1st Pregnancy

Friday, August 18, 2006

Mummy heran ahh

Aloo my darling Fa'iz Hilman...

Out of sudden mummy have the urge to write this in our blog. Out of sudden mummy feel so curious. Out of sudden you make me forget my sadness and worries. Apa yang mummy heran? Mummy heran kenapa la Hilman very tembam bila Hilman tengah sleep. Pipi Hilman setembam-tembamnyaaaaaa but when Hilman awake.. Hilman tak tembam pun. Hilman in the picture very chubby but when people look at your personally.. you look skinny and small size. That's what many people comment. Mummy heran betul ahhh

Kish Kish Kish Hilman
Lots of love from mummy

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What's in the name?

Dear Hilman,

Mummy love you very much. You are sleeping right now. Something makes me think about the future. I maybe rambling.. I don't think I am experiencing depression. Have I mention why mummy and daddy chose Fa'iz Hilman as your name? At first mummy wrote a list of names which means patience. I let daddy do the final decision. Daddy chose Hilman. Hilman means polite and patience. I chose names with such meaning because I don't want you to be hot tempered and abusive. I don't want you to have any such traits. I know it all depends on the up bringing but I still believe the names we chose plays a part. Sometimes you cried and you are impatient and sometimes agitated. But when I called out your name Hilman you calm down and wait for me to carry you. I am always here for you. To protect and love you. But I hope I won't be overprotective because it can be bad for your upbringing. If you are wrong, you are wrong. I won't defend you blindly. You have to know what is right and wrong. Allah will punish those who hurt other people and do wrong doings in the world. I will go to ANY extend to protect you from bad example even if it hurts me badly.

Now how did Fa'iz come to the picture. Daddy said Hilman has a good meaning. But if you are too patient it can be bad too. hmmm very hard to comment about this. I believe we can be patient up to certain extend. Daddy wants to have a name which means successful. I agreed. Again I list names which means successful. From the list daddy chose the name Fa'iz. So that's how we come out with the meaning Fa'iz Hilman. Actually there's no aprostorphe (tak tau eja ahh) It should be Faiz Hilman. But daddy wants people to have the correct pronounciation for your name so he decided to put ('). I think you notice that daddy have the upper hand in choosing your name. Why is that so? It is because in Islam, daddy will be questioned and responsible if he gives you a bad name. Daddy will be punish if he gives you a name with bad meaning. That's why I let daddy have the upper hand in choosing your name. In fact most of the things I let your daddy have the upper hand because he is responsible for our actions. But if he ever decide or do something wrong, I will definitely stick to my decision especially if it concerns Halal and Haram. So far Alhamdulillah, daddy can be reasonable at times.

I really hope I can educate you well. I want you to be a good Muslim. That what matters most. Even if you have everything in the world but your character hurt and unacceptable in Islam, it is useless. All your wealth is celebrated with syaitan. Before I was pregnant, during pregnant and after being pregnant; I detest abuse and violence. I really pray hard you won't have any of those syaitan character.. Nauzubillah. mithzalikk..

Love
Mummy

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Thursday, August 17, 2006

How has it been as a mummy?

My darling Fa'iz,

A few people asked me how's life like being a mummy. When I was pregnant a few people told me life as mummy is tougher than being pregnant. So far motherhood life is okay. I think I am coping well. Grandma helps to cook and do laundry when daddy not around. When daddy around we are on our own. I do walk around in and out of the house. I am not stationed on the bed all the time. I know some people insist that I must stay on the bed all the time but I can't. I don't like to confined. I haven't even start doing the urut because I prefer to wait for the wound to completely heal. The doctor had removed the stitches because being diabetic I need more care. I have to see him again in one weeks time. Yesterday I had to drop by the clinic because the plaster came off. The doctor decided I need not use the plaster anymore. It is better to let the wound exposed to the open air.

When daddy works morning shift, grandma insist she sleeps with you. She worried that you will wake daddy up. But when daddy not working or works afternoon shift, you will sleep with us. I will wake up almost every hour to check if you are okay. It is fine with me. Anyway I only need 4 to 5 hours sleep per night. Daddy will only wake up when I really need his help. For example when I half way feeding you and I really need to go to toilet. Daddy will wake up with no complaints .. Alhamdulillah.

Day time you are always by my side. I do some housework when you are asleep. In the morning when you want me to carry you, I will use my right hand to do some facial for myself. Multi tasking. But it's okay. I am used to multi tasking. Only problem I did not get to take my medication on time which makes my glucose level haywire. I will talk to the doctor to let me switch to tablets soon. Having to inject myself and handling you at the same time is not easy. Especially now where my tummy is still very tender.

I do miss being pregnant. I miss you kicking me from inside me. But I would say pregnancy life is much more horrible than motherhood life. Being a mother is tiring but not as bad as being pregnant. During pregnancy I feel tired, lifeless, sensitive itchy skin, cramps here and there, vomit everyday and not being able to walk too much.

Now being a mother and with the healing wound, I feel more energetic. Happier. So I guess every woman have different views. So mine is pregnancy life is horrible and I love being a mother.

Love you my baby

*Smooch*
Mummy

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Monday, August 14, 2006

My first week in the world.

Hmmmm today mummy and daddy took care of me. Grandma not around. Grandma went to her home yesterday. Mummy and daddy bathe me. I cried a little. The water too cold for me I think or maybe I just don't like to be naked. I always cry when I am not wearing any clothes. My jaundice is so much better. Mummy drank goat's milk for one month only. I think not enough. Mummy should drink more goat's milk so that I don't get jaundice.

I love to drink milk. When I am in my mummy's tummy I want to drink milk everyday. Now I am delivered mummy don't have to drink milk anymore. Now I drink milk by myself. Nurse told mummy that I am a big eater. I can drink breast milk and add another 20ml of S26 gold. At home when I am very hungry I have no patience to drink from my mummy. I want my bottle. After I drink from my bottle, I will drink from my mummy. But still I am thin. My have strong bones. But not much fats yet.. sigh..

In the late afternoon daddy wipe my body and changed my diaper. After he finished I made a sound "haiiiiii~~~". I mengeluh hehehehehe I like to disturb daddy I think. After that I poot poot again. Daddy got to change me again hahahaha You see usually mummy change me. Today daddy change me so I make him change me more hahahahha

I love daddy to carry me. I love my mummy milk. I like to sleep sleep sleep. At night I wake up once only. Sometimes 2 to 3 times if I have hiccups. Now daddy, me and 2 of his friends in the living room. Mummy rest in her bedroom. Don't know what daddy and his friends talk about. I just sleep infront of them. They brought gifts for me. Yeayy yeayy yeayy.

I think I look like my mummy and daddy.. look at our picture and see for yourself okay.. nite nite

Mummy in orange.

Daddy on the bed.

Fa'iz Hilman sleeping soundly.

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Sunday, August 13, 2006

Fa'iz Hilman

Hey,

Thanks for the support and for visiting me. I update more soon.. cite lum habis daaaa krherhekhrekhrekhrek even stitch punya tali tangsi pun aku simpan lol... ok la me update bila dah tak ada visitor.

Regards
Atiah

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