1st Pregnancy

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Ohhh..my baby.. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Dear baby,

Last night I was touched by your gestures. Mummy was very sick last night. Mummy's temperature was between 39.8 and 40.5 degrees celcius. There was also blood in mummy's poop. I was feeling very cold and sick. Daddy gave me 2 panadols but it doesn't help. Mummy thought after I put you to sleep I will go to the 24 hours clinic myself. After daddy fast asleep, mummy still breastfeeding you. Everytime you fall asleep you will open your eyes and look at me. I know you are very sleepy but I can sense that you were just checking on me. I am not sure why you kept on checking on me. You did it till 5am. Is it because you afraid I will go out and leave you at home or is it you are worried that I am very sick? Finally at 5.30am you get too tired and cranky. I am too sick to carry you so I woke daddy up. Daddy very sleepy too. Maybe because he works morning shift and we've been entertaining guests for a few days. I forced daddy to wake up and he took care of you till next morning.

In the morning you and daddy sent me to the clinic. We checked the rashes on your chin too. The doctor diagnosed me with stomach flu virus and haemorrhoid. Till now mummy still feel the pain in my stomach. When were at home and after I took the medication, 3 of us fell asleep. Yes daddy slept again! Now you just fell asleep. I am beside you typing. I know I can't leave you alone because I know you will cry when you don't see me beside you.

My dear son.. if you did not sleep well because you took care of your sick mummy last night.... I would like to thank you. And I love you very much. I also notice that whoever makes me sad, you wouldn't want that person to carry you. You will cry and want me to be with you. Maybe you can feel I am sad and you want to be by my side. I never tell anyone about this. Your grandma ever told me out of the blue when I was still in confinement that you might be able to feel when I am sad. It is the mother and child bonding. Maybe it is the truth in her beliefs.

I am in pain now. I need to rest and be by your side. Take care and I love you.

Hugs
Mummy