Saturday, November 01, 2008

I love you

Dear daughter,
Next week I will be delivering you by c-sect. You are in breech position and my having high blood pressure. Baby.. mummy very sorry. I know through out the pregnancy mummy have not been happy. It's not that mummy and daddy don't want you but mummy and daddy facing too much problems. We are facing so much financial difficulties up to the extend we rent out our house and we are living at our relatives place. Mummy tried to work in October but failed. Mummy was too sick and tired. Lately mummy has been feeling very tired. Life is tough. Maybe it is fated that women's life will be tough. All the challenges mummy faced during pregnancy is beyond my control. Daddy wants us to go separate ways and mummy still hoping he will change his mind after seeing you. I really love your daddy. I want daddy to be with us forever. To mummy daddy play an important part in raising children. I really believe in father's love. Mummy trying to change to suit daddy's life. But mummy can't stop myself from defending the truth. I have to do this to protect my children. I don't want you and your brother will get hurt. To me your self confidence is very important.

I hope whatever mummy gone through makes you a strong person. It is not easy being a woman. Well that's life. I am excited and scared to have you in my world. Excited to have a daughter but scared about our future. I believe you and your brother will make mummy a strong person. I really hope you will be a happy baby. I don't want my sorrows affect you in anyway. I know how a pregnant mother feels will affect it's baby. If things don't turn out well, I really blame myself and maybe partly I will blame daddy. But I hope I won't blame daddy. It's not my style to blame other people.

I have to go. I love you.

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posted by Luft & Thea at 1:48 PM 8 comments

I love you

Dear Son,

I am aware that I have not been writing for a long time. Too many things happened. Mummy have been sad for months. I have been thinking if I should always write happy moments or to tell you the truth even it is painful. After much thinking, I should tell you the truth because I want you to grow up to be a man. At the moment is 36 weeks pregnant. We are expecting a baby girl. But sad to say daddy didn't seem happy at first. A lot of pressure between us. Daddy wants me and daddy to go on separate ways. But I love you to much to let you grow up without a father. To me father's love is very important. I am trying my best to suit daddy's expectation as a wife. But I know I cannot be a nice wife anymore. Meaning defending the truth and protecting you when something goes wrong. From my point of view mummy and daddy are adults. No matter how difficult life is, we should be able to face it. But you and your expected baby sister are young children. You have no sin. You have no right to suffer. You should be enjoying life. Live as a kid. But whatever happens after I give birth to your baby sister, I vow that I will try my best to bring both of you up. I maybe away from you and your future sister often because I have to work. But we have to be apart because we need money to survive. Even if mummy and daddy still together forever, mummy still need to work because we are facing a lot of financial difficulties and mummy need to save money again in case there is an emergency.

Whatever it is I want you to know that I love you very much. Frankly, my health is not in good situation. I do not know if I can survive during delivery or not. But I always pray so that I can live until you grown up. I don't want you to grow up without a mother or father. Parents play an important role in a child's life. Past few months we lived with your aunty hawa. But things are too rough there. I don't want you to get sick or hurt all the time. To me your self confidence is very important. Now we are staying with uncle adam. But i don't know why, we are more broke here. Financially in trouble. Mummy will delivering your sister next week. I have no confidence in our maid to take care of you when I am away. Yesterday you almost hit your head twice due to her negligence. Lucky you know how to save yourself. Mummy & daddy enrol you to gym class when you were 6mths was worth it. Mummy definitely will enrol for your sister. You learnt how to fall properly and save yourself from hitting your head. I am glad you still remember how to protect yourself. Now you are 27mths old and yet you can still remember what you've learnt. I am so proud of you. Daddy did not see what happened. I just wished he saw all the dangerous things happened to you. I just want him to be more vigilant. You are only 27mths old.. you need to be monitored closely.

My son, Fa'iz Hilman, I love you very much. You are my strength for me to go on. You are the reason for me to live. Almighty God let me have you as a gift in my life. Now your sister will be around to make mummy more stronger. I love your daddy very much. I am aware that he can be very difficult and cold at times. Daddy have his own good qualities. Both of us start our marriage in a wrong direction. I was to engrossed in pleasing him and he was to engrossed in other matters. I just want you to know I love all our family including atuk hassan, nenek jun and all my nieces and nephew. I love you very much Fa'iz Hilman.

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Friday, July 18, 2008

Me... me..

Always up to something..
Milk a pose!
Water parade
Army days
Attention or senang diri?

me & daddy
My special $1/day "stroller"
Mummy at 20 weeks pregnant adik

Sleepy in the car
Popeye look
Me the handsome boy

Mummy and I have been sick. I went to the doctor twice. Mummy went to the doctor thrice. Mummy is very sick. When she sick she tends to be grouchy & keep to herself. I have been enjoying myself living with my cousins. My first activity for the day will be playing with them. I no longer look for mummy in the morning. I will be going to school soon. Daddy said my birthday gift is to be able to go to school. My birthday is in 2 weeks time. I know daddy & mummy will think of something special for me.
Mummy's belly is getting bigger. I like to sit and put my feet on mummy's belly. We still don't know I going to have a baby brother or sister. I heard daddy wants me to have more siblings!!! YIPEEEEE!!! Mummy don't know what to say. Mummy taking one step at a time. I weigh 15kgs. I did not put on much weight since last year. Maybe because I played a lot. I am a braver boy nowadays. I am not afraid of strangers. I talk more and people can understand me better. I know most alphabets even though my pronounciation is not clear. I know 123458.
Mummy & daddy stoped buying for me expesive toys. It is because in the house we have 2 other young toddlers like me. So if they buy toys for me .. they have to buy 3 toys to be fair to all. So for now my parents will bring me to places I like to go. No more toys for me uhukk uhukk uhukk Well it's ok.. i believe in school there will be more toys waiting for me.. I hope!

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Hilman latest pic..

Hilman at 21mths old. Pic taken with cousin Eka.

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

21 mths 2 weeks old

Yeayyyyy I can speak more and more. Mummy and daddy always respond that what I am saying but I am not sure they understand or not.

I can say:
gi shiop (shop)
what's that?
what's this?
play here

I can also identify more animals and things. Mummy always praise me for being helpful. I like to help bibik and mummy to do things. I like to serak-serak my toys too hehehehehe I am more choosy about food. Mummy upset I don't want to eat vegetables anymore. But I don't like it. What can I do? I still love fruits. At the moment I love nasi ayam & nasi beriyani.. yum yum.. I like rice with flavour.

I'll be staying with my twin cousins. I am so excited. I have friends to play with everyday. Some of my toys are at bedok. I think I going to have younger sibling. Mummy always let me play with her tummy. I am still curious what is inside my mummy's tummy.

Catch up soon!

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Saturday, May 03, 2008

Oooooooohhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhh hhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?????????

hmmmmmmmmm mummy tummy getting bigger. Mummy & daddy kept on saying I am going to have adik soon and I am going to be abang. Mummy always show to me small human picture... I think it's called baby. But these little humans no shame, always not wearing anything. Not even a diaper! I think mummy tummy 9 weeks old already. Mummy just found out she have something in her tummy on 29 April 2008. On 30th April I saw a lot of red liquid on mummy's dress. I said "eeee!" and pointed to mummy's dress. That's how she know there's so much red liquid. I think it's called blood. Mummy panicked and mummy called daddy. Mummy cleaned herself. Daddy came back from night shift work and he took a bathe. After that mummy rushed to the hospital with daddy. Lucky thing the little human being is fine. The heart is pumping strong.

Am not sure if mummy is going to create a blog for 'adik'. Mummy always feels tired and sick. Mummy also stressed up to the max. There might be some changes. Mummy and baby condition may not be stable. We might live somewhere with mummy's sister so that somebody can look after mummy and me. We'll see how it goes.

As for me I have been an active boy. I drawn all over my house. I can say more words but still pelat. I really don't know how should I feel about having adik. I guess I may not understand what it is all about. Mummy did not get a chance to feel happy for some reasons. She is too occupied with something. But I know mummy love her children very much. Mummy always kiss me when I am sleeping. Mummy always admire me when I am sleeping. I pray mummy can remain calm with all the things she is going through. Love mummy, love all.......

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Monday, March 17, 2008

Mickey Mouse Fan

Dear Son,

On the 15th of March 2008 we went to Disney On Ice show at the Singapore indoor stadium. Daddy bought the $62 ticket. Daddy also chose a perfect seat for us. I was unsure if you will sit still or understand the whole show. and guess what... U DID ENJOY THE SHOW! You wouldn't even let us adjust or change your seat. You sat that on our lap concentrating during the whole show. But during intermission, you are your usual self. You run around the indoor stadium, climbing the stairs up and down and daddy chase after you. Mummy bought the $12 cotton candy and about $15 popcorn (can't really remember how much). You cried only once during the show. Thank goodness it was during the finale you cried. You were shocked to hear the loud explosion.

We bought for you Mickey & Minnie figurines and a colouring book. Daddy told me that when I was in the toilet, you stand infront of the souveniers booth and kept on looking at the figurines.

At home you kept on spinning and turning until you get dizzy hehehehehe. You were immitating the disney on ice character. Lately we did have a lot of fun together. During the school holiday Mummy didn't work for 4 days. We spent a lot of time together. Now mummy is looking forward for our first holiday trip... yipeeeeeeeeeeeee

love & kisses,

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Sunday, March 02, 2008

I gonna be 19mths in 3 days time!

I do miss all of you. A lot of things. I just let the pictures & video do the talking.

hugs.. Fa'iz Hilman

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Wednesday, December 05, 2007

A Mickey Mouse Fan

Last week I saw Mickey Mouse picture in the newspaper while daddy was reading it. I was behind daddy and I ran around the couch to look at the picture. Daddy was reading another page and I flip the newspaper to find the picture. I pointed Mickey Mouse picture to daddy. Daddy showed me Donald Duck and Minnie Mouse picture too. But I was not interested. I am only interested in Mickey Mouse. For a few days I showed the picture to Mummy. Finally Mummy and daddy decided to bring me to Parkway Parade to look at Mickey Mouse. I watched Mickey Mouse from 1st floor. The show was at Basement 1. Mummy asked daddy to go basement 1 so that I can watch closer. But I did not understand Mummy's plan. I cried very loudly when daddy pulled me from railing. I held the railing tightly. Mummy coaxed until basement 1 but failed. When I heard the Mickey Mouse song I kept quiete. Mummy and daddy let me take pictures with Mickey Mouse. Mummy bought the Mickey doll which more than $20 so that I can take pictures with Mickey.

(Mummy da lama type.. tapi tak publish)

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Monday, November 19, 2007

Thanks to Hilman..hmmpph! or ?

Dear Son,

Mummy has been busy working. Sorry for not updating your blog. I do miss you. Sometimes I will miss you so much that I cried. But mummy got to do what mummy got to do... Since mummy stopped working, you've been very clingy to me. You are at my breast 70% of the time. Due to that I have breast milk again! I planned to stop breastfeeding when you are 2 years old.

Just a quick list of that what you can do by now.. you are 1 year 3months & 2 weeks..

  1. Climb
  2. Get down from bed and sofa
  3. Bite until mummy's arm blue black
  4. Baby talk (really long story)
  5. Waves bye bye
  6. Kiss
  7. Slap
  8. Punch
  9. Grab
  10. Kicks a ball
  11. Ride on your kiddy rides by himself
  12. Knock on the door
  13. Deep interest in fixing things.. he have spanner, 2 hammer, screwdriver, nuts etc Recently he tried to fix a switched off fan kekekekek.. kesian sungguh-sungguh dia.
  14. Sleep very late
  15. Prone to head injury
  16. Will shake his head when he refuse a food
  17. He love fruits very much
  18. Loves his daddy very much. Always want to menyelet.
  19. His favourite word "Yaben!" whatever it means.
  20. When bored he will say "jaln..jaln.. jaln" and stand near the gate.
  21. Words he can say (I spell the way he pronounce it) : da bis, some more, mamam, mainean, eva (my maid), nyenyek, dad, atouk, nak, nyaman
  22. When Hilman in the stroller and finish eating his biscuit.. he will raise his hand signaling he wants more biscuit.
  23. Learning how to put on socks & shoes.
  24. Musically inclined. Plays drum & bonggo well
  25. He likes to jump in the swimming pool.
  26. He immitates very fast.
  27. He knows how to switch on & off the TV and fan.
  28. He have a new sweetheart which is his Atok. He loves his atok very much. Will stop doing anything and run after his atok.
  29. Now he is tall and handsome. 12.5kg 85 cm
  30. Only wants daddy or atok to feed him bottled milk.
  31. He chooses his own toy.
  32. He chose his new shoe. He chose blue shoe and excitedly try to put on himself.
  33. He can unplug anything.
  34. Likes to dance
  35. Likes to feed people
  36. He likes spin cracker so much.. mummy & daddy always try to restrict him from taking too much.

continue later..daaa

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007


Hey All...

Guess what?!! Mummy forgot which email to use to login My dear mummy has been too busy with work. Pity mummy. Usually she arrived at 9pm, rush her dinner and breastfeed me till I fall asleep. But now I am happy. Mummy no longer at that place anymore. The working hours to long and they are taking mummy away from me. Mummy plans to be a trainer again. Hopefully training companies will give mummy classes to teach so that she don't have to work full time anymore.

I've gone through a lot lately. I fell down too many times and hit my head. Actually this is part of the reason why mummy decided to work part time again. I've been through skull x-ray.. the mean big machine and I went for EEG... the big man pun tapes on my head and after the procedure I cried so loudly because he remove the tape from my long hair. Hmmmmm but I enjoyed the EEG sessions because I get to play a lot of toys and musical instruments. The kind Aunty who can sings very well, said that I am a natural drummer. The truth is Atuk taught me how to play the drum hehehehehe. I have a Bongo in my toy bag. Ohhh my results for EEG.. I am NORMAL... Alhamdulillah. Mummy has been very nervous about the EEG. Now she feels happy that I am fine.

By the way Atuk and Nenek stay with me now. Everybody are happy that they are living with us. Atuk and Nenek always entertain me and they help to take care of me when mummy is not at home or busy. Hari Raya was fine. I think we didn't go visiting that much because mummy was busy working.

I miss everybody here. There aren't much photo because our digital camera is spoilt. Only video function is working. Mummy is uploading some videos at you tube. You are welcome to watch me. I have grown up. I use size 6 shoes, 12kg and about 85cm. I can run and march.

Yesterday I bit mummy till her arm is swollen. It is a big patch. I went to Marina Square with mummy and daddy after the appointment at KKH. We had fun. Mummy so relaxed and daddy took leave just to be with us. Thanks daddy.

Hugs Hugs All....

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Saturday, August 25, 2007

One after another...

Why all these happened? You knocked your head against dining table, you trip and your upper lips were cut, your 3 fingers bled and one of the nails chipped and lastly cpu fell on to your toes. All incidents happened within a week. Your grandmother was at our house since morning. I request she came over to look after you. She said you are indeed very hyperactive. No grandchild of hers is like you. You are the special one. With all the accidents, I decided to ask your grandparents to stay with us. I just want to work peacefully for our family. Mummy feels very upset about a few issues. But still mummy keeps it in my heart. I can voice out my anger but something worst may happen. For now I will try to keep calm. A quiet person is not always in the loosing end. Whatever decisions I take will be for your own good. I'll try my best in whatever I do for you my son. You are my strength to carry on with my life. *hugs*

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Sunday, August 19, 2007

Mischief: Biscuit

Dear Son,

Sometimes I wonder if you ever get tired playing. Seems like you played whole day without any rest. While I was having coffee and bread for dinner you were walking around the house and heading towards my bedroom. I tried to distract you by giving one of your biscuit container. Later you want to the blue container. I let you have it knowing that both container were tightly sealed. You walk around the house with both containers and finally you sat down and play with the containers. I heard the banging sound and you were observing the container. Out of sudden I notice you were very quiet. I know you were up to something. I look at you and I saw you sitting on the floor. I feel funny but I assured myself that you were just playing with the containers. I finished my coffee and on the way to the kitchen I saw all the biscuits is all over the floor. You managed to open the blue container. I was shocked and I told our maid to keep quiet. I want to get a video of the mess you did. You can check out the video at I will upload it in youtube too. I took the video of you messing the floor and you were so engrossed that you didn't realised I caught you red handed!

Later I taught you how to salam. I held your hand and move my hand towards your mouth. The third time we practise it you wanted to bite my finger! Your 7th teeth is growing. Maybe you feel uncomfortable at gum area.

I love your mischiefs. I love for who you are and what you are. I love your smile, your laughter and I love you with all my heart.

*Hugs Fa'iz Hilman*

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Friday, August 17, 2007

Am a big boy

Hello all.. I am 1 year old already. I can do and say new things. Can you see my pic and my girlfriend? She is new in my class. I like to look at her and I always crawl and walk after her. She is so cute.
This is Aunty Noorlina. She gave me a book and a barney balloon. Thank you aunty..*hugs* Daddy and I fetched mummy nearby the mrt station. When I saw mummy holding a balloon, I eargerly reached out my arms. Mummy said "Hilman more eager about the balloon than seeing mummy?!" hehehehehe Mummy can't believe it I react that way. At home mummy gave me the book which Aunty Noorlina bought for me. Mummy and daddy surprised I know how to put the puzzles together. I like the book so much because mummy will make funny sounds when reading the book.
This is me coming back from 7 eleven. Whenever mummy buys bread I will want to hold bread. I will hold the loaf of bread from 7 eleven to my house. There was one incident where another took a small piece of bread from me. Mummy took out one big piece to give it to her. I cried loudly. At first mummy thought I am not comfortable with the toddler's maid but actually I was angry mummy gave the toddler a piece of my bread. While I was crying loudly, mummy put me on my stroller and she let me hold the loaf of bread. Immediately I kept quiet and hold the bread tightly until I am in my house. Mummy told daddy I don't know how to share yet or maybe I love bread too much. Anyway, today mummy bought top one white bread to make sardine roll and california raisins bread for me. Some people said I am just like mummy.. prefer to eat bread rather than rice.
Did I tell you that I can walk steadily? I like to selet-selet around the house. Mummy taught me how to use the spoon. It is fun! I always try it on my own. And I still say 'apa je' whenever I disagree. Well that's me. -end-

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Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Fa'iz Hilman's 1st Birthday 5 August 2007

My 1st Birthday cakes
August 5th 2007

The car birthday cake was bought by my Aunty Hawa to celebrate at Bedok and mummy bought Taz birthday cake to celebrate at Woodlands. Thanks all for the cakes and gifts.

Alhamdulillah the busy days are over. Mummy had a lot of things to do and a lot of hearts to take care of. Many people wants to celebrate my birthday. Mummy got her own plans but can't be carried out because we have another big occassion. It's okay mummy, you can carry out your plans when I am big enough to join the fun. Now I can only see but cannot play with other kids. And we can also invite abg Raqin, abg Uwais, Kakak Zaara, Kakak Kamilia, Kakak atikah, abg Abid and more friends. I was blur with all the singing and wishes. I heard so many people wishing me Happy birthday, so many people singing for me, even mummy has been singing to me birthday songs since Thursday. Mummy want me to get used to the song. Mummy even joked with daddy "Hilman don't like people to speak loudly. Seems like we have to ask people to whisper to him the birthday song instead of singing loudly." hahahhahahaha It was funny but actually mummy was very worried. She was worried that I will cry when people sing for me the birthday song. What la mummy?! I am 12mths old.. am a big boy! Everything turns out well for me and mummy but for daddy.. kesian daddy busy helping out at the wedding. {Hugs daddy}

2nd August 2007
We went to look at fishes at Chua Chu Kang area. We went to a few fish farms. Mummy took at few pictures and videos. You can check it out at my you tube and mummy's multiply. After the koi adventure and the bollywood adventure we went to buy gifts for my twin cousins. In the evening we went to buy snacks for Saturday mini birthday at Woodlands and mummy bought ingredients for lasagne for Bedok birthday celebration. We went home and in the evening daddy went to work. After daddy left, mummy wrap my cousins gift. Mummy slept at 4am that night. Mummy prepare the goodies bag for my birthday and did the bouquet arrangement for my Uncle.

3rd August 2007
Mummy cooked 2 huge trays of lasagne and broccoli soup. After cooking we went to Aunty Ita house to help to prepare for the wedding. At about 7.30pm we left Woodlands and went to Bedok to celebrate my birthday. We had fun! My cake was very nice. I hear people singing and I don't understand a thing. You can see my blur look in the birthday song video in Youtube. All I know I enjoyed playing with my twin cousins. They have a lot of cars. Mummy bought a race track for their birthday. They love it so much especially abang Bazlee. I had fun playing with their cars and blocks. Uncle Adam was there too to celebrate with us.

4th August 2007
Early in the morning mummy cooked lepat pisang to bring to Woodland. After that mummy quickly get ready and we went to lot 1 to collect my birthday cake and we continued our journey to Woodland. After maghrib atok read some doa for me, sang the birthday song, cut the cake and the marharban group takes over. We left Woodland at about 11pm.

5th August 2007
Daddy left early to go to Bukit Batok. Mummy, me and bibik left later and we went to Woodland on our own. I wore the baju kurung. I think I look handsome. :) We watched the nikah and the rest of the day we hang out at Woodland. We left woodland at about 8pm.

6th August 2007
Mummy, daddy and myself woke up late. We were very tired. We woke up about 9.54am and the doctors' appointment is at 10.30am. Mummy woke daddy up to get ready to send me for my 1 year old vaccination and check up. The doctor said I am doing great. My milestones are very impressive. I can point using my finger to show what I want. I can even complaint to mummy about anybody. I will yak yak yak and point to the person am complaining about. I was cool at the clinic. Happily looking around and playing. I sat in the doctors room and let him check me. Mummy hold me tight and the doctor tickle my left thigh (actually the doctor wants to jab me). It was not painful at all. When I was laughing out of sudden the doctor jab my right thigh. UWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it was so painful! I cried for a few seconds only. Mummy carried to keep me calm. Doctor said I can stop taking baby food. I can eat adult food. Yeayyy!!! Mummy let me eat Mc Donalds apple slices, a little bit of unsalted fries, one chicken nugget and an apple juice. Yumm yummm While I was eating I heard a song with a very nice beat. I began to dance to my heart content. :)

My ability and experience for the past 12 months.
  1. I can dance.
  2. I babble more vowels.
  3. I can say a few words- apple, fishes, tak, apa, blum (belum), flower (fl..), ladybird (l...dy..ird), bird (bert), babababa, ma'am, yes, yayaya and few other baby talk.
  4. I can walk more steps on my own.
  5. I can twist and turn my body until my stroller strap loosen by itself.
  6. Many people said I am hyperactive. Even a mother whose son is very hyperactive said that I am more active than his son hmmpphhh!
  7. I can put shapes in the sorter.
  8. I can put object in a container.
  9. I can close some container on my own.
  10. I can read books on my own.
  11. I can point out apple & fishes.
  12. I keep quiet when I disagree with mummy and daddy. I will say yes when I agree.
  13. I can take off my own pants no matter how tight it is.
  14. I know how to sneak very well.
  15. I know how to act blur very well especially when I did something wrong.
  16. If I get hurt due to my own fault, I will not cry. I will keep quiete.
  17. When anybody make me angry, I will pull their hair.
  18. I show affection by biting people.
  19. In my 12months life, mummy beat my hand once for eating paper. I didn't cry after mummy explain to me.
  20. In my 12 months life, daddy accidentally smack my face because I bite him. It happened 1 or 2 days ago. His first reaction when he was in pain was to smack me. I didn't cry after daddy explain to me.
  21. In my 12 months life, my major accident was to put my finger on the fan. Luckily it was just a cut.
  22. In my 12 months life, mummy major panicked about me was twice. When I cried loudly when the doctor in hospital try to put a drip on me and also when some spirit disturb me at night that I refuse to stop crying.
  23. I will keep quiet and listen attentively to the azan.
  24. I know how to prevent from getting caught. If I want to go to my room I will crawl quietly. If mummy calls for me, crawl back to her and smile. If she calls for me and after that she walks away, I will continue crawling to my destination. If daddy doing something and I want to play with his things, I will take his things quietly and go to corner where he cannot see me.
  25. I like to eat paper.
  26. I will take anything beyond my reach at the shopping centre.
  27. Last and not least...I still droolssssss......

The list can go on... to many things to type. In short my first 12 months is a very Happy Life and I am one Happy Baby!

Mummy has uploaded some video in you tube and multiply. So feel free to watch! I will continue later when mummy not to busy. Ta Ta...

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Saturday, July 21, 2007

I did it!

Yes I did it! I turned my parents living room into my play room! Part of the living room hehehehhe..

More videos..

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Friday, July 20, 2007

Miss me?

Hi all...
Miss me? Mummy has been busy working and attending to me. Mummy has no time to update my blog till now. Mummy has not been lucky about switching her career. Seems like she is going to remain in the training line. I am 11 months old already. In a few weeks time I will be 1 year old. Mummy so excited about my birthday but seems like we can't do much because there is a family event which falls on my birthday. Mummy feels sad about this but I know mummy will think of something for us. Even a simple one will do. As long as I have a picture to look at to remember my 1 year old birthday. The first must always be the best and the rest of my life will be better.
I've been doing a lot of things for the past few weeks. Above are some of my pictures and video link. I took pictures with my new friend Taz. Taz is also mummy's favourite. Mummy got his t-shirt, hat and soft toy. I love it too and I love to bite it's nose!
As for my update.. now I can eat more solid food, I can walk 3 or 4 steps, I bite professionally, I can say "YES!" confidently when I want something, I know how to pretend to cry, I want to try any food mummy and daddy eats, I babble a lot, I clap my hand when I feel like it, I can do the twinkle twinkle little star action, I explore more areas in the house, in the shopping centre I will grab anything within reach and I will cry when mummy or daddy leave for work and me being left alone with bibik.
Well that's my update at the moment. Bye!

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

Why Hilman?

Dear Hilman,

Since mummy started working you had changed a lot. Mummy feels very sad about this. It is used to be so easy to feed you and to put you to sleep. For the past few days mummy has been at home and I notice the changes in you. When you see mummy you refuse to eat, drink milk and you refused to sleep. Most of the time I have to be out of your sight so that the maid can feed you and put you to sleep. Mummy thought you've been difficult because you want mummy to feed you. But when I tried to feed you, things get worst. Why sweety? I am worried about your health.

What are you trying to tell me Hilman? I know you miss me when I am away at work but we have no choice. Whenever I am at home I always try my best to spend time with you. I always rush home to be with you. I put you as my first priority eventhough I have dozens of things to do. Most of my friends told me it is normal. Kids want more attention. I believe I've given you a lot of attention. I don't mind if you want me to be by your side all the time but at least please drink your milk, eat your food and sleep well. You not wanting to eat, drink milk and sleep makes me feel I have to be away from home more often. From you lips I can see that you are getting dehydrate. We've been giving you some Pedialyte but you still need your milk and food. Hilman .. mummy love you very much. Please help mummy. Please help mummy not to be too difficult when mummy is at home.

Love you Hilman...

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Monday, June 18, 2007

10months Fa'iz Hilman's development & Hilman and the grass

Hey Sweety,

You are 10mths and almost 2 weeks old. You are walking with support. Now you can push the chairs without the help of the walker. Lately you love to push the walker around the house. You love to bite. I need to make you stop this habit. A few days ago, I gave you a Thai orange. I gave it to you and you instantly bite it. You gave a loud cry. The maid quickly wash your mouth and face. I asked her to give you Pedialyte. Since then you are more careful with what you bite. I gave you the orange again and you refused to take it. Smart boy! Since then I notice that you are more careful. Before you bite anything you will look at the thing, touch it and observe it. You will start with a small bite and you will bite more if you feel it is safe. Alhamdulillah, you still like to read. You love to explore and not afraid to explore. Today we discovered you love tomatoes. Your 5th and 6th teeth will be fully visible soon. You kept on sucking and playing with your front teeth. You love to talk. You can go on babababa, mamamma, burrrr, urghhh, muaaahhhh all day long. Great news .. you don't have to go for any follow up check up at KKH skin centre anymore. Am so happy for you.
"Your eyes is bigger." Pinching Doraemon's nose. You shaked the Doraemon until it almost drop.
You can't eat the candy but you can touch it.
You love to suck your toes. When you are on your stroller you always pull your socks and suck it. Mummy and daddy immediately bought for a shoe at Suntec hoping that you will stop sucking your socks. But instead you kept on pulling your shoe and bite it!
Maid struggling with Hilman. Hilman wants to go after the swan at Botanic Gardens.
Look mummy I can walk!
Happy Hilman on the mat. His reaction before he touched the grass.
"What was that?" His reaction after touching the grass.
"Ughhh.. am stuck on the mat! I don't want to touch grass."
Video of Hilman accidentally touch the grass.
So what is the fuss about grass? Hilman pengeli!! Anything furry he hates it. Above pictures and video is about Hilman and the grass. We were at Botanic Gardens. Hilman try his best not to touch the grass. He will balance himself when he was about to fall and he will not let his hands land on the grass. Hilman also don't like touching the rambutan, grass and anything with long fur. Hilman did not crawl beyond the picnic mat. He is only willing to walk on the grass and making sure he will not fall.
Other development about Hilman, he has changed since I started working. When Mummy at home he will be clingy to the extend he refused milk, food and sleep. Hilman just want to play with mummy. I worried about this but I can't do anything about it. I always hide when it's time for milk, food and sleep. The maid will help me with these tasks. Everyday when mummy at home, mummy belongs to Hilman. I can't do anything else but be with him. I will keep on explaining that I have to work for our family. Daddy also notice that you seek more attention. Mummy will try my best to give all my attention my son.. mummy stop here for now.
Hugs and kisses for my only child.. Fa'iz Hilman

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Happy Father's Day

Dear son,

Today we celebrated Father's Day. This year is the first time we celebrated Father's Day and Mother's Day. In the morning mummy felt sudden stress to do something for daddy. On Saturday, daddy requested burger to celebrate Father's Day. He wants a thick pattie and all the add ons. This morning mummy went to Limbang to look for the burgers but not available. Mummy went to the wet market to buy a few things needed for our maid to cook. After that I went to Lot 1 to hunt a simple gift for daddy. I wanted an engraved keychain. I thought of engraving your picture but it takes one week to do it. I have to find an alternative. The Kodak's shop assistant suggested doing a personalized frame but I felt it is a bad idea. I decided on badges. It was cool! It takes about 1.5 hours for the badges to be ready. I went to Popular to buy a paper to make it into a card and I search for an idea on how to make the gift unique. Finally this is what daddy gets...

Mummy is missing when daddy wakes up. I know he assumes I hunt for his gift. When I called home, daddy answered the call and I act blur. I told him I searched for bugger patties for hours. Later I called daddy again and asked him what he wants for his gift. He said no need. I put down the phone and smiled by myself while walking in the middle of Lot 1. When I reached home he saw me carrying a lot of ntuc bags. He continued watching tv and I quietly set his gift on the dining table. I placed sparkling white grape juice, penguin soft toy, a rolled card and the badges I placed in the can. I didn't tell daddy about the gift. I continued doing other things like putting away the groceries and feeding you lunch. When daddy realised the gifts he squeezed my shoulder and I am sure he is smiling. Don't know why I still want to act blur hahahahaha. Daddy don't know how to open the can. He pretended not interested in the content of the can. I kept cool as if I don't care whether he opens it or not. Later he lets you play with the can and you bite of the label "Happy Father's Day". Daddy opened the can with a can opened and he was surprised to see the badges as he never expected it! *Daddy sedih kan mummy act as if it's not Father's day? LOL*

Cute Right?

Burger Feast! Mummy's late lunch. Daddy's second lunch hehehe

That's how Father's Day goes. Happy Father's Day Daddy!


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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

At 10 months I have 4 teeth!!! Yeayyyyyyy~~~~~~~

View from my window...(mummy got nothing to write)

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Saturday, June 02, 2007


Dear Son,

Mummy feel so guilty leaving you at home and mummy goes to work. I find it difficult to work late too. My work mates have to go overseas to conduct training. I pray hard that I don't have to go out station. Whenever I see anything for babies, I tend to buy for you. I bought it out of guilt. I know I work to help our family and for you future, but I just can't help feeling guilty. Maybe when everything is okay, I will part time again so that I can attend to you often.

Yesterday I just apply for one day leave in August! That is 2 months away. My manager almost reject it because Monday is a busy day. I tried to change your doctor's appointment but I can't. I got to ask daddy to help. Daddy might send you alone to the clinic if I can't get my leave. My leave is approved but if I have to conduct training, I have to cancel my leave.

Only God knows how I feel. At work mummy always very busy. Mummy have no friend to talk to etc.. no kakis.. I am on my own. But it is better that way actually .. not much dispute will happen. But the work exam and work load is too much. I just feel I can't cope especially when there is family event. I really hope I can juggle. I hope people around me understand my situation. I have to pass all the exams in order for me to keep my job. I really pray hard hoping I will not have any problems that will affect my performance at work. Please please forgive me for going to work. Please love me even when I am not around. I love you my son Fa'iz Hilman

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Sunday, May 27, 2007

Mummy@work : Hilman@home

8 months old photos
9 months old photo

Dear Hilman,
Mummy has been working for a week. Alhamdulillah everything is fine. Mummy reached home at 8pm daily. You only get to see me for about 2 hours in a day. You still sleep with me at night and I still wake up in the middle of the night to feed you. Insya-Allah I will carry on sleeping with you every night till you are big enough to sleep on your own. To me being with you is the most important thing in my daily life. At the moment mummy only have day classes and exams to complete. I will have night classes, weekend classes and also conduct training in other countries. I hope I don't have to do that. I can't bear to leave you for a few days. During my first day at work, I almost cried when I look at your pic in your blog. But I tried to control my tears when daddy get aggitated that I am being sensitive and missing you. When mummy is away at work, we have a maid to help to look after you. Alhamdulillah she is a hardworking lady.
I believe everything is destined by Allah. I got a job on Wednesday and in the afternoon I went to Hyperlink website to look for a maid. I like your bibik Eva once I look at her face. I called up and the agency said Eva might not be available. Half an hour later I received a call saying that I can have Eva if I pay deposit on Wednesday. I rushed to Ming Arcade with you. We paid deposit and Eva came to our house on Saturday. Without Elaine from Hyperlink help we could not have a maid so soon. Thanks Elaine!
On Sunday mummy broke down. I am not sure if you will be well taken care of. I called Aunty Hawa and I cried. She rushed from Bedok to our house. She was shocked because I never behave this way. I was worried if you did not get enough milk, diaper changed, hurt yourself like knocking your head, falling etc and I am very worried if you pick anything and put it inside your mouth. Mummy still sms daddy or call him to check if everything is okay. I still remind them to change your diaper and give you milk. I also call Eva to check on everything. But I can't do that often. When I have training, I am not allowed to use the phone. Now you have a lot of rashes around you neck and chin. You have eczema and very sensitive skin and I have been extra careful in taking care your skin. What I predicted came true.. you will have rashes after a week mummy start work. I hope the rashes will go off soon. It is really a terrible rash you are having now.
Now mummy very stressed up. I have to take 5 exams to keep my job and another 5 tasks to get increment. I know I am supposed to be studying instead of typing this blog but I need a break. When I asked daddy if you miss me, he will tell me that you are fine. But I overheard he told someone that on my first day of work you kept on looking for me. Everyday I look forward to go home, I look forward for weekends and public holiday to spend time with you and I also look forward to go to work to make your future more secure. I love you very much my son. I do feel guilty leaving you at home in someone's else care but I have no choice. This is the life of a Singaporean. Whenever I felt guilty, I will buy for you a toy or anything you like to compasate the time we have lost.
Something interesting happened on Friday. I saw sea water being sucked up to the clouds. According to the news it happened twice a year. The picture below is taken using one of my colleague's handphone.

Oh yes! You have 2 teeth! 2 more coming up.. you are a grown up baby. Mummy got to u my son.

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