1st Pregnancy

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Daddy.. Hubby.. Thank you

Dear Fa'iz,

Daddy took leave for 2 days just to take care of both of us. Mummy have not been this sick for so long. C-sect pain is not as painful as what I am experiencing right now. Erghhh dia punya pedih semacam.. telan makanan pun rasa pedih. But good news is that I don't have anymore blood when I have bowel movement. On Thursday morning, we went to a nearby GP. On Friday I am still in pain. In fact the pain getting worst. I do feel the pain while typing right now. By 3pm I can't take it anymore. You and daddy send me to SGH. It is confirmed I have my gastric ulcer again. The last time I had it was when I was 14 years old. Took medication for 2 years and there's no difference and finally took air gamat for 2 months (yucks!!!) and Alhamdulillah everything is healed. All the ulcers at duedonal cap were healed. I have to see the stomach doctor in January 2007. But I don't want to go if I am okay.

Daddy has been very helpful in doing housework. He clean the dishes, do the laundry and bathe you. All these makes him so tired. He falls asleep very easily and snore very loudly heheheeheh. Kecian sungguh. At night when you cry I still attend to you. But in the morning when I feel daddy have at about 6 hours of sleep I will wake him up to attend to your cries. I am okay with 4 hours of sleep. I think I am used to it since young. Today daddy goes to work. I think you miss him because you are cranky and kept on looking at places where daddy always rest or play with you.

Today I broke the family rule. Not to talk about problems before daddy go to work. But I have no choice. I've been keeping everything to myself till it stress me up. Lucky daddy did not get angry. Instead he listens and quiet supportive. Alhamdulillah.. with your presence in changed mummy and daddy. It changed us for the better. Both of us want to be the best parent you could ever have. We will try our best to raise you. One of the topic we talked is about my pectation in disciplining you. I feel you should know about it too. I expect that when I am disciplining you, I would not want daddy to give excuses on your behalf. I don't want daddy to back you up. If I let him do that, you will feel you can get away with anything when daddy is around. I told daddy if he have an excuse for you or in otherwords he wants to defend you, he should talk to me in private. If I am wrong, I am not ashamed to apologize. It doesn't mean that a person who apologize is a weak person. I admit when I am wrong. So I will try my best to be fair. I hope I will not turn out to be a mother who always defend her son blindly and will not be a mother who always blames her son. If I am wrong, I will accept your views. I will listen. I will not brush it off just because you are younger than me. Insya-Allah...

That's it for now..

Love
Mummy

Post a Comment

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Ohhh..my baby.. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Dear baby,

Last night I was touched by your gestures. Mummy was very sick last night. Mummy's temperature was between 39.8 and 40.5 degrees celcius. There was also blood in mummy's poop. I was feeling very cold and sick. Daddy gave me 2 panadols but it doesn't help. Mummy thought after I put you to sleep I will go to the 24 hours clinic myself. After daddy fast asleep, mummy still breastfeeding you. Everytime you fall asleep you will open your eyes and look at me. I know you are very sleepy but I can sense that you were just checking on me. I am not sure why you kept on checking on me. You did it till 5am. Is it because you afraid I will go out and leave you at home or is it you are worried that I am very sick? Finally at 5.30am you get too tired and cranky. I am too sick to carry you so I woke daddy up. Daddy very sleepy too. Maybe because he works morning shift and we've been entertaining guests for a few days. I forced daddy to wake up and he took care of you till next morning.

In the morning you and daddy sent me to the clinic. We checked the rashes on your chin too. The doctor diagnosed me with stomach flu virus and haemorrhoid. Till now mummy still feel the pain in my stomach. When were at home and after I took the medication, 3 of us fell asleep. Yes daddy slept again! Now you just fell asleep. I am beside you typing. I know I can't leave you alone because I know you will cry when you don't see me beside you.

My dear son.. if you did not sleep well because you took care of your sick mummy last night.... I would like to thank you. And I love you very much. I also notice that whoever makes me sad, you wouldn't want that person to carry you. You will cry and want me to be with you. Maybe you can feel I am sad and you want to be by my side. I never tell anyone about this. Your grandma ever told me out of the blue when I was still in confinement that you might be able to feel when I am sad. It is the mother and child bonding. Maybe it is the truth in her beliefs.

I am in pain now. I need to rest and be by your side. Take care and I love you.

Hugs
Mummy