1st Pregnancy

Saturday, November 01, 2008

I love you

Dear daughter,
Next week I will be delivering you by c-sect. You are in breech position and my having high blood pressure. Baby.. mummy very sorry. I know through out the pregnancy mummy have not been happy. It's not that mummy and daddy don't want you but mummy and daddy facing too much problems. We are facing so much financial difficulties up to the extend we rent out our house and we are living at our relatives place. Mummy tried to work in October but failed. Mummy was too sick and tired. Lately mummy has been feeling very tired. Life is tough. Maybe it is fated that women's life will be tough. All the challenges mummy faced during pregnancy is beyond my control. Daddy wants us to go separate ways and mummy still hoping he will change his mind after seeing you. I really love your daddy. I want daddy to be with us forever. To mummy daddy play an important part in raising children. I really believe in father's love. Mummy trying to change to suit daddy's life. But mummy can't stop myself from defending the truth. I have to do this to protect my children. I don't want you and your brother will get hurt. To me your self confidence is very important.

I hope whatever mummy gone through makes you a strong person. It is not easy being a woman. Well that's life. I am excited and scared to have you in my world. Excited to have a daughter but scared about our future. I believe you and your brother will make mummy a strong person. I really hope you will be a happy baby. I don't want my sorrows affect you in anyway. I know how a pregnant mother feels will affect it's baby. If things don't turn out well, I really blame myself and maybe partly I will blame daddy. But I hope I won't blame daddy. It's not my style to blame other people.

I have to go. I love you.