Saturday, November 01, 2008

I love you

Dear daughter,
Next week I will be delivering you by c-sect. You are in breech position and my having high blood pressure. Baby.. mummy very sorry. I know through out the pregnancy mummy have not been happy. It's not that mummy and daddy don't want you but mummy and daddy facing too much problems. We are facing so much financial difficulties up to the extend we rent out our house and we are living at our relatives place. Mummy tried to work in October but failed. Mummy was too sick and tired. Lately mummy has been feeling very tired. Life is tough. Maybe it is fated that women's life will be tough. All the challenges mummy faced during pregnancy is beyond my control. Daddy wants us to go separate ways and mummy still hoping he will change his mind after seeing you. I really love your daddy. I want daddy to be with us forever. To mummy daddy play an important part in raising children. I really believe in father's love. Mummy trying to change to suit daddy's life. But mummy can't stop myself from defending the truth. I have to do this to protect my children. I don't want you and your brother will get hurt. To me your self confidence is very important.

I hope whatever mummy gone through makes you a strong person. It is not easy being a woman. Well that's life. I am excited and scared to have you in my world. Excited to have a daughter but scared about our future. I believe you and your brother will make mummy a strong person. I really hope you will be a happy baby. I don't want my sorrows affect you in anyway. I know how a pregnant mother feels will affect it's baby. If things don't turn out well, I really blame myself and maybe partly I will blame daddy. But I hope I won't blame daddy. It's not my style to blame other people.

I have to go. I love you.

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posted by Luft & Thea at 1:48 PM 0 comments

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I love you

Dear Son,

I am aware that I have not been writing for a long time. Too many things happened. Mummy have been sad for months. I have been thinking if I should always write happy moments or to tell you the truth even it is painful. After much thinking, I should tell you the truth because I want you to grow up to be a man. At the moment is 36 weeks pregnant. We are expecting a baby girl. But sad to say daddy didn't seem happy at first. A lot of pressure between us. Daddy wants me and daddy to go on separate ways. But I love you to much to let you grow up without a father. To me father's love is very important. I am trying my best to suit daddy's expectation as a wife. But I know I cannot be a nice wife anymore. Meaning defending the truth and protecting you when something goes wrong. From my point of view mummy and daddy are adults. No matter how difficult life is, we should be able to face it. But you and your expected baby sister are young children. You have no sin. You have no right to suffer. You should be enjoying life. Live as a kid. But whatever happens after I give birth to your baby sister, I vow that I will try my best to bring both of you up. I maybe away from you and your future sister often because I have to work. But we have to be apart because we need money to survive. Even if mummy and daddy still together forever, mummy still need to work because we are facing a lot of financial difficulties and mummy need to save money again in case there is an emergency.

Whatever it is I want you to know that I love you very much. Frankly, my health is not in good situation. I do not know if I can survive during delivery or not. But I always pray so that I can live until you grown up. I don't want you to grow up without a mother or father. Parents play an important role in a child's life. Past few months we lived with your aunty hawa. But things are too rough there. I don't want you to get sick or hurt all the time. To me your self confidence is very important. Now we are staying with uncle adam. But i don't know why, we are more broke here. Financially in trouble. Mummy will delivering your sister next week. I have no confidence in our maid to take care of you when I am away. Yesterday you almost hit your head twice due to her negligence. Lucky you know how to save yourself. Mummy & daddy enrol you to gym class when you were 6mths was worth it. Mummy definitely will enrol for your sister. You learnt how to fall properly and save yourself from hitting your head. I am glad you still remember how to protect yourself. Now you are 27mths old and yet you can still remember what you've learnt. I am so proud of you. Daddy did not see what happened. I just wished he saw all the dangerous things happened to you. I just want him to be more vigilant. You are only 27mths old.. you need to be monitored closely.

My son, Fa'iz Hilman, I love you very much. You are my strength for me to go on. You are the reason for me to live. Almighty God let me have you as a gift in my life. Now your sister will be around to make mummy more stronger. I love your daddy very much. I am aware that he can be very difficult and cold at times. Daddy have his own good qualities. Both of us start our marriage in a wrong direction. I was to engrossed in pleasing him and he was to engrossed in other matters. I just want you to know I love all our family including atuk hassan, nenek jun and all my nieces and nephew. I love you very much Fa'iz Hilman.

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posted by Luft & Thea at 12:10 PM 0 comments

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Friday, July 18, 2008

Me... me.. me..me..

Always up to something..

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posted by Luft & Thea at 10:33 PM 0 comments

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Hilman latest pic..

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posted by Luft & Thea at 7:39 PM 0 comments

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

21 mths 2 weeks old

Yeayyyyy I can speak more and more. Mummy and daddy always respond that what I am saying but I am not sure they understand or not.

I can say:
Jalan-jalan
gi shiop (shop)
what's that?
what's this?
play here


I can also identify more animals and things. Mummy always praise me for being helpful. I like to help bibik and mummy to do things. I like to serak-serak my toys too hehehehehe I am more choosy about food. Mummy upset I don't want to eat vegetables anymore. But I don't like it. What can I do? I still love fruits. At the moment I love nasi ayam & nasi beriyani.. yum yum.. I like rice with flavour.

I'll be staying with my twin cousins. I am so excited. I have friends to play with everyday. Some of my toys are at bedok. I think I going to have younger sibling. Mummy always let me play with her tummy. I am still curious what is inside my mummy's tummy.

Catch up soon!

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posted by Luft & Thea at 7:10 PM 0 comments

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Saturday, May 03, 2008

Oooooooohhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhh hhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?????????

hmmmmmmmmm mummy tummy getting bigger. Mummy & daddy kept on saying I am going to have adik soon and I am going to be abang. Mummy always show to me small human picture... I think it's called baby. But these little humans no shame, always not wearing anything. Not even a diaper! I think mummy tummy 9 weeks old already. Mummy just found out she have something in her tummy on 29 April 2008. On 30th April I saw a lot of red liquid on mummy's dress. I said "eeee!" and pointed to mummy's dress. That's how she know there's so much red liquid. I think it's called blood. Mummy panicked and mummy called daddy. Mummy cleaned herself. Daddy came back from night shift work and he took a bathe. After that mummy rushed to the hospital with daddy. Lucky thing the little human being is fine. The heart is pumping strong.

Am not sure if mummy is going to create a blog for 'adik'. Mummy always feels tired and sick. Mummy also stressed up to the max. There might be some changes. Mummy and baby condition may not be stable. We might live somewhere with mummy's sister so that somebody can look after mummy and me. We'll see how it goes.

As for me I have been an active boy. I drawn all over my house. I can say more words but still pelat. I really don't know how should I feel about having adik. I guess I may not understand what it is all about. Mummy did not get a chance to feel happy for some reasons. She is too occupied with something. But I know mummy love her children very much. Mummy always kiss me when I am sleeping. Mummy always admire me when I am sleeping. I pray mummy can remain calm with all the things she is going through. Love mummy, love hilman..love all.......

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posted by Luft & Thea at 5:48 AM 0 comments

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Monday, March 17, 2008

Mickey Mouse Fan

Dear Son,

On the 15th of March 2008 we went to Disney On Ice show at the Singapore indoor stadium. Daddy bought the $62 ticket. Daddy also chose a perfect seat for us. I was unsure if you will sit still or understand the whole show. and guess what... U DID ENJOY THE SHOW! You wouldn't even let us adjust or change your seat. You sat that on our lap concentrating during the whole show. But during intermission, you are your usual self. You run around the indoor stadium, climbing the stairs up and down and daddy chase after you. Mummy bought the $12 cotton candy and about $15 popcorn (can't really remember how much). You cried only once during the show. Thank goodness it was during the finale you cried. You were shocked to hear the loud explosion.

We bought for you Mickey & Minnie figurines and a colouring book. Daddy told me that when I was in the toilet, you stand infront of the souveniers booth and kept on looking at the figurines.

At home you kept on spinning and turning until you get dizzy hehehehehe. You were immitating the disney on ice character. Lately we did have a lot of fun together. During the school holiday Mummy didn't work for 4 days. We spent a lot of time together. Now mummy is looking forward for our first holiday trip... yipeeeeeeeeeeeee

love & kisses,
Mummy

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posted by Luft & Thea at 9:11 AM 3 comments

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Sunday, March 02, 2008

I gonna be 19mths in 3 days time!

I do miss all of you. A lot of things. I just let the pictures & video http://www.youtube.com/luftiah do the talking.





*peace*
hugs.. Fa'iz Hilman

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posted by Luft & Thea at 4:15 PM 2 comments

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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

A Mickey Mouse Fan

Last week I saw Mickey Mouse picture in the newspaper while daddy was reading it. I was behind daddy and I ran around the couch to look at the picture. Daddy was reading another page and I flip the newspaper to find the picture. I pointed Mickey Mouse picture to daddy. Daddy showed me Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse picture too. But I was not interested. I am only interested in Mickey Mouse. For a few days I showed the picture to Mummy. Finally Mummy and daddy decided to bring me to Parkway Parade to look at Mickey Mouse. I watched Mickey Mouse from 1st floor. The show was at Basement 1. Mummy asked daddy to go basement 1 so that I can watch closer. But I did not understand Mummy's plan. I cried very loudly when daddy pulled me from railing. I held the railing tightly. Mummy coaxed until basement 1 but failed. When I heard the Mickey Mouse song I kept quiete. Mummy and daddy let me take pictures with Mickey Mouse. Mummy bought the Mickey doll which more than $20 so that I can take pictures with Mickey.

(Mummy da lama type.. tapi tak publish)

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posted by Luft & Thea at 1:27 PM 1 comments

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Monday, November 19, 2007

Thanks to Hilman..hmmpph! or ?

Dear Son,

Mummy has been busy working. Sorry for not updating your blog. I do miss you. Sometimes I will miss you so much that I cried. But mummy got to do what mummy got to do... Since mummy stopped working, you've been very clingy to me. You are at my breast 70% of the time. Due to that I have breast milk again! I planned to stop breastfeeding when you are 2 years old.

Just a quick list of that what you can do by now.. you are 1 year 3months & 2 weeks..

1. Climb
2. Get down from bed and sofa
3. Bite until mummy's arm blue black
4. Baby talk (really long story)
5. Waves bye bye
6. Kiss
7. Slap
8. Punch
9. Grab
10. Kicks a ball
11. Ride on your kiddy rides by himself
12. Knock on the door
13. Deep interest in fixing things.. he have spanner, 2 hammer, screwdriver, nuts etc Recently he tried to fix a switched off fan kekekekek.. kesian sungguh-sungguh dia.
14. Sleep very late
15. Prone to head injury
16. Will shake his head when he refuse a food
17. He love fruits very much
18. Loves his daddy very much. Always want to menyelet.
19. His favourite word "Yaben!" whatever it means.
20. When bored he will say "jaln..jaln.. jaln" and stand near the gate.
21. Words he can say (I spell the way he pronounce it) : da bis, some more, mamam, mainean, eva (my maid), nyenyek, dad, atouk, nak, nyaman
22. When Hilman in the stroller and finish eating his biscuit.. he will raise his hand signaling he wants more biscuit.
23. Learning how to put on socks & shoes.
24. Musically inclined. Plays drum & bonggo well
25. He likes to jump in the swimming pool.
26. He immitates very fast.
27. He knows how to switch on & off the TV and fan.
28. He have a new sweetheart which is his Atok. He loves his atok very much. Will stop doing anything and run after his atok.
29. Now he is tall and handsome. 12.5kg 85 cm
30. Only wants daddy or atok to feed him bottled milk.
31. He chooses his own toy.
32. He chose his new shoe. He chose blue shoe and excitedly try to put on himself.
33. He can unplug anything.
34. Likes to dance
35. Likes to feed people
36. He likes spin cracker so much.. mummy & daddy always try to restrict him from taking too much.

continue later..daaa

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posted by Luft & Thea at 11:37 PM 5 comments

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Mummy!!!!

Hey All...

Guess what?!! Mummy forgot which email to use to login blogger.com My dear mummy has been too busy with work. Pity mummy. Usually she arrived at 9pm, rush her dinner and breastfeed me till I fall asleep. But now I am happy. Mummy no longer at that place anymore. The working hours to long and they are taking mummy away from me. Mummy plans to be a trainer again. Hopefully training companies will give mummy classes to teach so that she don't have to work full time anymore.

I've gone through a lot lately. I fell down too many times and hit my head. Actually this is part of the reason why mummy decided to work part time again. I've been through skull x-ray.. the mean big machine and I went for EEG... the big man pun tapes on my head and after the procedure I cried so loudly because he remove the tape from my long hair. Hmmmmm but I enjoyed the EEG sessions because I get to play a lot of toys and musical instruments. The kind Aunty who can sings very well, said that I am a natural drummer. The truth is Atuk taught me how to play the drum hehehehehe. I have a Bongo in my toy bag. Ohhh my results for EEG.. I am NORMAL... Alhamdulillah. Mummy has been very nervous about the EEG. Now she feels happy that I am fine.

By the way Atuk and Nenek stay with me now. Everybody are happy that they are living with us. Atuk and Nenek always entertain me and they help to take care of me when mummy is not at home or busy. Hari Raya was fine. I think we didn't go visiting that much because mummy was busy working.

I miss everybody here. There aren't much photo because our digital camera is spoilt. Only video function is working. Mummy is uploading some videos at you tube. You are welcome to watch me. I have grown up. I use size 6 shoes, 12kg and about 85cm. I can run and march.

Yesterday I bit mummy till her arm is swollen. It is a big patch. I went to Marina Square with mummy and daddy after the appointment at KKH. We had fun. Mummy so relaxed and daddy took leave just to be with us. Thanks daddy.

Hugs Hugs All....

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posted by Luft & Thea at 12:19 AM 2 comments

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Saturday, August 25, 2007

One after another...

Why all these happened? You knocked your head against dining table, you trip and your upper lips were cut, your 3 fingers bled and one of the nails chipped and lastly cpu fell on to your toes. All incidents happened within a week. Your grandmother was at our house since morning. I request she came over to look after you. She said you are indeed very hyperactive. No grandchild of hers is like you. You are the special one. With all the accidents, I decided to ask your grandparents to stay with us. I just want to work peacefully for our family. Mummy feels very upset about a few issues. But still mummy keeps it in my heart. I can voice out my anger but something worst may happen. For now I will try to keep calm. A quiet person is not always in the loosing end. Whatever decisions I take will be for your own good. I'll try my best in whatever I do for you my son. You are my strength to carry on with my life. *hugs*

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posted by Luft & Thea at 8:23 AM 6 comments

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Sunday, August 19, 2007

Mischief: Biscuit

Dear Son,

Sometimes I wonder if you ever get tired playing. Seems like you played whole day without any rest. While I was having coffee and bread for dinner you were walking around the house and heading towards my bedroom. I tried to distract you by giving one of your biscuit container. Later you want to the blue container. I let you have it knowing that both container were tightly sealed. You walk around the house with both containers and finally you sat down and play with the containers. I heard the banging sound and you were observing the container. Out of sudden I notice you were very quiet. I know you were up to something. I look at you and I saw you sitting on the floor. I feel funny but I assured myself that you were just playing with the containers. I finished my coffee and on the way to the kitchen I saw all the biscuits is all over the floor. You managed to open the blue container. I was shocked and I told our maid to keep quiet. I want to get a video of the mess you did. You can check out the video at www.atiah.multiply.com I will upload it in youtube too. I took the video of you messing the floor and you were so engrossed that you didn't realised I caught you red handed!

Later I taught you how to salam. I held your hand and move my hand towards your mouth. The third time we practise it you wanted to bite my finger! Your 7th teeth is growing. Maybe you feel uncomfortable at gum area.

I love your mischiefs. I love for who you are and what you are. I love your smile, your laughter and I love you with all my heart.

*Hugs Fa'iz Hilman*

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posted by Luft & Thea at 11:48 PM 1 comments

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Friday, August 17, 2007

Am a big boy

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posted by Luft & Thea at 5:57 PM 3 comments

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Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Fa'iz Hilman's 1st Birthday 5 August 2007

My 1st Birthday cakes
August 5th 2007

















Mummy cooked 2 huge trays of lasagne and broccoli soup. After cooking we went to Aunty Ita house to help to prepare for the wedding. At about 7.30pm we left Woodlands and went to Bedok to celebrate my birthday. We had fun! My cake was very nice. I hear people singing and I don't understand a thing. You can see my blur look in the birthday song video in Youtube. All I know I enjoyed playing with my twin cousins. They have a lot of cars. Mummy bought a race track for their birthday. They love it so much especially abang Bazlee. I had fun playing with their cars and blocks. Uncle Adam was there too to celebrate with us.

4th August 2007
Early in the morning mummy cooked lepat pisang to bring to Woodland. After that mummy quickly get ready and we went to lot 1 to collect my birthday cake and we continued our journey to Woodland. After maghrib atok read some doa for me, sang the birthday song, cut the cake and the marharban group takes over. We left Woodland at about 11pm.

5th August 2007
Daddy left early to go to Bukit Batok. Mummy, me and bibik left later and we went to Woodland on our own. I wore the baju kurung. I think I look handsome. :) We watched the nikah and the rest of the day we hang out at Woodland. We left woodland at about 8pm.

6th August 2007
Mummy, daddy and myself woke up late. We were very tired. We woke up about 9.54am and the doctors' appointment is at 10.30am. Mummy woke daddy up to get ready to send me for my 1 year old vaccination and check up. The doctor said I am doing great. My milestones are very impressive. I can point using my finger to show what I want. I can even complaint to mummy about anybody. I will yak yak yak and point to the person am complaining about. I was cool at the clinic. Happily looking around and playing. I sat in the doctors room and let him check me. Mummy hold me tight and the doctor tickle my left thigh (actually the doctor wants to jab me). It was not painful at all. When I was laughing out of sudden the doctor jab my right thigh. UWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it was so painful! I cried for a few seconds only. Mummy carried to keep me calm. Doctor said I can stop taking baby food. I can eat adult food. Yeayyy!!! Mummy let me eat Mc Donalds apple slices, a little bit of unsalted fries, one chicken nugget and an apple juice. Yumm yummm While I was eating I heard a song with a very nice beat. I began to dance to my heart content. :)

My ability and experience for the past 12 months.

1. I can dance.
2. I babble more vowels.
3. I can say a few words- apple, fishes, tak, apa, blum (belum), flower (fl..), ladybird (l...dy..ird), bird (bert), babababa, ma'am, yes, yayaya and few other baby talk.
4. I can walk more steps on my own.
5. I can twist and turn my body until my stroller strap loosen by itself.
6. Many people said I am hyperactive. Even a mother whose son is very hyperactive said that I am more active than his son hmmpphhh!
7. I can put shapes in the sorter.
8. I can put object in a container.
9. I can close some container on my own.
10. I can read books on my own.
11. I can point out apple & fishes.
12. I keep quiet when I disagree with mummy and daddy. I will say yes when I agree.
13. I can take off my own pants no matter how tight it is.
14. I know how to sneak very well.
15. I know how to act blur very well especially when I did something wrong.
16. If I get hurt due to my own fault, I will not cry. I will keep quiete.
17. When anybody make me angry, I will pull their hair.
18. I show affection by biting people.
19. In my 12months life, mummy beat my hand once for eating paper. I didn't cry after mummy explain to me.
20. In my 12 months life, daddy accidentally smack my face because I bite him. It happened 1 or 2 days ago. His first reaction when he was in pain was to smack me. I didn't cry after daddy explain to me.
21. In my 12 months life, my major accident was to put my finger on the fan. Luckily it was just a cut.
22. In my 12 months life, mummy major panicked about me was twice. When I cried loudly when the doctor in hospital try to put a drip on me and also when some spirit disturb me at night that I refuse to stop crying.
23. I will keep quiet and listen attentively to the azan.
24. I know how to prevent from getting caught. If I want to go to my room I will crawl quietly. If mummy calls for me, crawl back to her and smile. If she calls for me and after that she walks away, I will continue crawling to my destination. If daddy doing something and I want to play with his things, I will take his things quietly and go to corner where he cannot see me.
25. I like to eat paper.
26. I will take anything beyond my reach at the shopping centre.
27. Last and not least...I still droolssssss......

The list can go on... to many things to type. In short my first 12 months is a very Happy Life and I am one Happy Baby!

Mummy has uploaded some video in you tube and multiply. So feel free to watch! I will continue later when mummy not to busy. Ta Ta...

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posted by Luft & Thea at 11:11 AM 3 comments

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Saturday, July 21, 2007

I did it!

Yes I did it! I turned my parents living room into my play room! Part of the living room hehehehhe..

More videos..
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=luftiah

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posted by Luft & Thea at 1:36 PM 0 comments

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Friday, July 20, 2007

Miss me?

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posted by Luft & Thea at 3:47 PM 0 comments

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

Why Hilman?

Dear Hilman,

Since mummy started working you had changed a lot. Mummy feels very sad about this. It is used to be so easy to feed you and to put you to sleep. For the past few days mummy has been at home and I notice the changes in you. When you see mummy you refuse to eat, drink milk and you refused to sleep. Most of the time I have to be out of your sight so that the maid can feed you and put you to sleep. Mummy thought you've been difficult because you want mummy to feed you. But when I tried to feed you, things get worst. Why sweety? I am worried about your health.

What are you trying to tell me Hilman? I know you miss me when I am away at work but we have no choice. Whenever I am at home I always try my best to spend time with you. I always rush home to be with you. I put you as my first priority eventhough I have dozens of things to do. Most of my friends told me it is normal. Kids want more attention. I believe I've given you a lot of attention. I don't mind if you want me to be by your side all the time but at least please drink your milk, eat your food and sleep well. You not wanting to eat, drink milk and sleep makes me feel I have to be away from home more often. From you lips I can see that you are getting dehydrate. We've been giving you some Pedialyte but you still need your milk and food. Hilman .. mummy love you very much. Please help mummy. Please help mummy not to be too difficult when mummy is at home.

Love you Hilman...

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posted by Luft & Thea at 11:31 PM 2 comments

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Monday, June 18, 2007

10months Fa'iz Hilman's development & Hilman and the grass

Hey Sweety,

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posted by Luft & Thea at 2:28 AM 2 comments

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Happy Father's Day

Dear son,


Today we celebrated Father's Day. This year is the first time we celebrated Father's Day and Mother's Day. In the morning mummy felt sudden stress to do something for daddy. On Saturday, daddy requested burger to celebrate Father's Day. He wants a thick pattie and all the add ons. This morning mummy went to Limbang to look for the burgers but not available. Mummy went to the wet market to buy a few things needed for our maid to cook. After that I went to Lot 1 to hunt a simple gift for daddy. I wanted an engraved keychain. I thought of engraving your picture but it takes one week to do it. I have to find an alternative. The Kodak's shop assistant suggested doing a personalized frame but I felt it is a bad idea. I decided on badges. It was cool! It takes about 1.5 hours for the badges to be ready. I went to Popular to buy a paper to make it into a card and I search for an idea on how to make the gift unique. Finally this is what daddy gets...


Mummy is missing when daddy wakes up. I know he assumes I hunt for his gift. When I called home, daddy answered the call and I act blur. I told him I searched for bugger patties for hours. Later I called daddy again and asked him what he wants for his gift. He said no need. I put down the phone and smiled by myself while walking in the middle of Lot 1. When I reached home he saw me carrying a lot of ntuc bags. He continued watching tv and I quietly set his gift on the dining table. I placed sparkling white grape juice, penguin soft toy, a rolled card and the badges I placed in the can. I didn't tell daddy about the gift. I continued doing other things like putting away the groceries and feeding you lunch. When daddy realised the gifts he squeezed my shoulder and I am sure he is smiling. Don't know why I still want to act blur hahahahaha. Daddy don't know how to open the can. He pretended not interested in the content of the can. I kept cool as if I don't care whether he opens it or not. Later he lets you play with the can and you bite of the label "Happy Father's Day". Daddy opened the can with a can opened and he was surprised to see the badges as he never expected it! *Daddy sedih kan mummy act as if it's not Father's day? LOL*



Cute Right?



Burger Feast! Mummy's late lunch. Daddy's second lunch hehehe


That's how Father's Day goes. Happy Father's Day Daddy!



Love,
Mummy

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posted by Luft & Thea at 1:45 AM 3 comments

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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

At 10 months I have 4 teeth!!! Yeayyyyyyy~~~~~~~



View from my window...(mummy got nothing to write)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tHGdKJKpEs

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posted by Luft & Thea at 11:12 PM 0 comments

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Saturday, June 02, 2007

guilty..

Dear Son,

Mummy feel so guilty leaving you at home and mummy goes to work. I find it difficult to work late too. My work mates have to go overseas to conduct training. I pray hard that I don't have to go out station. Whenever I see anything for babies, I tend to buy for you. I bought it out of guilt. I know I work to help our family and for you future, but I just can't help feeling guilty. Maybe when everything is okay, I will part time again so that I can attend to you often.

Yesterday I just apply for one day leave in August! That is 2 months away. My manager almost reject it because Monday is a busy day. I tried to change your doctor's appointment but I can't. I got to ask daddy to help. Daddy might send you alone to the clinic if I can't get my leave. My leave is approved but if I have to conduct training, I have to cancel my leave.

Only God knows how I feel. At work mummy always very busy. Mummy have no friend to talk to etc.. no kakis.. I am on my own. But it is better that way actually .. not much dispute will happen. But the work exam and work load is too much. I just feel I can't cope especially when there is family event. I really hope I can juggle. I hope people around me understand my situation. I have to pass all the exams in order for me to keep my job. I really pray hard hoping I will not have any problems that will affect my performance at work. Please please forgive me for going to work. Please love me even when I am not around. I love you my son Fa'iz Hilman

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posted by Luft & Thea at 8:56 AM 2 comments

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Sunday, May 27, 2007

Mummy@work : Hilman@home

8 months old photos

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posted by Luft & Thea at 4:01 PM 4 comments

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Thursday, May 17, 2007

Mummy's first Mother's Day

Dear Fa'iz Hilman,

Thank you for the wonderful card and flowers. I would to thank daddy too for helping you make the card and buy the flowers. I would say this is one of the best gift I ever had because it is done by you and daddy. I always appreciate handmade things.

Early in the morning on Mother's Day daddy brought you out. I thought it was a normal routine that you and daddy buys newspaper at a nearby shop. Both of you were away longer than usual. I didn't call daddy because I know he likes to read newspaper downstairs or at nearby coffeeshop. When both of you are back, I was getting ready to send you to tumble tots. I saw daddy meddling with some papers and he looked so serious. I did not want to intrude. I let him be.. (also takut kena marah hehehehe).

When I am ready, I get out of my room and daddy quickly wish me Happy Mother's Day. I was shocked. I smiled and actually getting sentimental :P Then I saw the flowers and card on the table. I picked it up and look at the card. It was handmade and it was very nice. Finally I have your handprint.. thanks to daddy. I read the wonderful words and I almost cried (sentimental lagik...) I thanked daddy and told him that I really love it and appreciate it. To avoid being teased by daddy..I pretend to laugh. Daddy always teased me when I am sentimental :P


I really love this purple flower. I find it very beautiful. Whenever I eat at the dining table I will admire this flower.
Hilman this is your handprint at 9months 2weeks.

The bouquet and card.
The Mother's Day wish.
Your pic comes with the card.

Hilman looks as if he is living in a fish tank heheheheh

I have not been blogging for awhile because I've been busy with finding a job, going for interviews, daddy busy with his test, daddy busy with work and we have a few family events we had to attend. There will be some changes in our lives. Mummy will start work on 21st May 2007. I have to go to work to improve our family income. I am really sorry that I have to let a maid to take care of you. But I have no choice. Mummy also feels that I am not suitable to be a homemaker. Mummy never do housework at all before getting married. So being a homemaker really gives me a lot of stress. Luckily after I have you in my life, I feel happier and have less stress. Mummy always hug you and talk to you about happy things when I am sad or stressed up. You are the motivator for me to live this life. Another reason I have to work is that I want to save up money for your education and also your grandfather going to retire soon. I believe he will need more help for his daily needs. And hopefully by going to work I will have myself confidence back and lead a happy life. I did a lot of praying to Allah swt before taking this big step. I asked him to show me the path and at the same time I put in a lot of effort in changing our life. I leave everything to Him to decide. All the changes will not happen without His blessings. I find that everything falls in place nicely. I got a job on Wednesday and surf the net to look for a maid. At the first look I feel comfortable with the maid. I called up and she said the maid may not be available for me and offered a different maid. I was upset. Later she calls again saying that she can let me have a maid if I can place a deposit today. I rushed to Ming Arcade with you. All settled and we can have the maid soon. Next week daddy will take care of you. Daddy will be at home with you during the day. I will try to come back from work as soon as I can.

Mummy's job is 5 days a week but there are days where I am required to work in the evenings and weekend. Mummy also have to take a few exams for salary increment. Pray for mummy's success okay. I have to stop now because you have woken up from your sleep.


Love you my dear son.

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posted by Luft & Thea at 8:18 PM 4 comments

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Thursday, May 03, 2007

Hilman the Darth Vader?

Daddy created this video. He suppose to be studying but this is what he did.

On 5th of May I will be 9 months old. What I have achieved...

1. I can walk with some support.
2. I am trying to walk without any support.
3. I can put stick inside holes.
4. I can crawl on a plank.
5. I put everything in my mouth.
6. I can eat more variety of rice.
7. I can say baba, abaaa, mak, bapak, abruuuu
8. I can eat biscuits by myself.
9. I can sit up for a long time.
10. I can bite mummy until she shout.
11. I can kiss daddy so many times.
12. I can shout very loudly until mummy can see my veins on my neck!
13. I always crawl after my friends in class and try to grab their legs.
14. I will miss mummy and daddy when they are away.

These are the few things that I can think of.. am sure I can do more things. Mummy have not been updating because she is busy looking after me. I love to climb and run around the house with my walker.

That's all folks.. good night.

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posted by Luft & Thea at 10:40 PM 4 comments

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Friday, March 30, 2007

Mummy's Birthday

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posted by Luft & Thea at 11:35 PM 4 comments

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Monday, March 26, 2007

Am awake again...

Hilman,

Mummy awake again. You woke up at 3am and I breastfed you till 4am. You still seem to be hungry so I decided to mix for you Isomil. After feeding, you fell asleep. I went to the washroom and you cried loudly. Daddy tried to pat you to sleep but it didn't work. Daddy decided to sleep at the next room. Now just you and me. I tried to put you to sleep but you just did not get your spot. After 10mins after reading Al Fateha and Selawat for you, you finally found your spot. Now you are asleep again. I find that your voice is getting louder. And it also seems like you have been hungry at about 4am for the past 3 days. I think it's time to increase your food intake.

It's 5.06am. I want to get some sleep. Who knows daddy have some plans for me. If possible I want to go out early in the morning so that I can have a personal birthday celebration just with you and daddy.

Night baby.. hugs.. mummy...

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posted by Luft & Thea at 5:00 AM 3 comments

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Sunday, March 25, 2007

Eve of Mummy's birthday

Dear Son,

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posted by Luft & Thea at 11:53 PM 2 comments

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Dedicated to my mummy

Dear Fa'iz Hilman,

It's 4.44am. Mummy did not get to sleep yet. I just cannot fall asleep. Maybe am too excited for my birthday. I'll be celebrating my birthday for the first time with you. Since my mummy passed away I began to realise a lot of things. I realised how much she loves me and I began to look at birthdays at a different perspective. It maybe too late for me as your nanny (ur grandma would like her grandchildren call her nanny) not around anymore. But I still look forward to it.

26 March 1974 was the day I was born. I was told that once nanny arrived at the hospital, she immediately gave birth to me within minutes. Eventhough it was a fast delivery but I am sure she have to do some pushing. A painful one. She gave birth to me by normal delivery. She must be very happy when she gave birth to me. When I was young people always tease me saying that I am anak manja. At that point of time I didn't think so. I thought my brother Adam and my sister are the anak manja. I am 8 years apart with your Uncle Adam. After she passed away, people began to tell how much she loves me. She would wait for me to come back from school o work. She will walk around the void deck to wait for me. She also placed a chair in front of our house to sit and wait for me to come back from school. In the past I did not realised she waited for me. I did not know she will ask the shopkeeper at our void deck if they seen me. I feel so ashamed for not realising what inconvenience and worry I have caused her. I hope her soul is taken care by Almighty Allah. She passed away at Mecca after she performed her haj. She was buried there. I remembered that on the day she passed away I received white roses from a friend. When I received those roses I remembered her. But I did not suspect anything. Luckily I called the hotel she's staying so many times before she passed away. She told me she was sick. But at that time I called often because I was concerned about my father. My father was very ill at that time and my mummy was very healthy. I never suspected she would leave the world so soon. She passed away when I was 23 years old. That was 10 years ago. These are Allah's decision. They can take us away anytime HE wants to.

I am thankful to my mummy for thanking care of me with lots of love. She always make sure that I will have enough of everything. She loves to kiss my armpit eventhough I' was in my 20's. Nothing can repay my mummy. I am proud that all my sister in laws that my mummy is the best Mother in law in the world. They still miss her till now. I wonder if I can be a good mother in law in future. She bought for her daughter in laws gifts, cook their favourite dish when they visit and she never blames her daughter in laws for anything.

I remembered there's one incident before she left for haj, out of sudden she asked my dad "What if Atiah don't have a place to stay?" I was puzzled. My dad responded "She surely have a place to stay." I still do not understand why out of sudden my mother asked the question to my dad.

At little bit of my mummy, she got married after studying at Ipoh lane madrasah. At that time she studied similar to A level standard. She can read the Quran very well and won prizes for Quran recital competition. She loves to wear dresses at home, she well groomed and dressed up very well; love to eat ciku; a good cook especially her curry and mee rebus; always say kesian; she did not talk much; her most common sentence she utter daily "Atiiii belajar"; she loves to pin up her hair japanese style with huge stylish hair pins, she looked young; many people thought that she's my dad youngest wife, when told them she is our mother outsider will be very shocked; she's very pretty that many men were interested in her when she was young and even married; some nights I would hold her till I fall I asleep; she loves to give me a big kiss; I can still remember her smell; she is very updated with fashion and make up, I love to play with her cosmetics; she has a very sweet smile; she never go anywhere further than geylang by herself; she don't care about money and give away her money easily .. the list can really go on....

To me my birthday is to remember the sacrifice she had gone through for me especially when she gave birth to me. Nothing can repay her kindness and love. I love you mummy.

Al Fateha for the late Hajjah Fatimah binte Mohamed Nawi.

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posted by Luft & Thea at 4:43 AM 2 comments

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Saturday, March 24, 2007

apa eh?

I went for follow up check up at PCC @KKH. Doctor said I am fine. Mummy very happy to hear about it. For breakfast, we ate at Komala Villas. Mummy and daddy love the food there. I saw someone have bigger eyes than me. He kept on smiling at everybody...

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posted by Luft & Thea at 12:12 AM 2 comments

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