1st Pregnancy

Friday, May 26, 2006

Dear Baby,

Today mummy a bit grouchy and slack. Still feel tired because last Wednesday I went out the whole day and lots of walking. I've been doing lots of laundry and washing today. I can't wait to go swimming again. I made a date with daddy to go swimming next Tuesday. Daddy just smiled and asked me if am sure. He asked can I survive after my morning class on Monday and Tuesday. I don't know what to answer. I just smiled. But I really hope I can survive so that I can go swimming again. When I swim I always imagine that I am snorkling but too bad there's not corals or fishes for me to look at. I did not imagine hard enough to visualize fishes in the pool. *smile*

Last night was horrible. I manage to sleep at about 4 or 5am. My whole body itch. It happens to me almost everday but last night's itch was horrible. I feel angry and irritated. I hope I will not have problems next week because I will be having morning classes.

Last night I cried. I was confused. Thinking about hospital and so on. I prefer single bed because I've seen so many patients who admitted in 4 bedded or more being mistreated or did not get proper treatment. I do admit I am fussy about service. But mummy and daddy comes from a very different background. His family seems to prefer I choose the cheapest hospital and ward. I was even told off by his family member about this. I know I should not tell you about this but I just need to let it out of my chest. And I am sure when you grow up you will notice the behaviour or routine of each of our family. So you better have your own principles and think by yourself what you want in life. I don't expect you to follow the routine of my family or daddy's family. I will respect your wish as long as it is sensible and safe. Mummy even kept quiet when I was told off about the choice of hospital. I don't want to create any problem.

Mummy sometimes can see the other world, I also taken care of a few people in the hospital like my dad, my uncle, grandma etc and I am very particular in treating people well and providing good service. Maybe because I am trained in providing good service when I was taking my diploma. Due to all this, I get worked up when nurses did not take care of patients properly. Now I will be staying in hospital to deliver you so I am worried that they will not handle you properly, worried that they did do a proper job on me coz I am diabetic and also worried I can see the other world. Daddy got fed up with me last night. He said that if I always think of the worst I will get the worst. hmmm maybe I've been disappointed too many times for the past years. So I don't have any high expectation at all. I purposely set my expectation level to zero so that even a tiny nice thing happen I will appreciate it greatly. Different people have different expectation. I may think I did a good job and I did what matters most. To some people I may not be good enough and thinks that he did a better job, which I think otherwise. I never condemn a person for not doing things up to my expectation and I learnt not to comment when it is not good enough. I learnt to accept as what it is. I believe I have a bigger heart now that I can accept people's flaws and I can let comment about me without being angry. It is tough. Sometimes it affects me till I cry. Sometimes it accumulates anger in me. But anger is the work of Syaitan. I always try to control it. To me a weak person is the one who always burst in anger and behave in the Syaitan manner.

Anyway, about the hospital we have set our mind to Mt Alvernia and will be taking two bedded or 4 bedded.. it all depends. If normal delivery I'll take two bedded and if c-sect I'll choose 4 bedded. It is all not about the pain. It is all about the effects of the nurses action which sometimes can lead to permanent damage. Trust me.. it happened to a few old people I know. Poor thing. Feel like slapping the nurses on the spot. But I did complaint and the hospital and doctors took action againsts the nurses.

I am also worried about your future. About your studies and character. I think it is a norm. This is one of the reason I watch less news or forum on TV. Whenever they talk about Singapore education system, I get stressed up. I've been reading a few books and did a few online stress and depression level test. Well..hmmm ... I think all these things got to do with my hormones. Most books say it is common and even after birth women can experience depression. It is not I have no faith in Almight Allah but it is me to ensure everything goes well. I am the sort who wants to the best for my loved ones.

I love you my sweetheart. I can't wait to go for a scan in 3 weeks time.

Hugz
Mummy

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Thursday, May 25, 2006

Fruitful days..

Dear Baby,

Mummy has been happily spending my time with my friend and doing things I have not done for so long. Yesterday, I went out shopping with my friend, Twinzmom. It has been a long time we have not gone out alone together. Most of the time with other friends, with her husband and kids, and daddy. Yesterday was really a girls outing. We had fun. She felt single when we were out together but I can't feel single because you kept on kicking me. *smile* She is really a great close friend, we are almost like sisters. Many years ago my father allowed me to go holiday for the first time just to watch over Twinzmom. hehehehee I think my dad thought Twinzmom still too young and innocent to go holiday on her own *LOL* Twinzmom pick me up at our place. I felt so touched. She actually willing to pick me up to ensure my safety. Daddy always worried if I am out alone. Most of the time I will go out with daddy when he is free. While we were eating at Lot 1, I suddenly missed daddy. Maybe it is your feelings. I feel that daddy is not there to finish my food and immediately after that I lost my appetite. Or maybe I badly wants to eat french fries because I dreamt that your grandmother's house is full of french fries. *LOL* Funny but a very nice dream. We talked about the past, the present and future. Just like old times. We had nice cake and drinks at coffee bean West Mall. And we had lots of fun teasing each other. Alhamdulillah, I guess Twinzmom and I are able to understand each other well and never take it to heart when we tease each other. She is indeed a kind lady and a sweet one too.

Last Tuesday, we went to a few places. We went to Aunty Ita's place to catch up and after that to your grandparents. After spending time about 2 hours, daddy and I went for a swim at Chevron, Jurong. I had fun. I felt the sense of satisfaction. I love to swim. I love water. I love to snorkle. We swam for about 2 hours. It was fun. After that we head back to your grandparents to catch up with Uncle Nazri and have dinner together. Chevron was a very clean and nice place. But the area for below 1.5m was small. Most of the depth are deep. But I don't mind as long as the toilet is clean. *smile* It was a fun day. I was really happy daddy finally bring me out for a swim.

Love
-Mummy-

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A special update

This is entry is not for my baby. This is for my friend, Twinzmom. I am too lazy too create another blog. So this one will not be printed for my baby.

Yesterday early in the morning I sms Twinzmom just to kacau. She then told me that she will be on mc and we could go out. I was thinking why not and decided to meet for lunch. Yeah right lunch.. she was at my place by 9.30am. Gosh! She miss me so much krhekrhekhrkehrke *jangan meluat* LOL! She wants to use the internet to send some emails to work.

We went to Lot One and after that West Mall. She wants to buy a khaki or a cream coloured top. So we hunt for it at these two places. I thought I want to call another friend, Seri Mayasari, to join us. But knowing her a very hardworking person, we forget it. She might be working. So the two of us spent about half a day together. As usual when we GPP are together sure got kerja bodoh happened! heheheeheh I will only what she did in this entry hahahaha

While we were in the mrt to go to West Mall, I told Twinzmom that long time we have not ride on the mrt together and there's nobody to "spot" Right after I said that Twinzmom said "Eh cuma 2 stesen or bus stesen (I don't exactly remember what she exactly said)" I told her yeah... "Later when you want to alight you can press the bell." I giggled. As usual she tried to act cool.

The next funny thing is that she wants to redeem $1 for the single trip ezlink ticket. We went to the ezlink machine at Bt Batok. She was trying to put the ezlink inside the atm slot. I told her that's for atm. She tried again. She thought I tried to trick her. I told her again that's for atm. And then she realized that she tried to put in the wrong slot. She tried to put it in atm slot instead of ezlink slot. hahahahahah I laughed and she tried to maintain cool. She said excuse herself coz she's on drug(medication she got from doctor). hhehehehehe

It was a coincidence when she was pregnant we went to West Mall together and now am pregnant we went to West Mall again. I guess it is a place every pregnant women tend to visit. heheheh I like the stuff at Tom and Stephanie.

Later after tired of walking and shopping, we have a drink and ate a cake at Coffee Bean. While we were laughing she accidentally turned and look at a tomboy who happens to walking beside us. That tomboy just stop and look at her. After that she look a bit panic. 20mins later that tomboy walked pass us again and turn around to look at her again. heheheh Twinzmom soooo attractive *LOL*

Here are some pictures of twinzmom.

BURRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!