting at home. I really want to go for a swim but daddy is very busy. My gynae told me not to go for a swim alone. Maybe later I will cut my hair. I planned to cut my hair before I give birth so that I won't look so messy.

To my dear friends out there. Can give me tips on what to prepare before I go for c-sect? I will be on my own and with my hubby's only. Any tips?

Thanks

Love
Mummy